9 Rules For a Long and Healthy Career as an Action Movie Henchman

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RULE #2: STAY BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF GLOBAL EVENTS

Anderson Cooper on CNN

Anderson Cooper is not your friend. Turn him off!

Look, it’s not your job to keep up with what’s going on in the world. You’re just doing a job, earning end’s meat, feeding the family, etc. Let the big boss worry about how your actions (as minimal as it may be) affect the rest of the world’s population. You’re just trying to collect a paycheck to keep the lights on. Spend too much time watching the news or reading the papers, and you might learn what your actions are costing the world, and really, who needs that kind of guilt trip? You’re just a faceless henchman — clock in, do your job, and go home to a nice dinner. Current events schmants.

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