9 Rules For a Long and Healthy Career as an Action Movie Henchman

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RULE #2: STAY BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF GLOBAL EVENTS

Anderson Cooper on CNN

Anderson Cooper is not your friend. Turn him off!

Look, it’s not your job to keep up with what’s going on in the world. You’re just doing a job, earning end’s meat, feeding the family, etc. Let the big boss worry about how your actions (as minimal as it may be) affect the rest of the world’s population. You’re just trying to collect a paycheck to keep the lights on. Spend too much time watching the news or reading the papers, and you might learn what your actions are costing the world, and really, who needs that kind of guilt trip? You’re just a faceless henchman — clock in, do your job, and go home to a nice dinner. Current events schmants.

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About Nix

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Editor/Writer at BeyondHollywood.com. Likes: long walks on the beach and Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic movies. Dislikes: 3D, shaky cam, and shaky cam in 3D. Got a site issue? Wanna submit Movie/TV news? Or to email me in regards to anything on the site, you can do so at nix (at) beyondhollywood.com.

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  • Brent McKnight

    Don’t stand to close to Al Leong, I’ve lived my life by this code, and it has served me well thus far.

    • http://www.beyondhollywood.com/ Nix

      There is just no Al Leong equivalent in today’s cinema, sadly. Even Trejo’s gone good.

      • ErickKwon

        I blame that on the homogenization of henchmen in today’s cinema. Compare the henchteam from “Die Hard” (Leong, Huey Lewis at the front desk, the brother with the tiny feet, bald ponytail at the elevator doors, the black guy) versus Bane’s crew in ‘TDKR”. Only guys I remember from “TDKR” are Teal’c and the stoned out looking dude with the bandolier of .50 ammo

    • shonuff

      Ah…. Al. I remember my pre-IMDB days when I just referred to him as level boss.