Let’s face it, sometimes the real thing just doesn’t cut it. With high unemployment, global terrorist threats, and an economy that leaves a lot to be desired, it seems that our real life President just doesn’t have what it takes to tackle the issues. When that happens, there are plenty of much better options offered up by Hollywood. In honor of this coming Election Day (this Tuesday, for all you non-voting types (and foreigners) out there), here is our list of 7 fictional Presidents we wouldn’t mind actually becoming our real President.
In order of Presidential potential…
7. Tom Beck (“Deep Impact”, played by Morgan Freeman)
Tom Beck isn’t on this list because he was a great President (hell, he did let an asteroid nearly wipe out mankind, after all), but he’s on this list because he was played by Morgan Freeman, and what’s better than the very notion of listening to Morgan Freeman give speeches? This might just be the very first time that people stayed awake during the State of the Union. Parents could use the President’s weekly fireside chats to lull their kids to sleep. Although it sure would have been nice if he didn’t almost get us all killed during that whole asteroid mess, though…
6. Dave Kovic (“Dave”, played by Kevin Kline)
Dave Kovic got to become President because he looked like the President, but it turns out he was an even better President than the guy that got elected. That kind of Everyman quality is exactly what we need in the White House to deal with a crippling economy and world threats. Okay, maybe not so much, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a President who hadn’t spent his entire life running for office? Dave Kovic would let us believe the lie that anyone in America could one day become President. It’s a heartwarming thought (if totally bullshit).
5. Linberg (“The Fifth Element”, played by Tony Lister)
When you’ve run the entire planet like Linberg has, running a single country can be a bit of a step-down — and easier. Linberg has already managed the very difficult task of looking physically badass, but also commanding respect (the whole physically looking like a badass part probably really helped). Plus, he’s already save the universe by choosing the right man for the right job. That kind of decision-making ability shouldn’t be discounted. Plus he’s huge, so just the image of him sitting across the table from other world leaders is too awesome to pass up.
4. David Palmer (“24″, played by Dennis Haysbert)
David Palmer, like his trusty counter-terrorism ace agent Jack Bauer, has been in plenty of tight squeezes and ticking clock situations. Through it all, he’s always made the right decisions, even when those decisions ended up sacrificing lots of people. And perhaps most impressive of all, he already proved he had stones when he shook off the shackles of his manipulative wife to become his own man. And anyways, if he ever ended up in another ticking clock situation involving Arab terrorists, his buddy Jack Bauer is always a phone call away. That’s the kind of Presidential “asset” you can’t beat.
3. James Marshall (“Air Force One”, played by Harrison Ford)
If you’re looking for a background in fighting terrorism, look no further than James Marshall, who not only has a hardline, “We will not negotiate with terrorists” stance, but he’s already fought them off — personally when they tried to hijack his plane. Fighting America’s awesome military is hard enough, but when even the President can knock you around and demand you get off his gosh darn plane, terrorists everywhere will be quaking in their boots at the thought of facing this hardass.
2. Thomas J. Whitmore (“Independence Day”, played by Bill Pullman)
A former Gulf War fighter pilot turned President, Thomas J. Whitmore is not only young and idealistic and damn handsome, but he also united us (and the world) in the battle against an invading alien horde. And if leading by example is something you admire, then Whitmore also stepped back into the cockpit and actually led the fight to those world-leeching bastards! You can’t get anymore pro-active than that. (Well, except possibly for our next movie President.) He also knows how to rally the troops, as can be seen from the clip below:
1. Abraham Lincoln (“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”, played by Benjamin Walker)
The only “real” President on this list, if in name only. He’s already faced vampires, what else could Al Qaeda do to scare him? Answer: not a damn thing. America’s most kung fu-est President has stalked the undead since he was a teenager, and even won a civil war, so fixing the deficit would be a cinch. Think of how easy it would be to work with the politicians on the other side when you can threaten them with an ax and a cache of silver bullets. Those blood-sucking Democrats won’t stand a chance.