A Review of Peter Berg’s Hancock — SPOILERS

Tonight he comes, and it sucks donkey balls? That seems to be the opinion of a fellow in Texas (Plano, Texas, to be exact), who got sent an invitation to see the first-ever screening of “Hancock” (aka the only superhero movie this summer that isn’t based on a comic book), which is directed by Peter Berg (who was on hand at the screening) and stars Will Smith and Charlize Theron. AICN has got your scoop on the first-ever review for the film’s first-ever screening, and the word is … great first half, not so much second? Beware: There are MAJOR SPOILERS below.

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Here is a summary of what I’m about to say in this review for those wanting to avoid spoilers:

Hancock is a severely uneven film. The first half is an amazing action comedy with some big laughs, great set pieces, and slick production value (even in its current state of incompletion), but by the second half the damn thing falls apart. They get dramatic on you. They get teary eyed on you. And the whole thing feels like a throw away episode of Friday Night Lights. The storyline is a fucking mess to be honest…I hesitate to even call it that. The tone is inconsistent and it drags like you wouldn’t believe from the middle on out.

He goes on with the SPOILERS in great detail that you can read over at AICN. Or, to sum it up, here are the bulletpoints below:

- Will Smith is a god created thousands of years ago, but doesn’t remember because he has amnesia.

- He is fighting crime in L.A. and living in a trailer. He’s a drunk, and does more damage than he helps when he’s fighting said crime.

- One day Hancock saves Jason Bateman’s marketing agent character. The agent repays him by fixing his image — by having Hancock turn himself into the cops for having sex with a minor (!!!). When he comes out of prison, he’s reformed and beloved by the public again.

- The agent happens to be married to Charlize Theron, who, as it turns out, is also a superhero. In fact, she is Hancock’s wife, and the two of them were created as pairs a long time ago, along with many others. Except they’re the only ones still alive. (Until the sequel, probably.)

- As it turns out, whenever Theron and Hancock are close together, they lose their powers and become human.

- Bateman becomes evil upon learning about his wife and Hancock’s past.

- For the finale, escape prisoners and machine guns become involved.

Okay, that last part is pretty weird. No evil supervillains? But then again, these advance screening reviews generally are devoid of too much details, although to be sure, the reviewer really seemed baffled by a lot of what happens in the movie, as if the script skimp on the explanations.

In any case, I still have high hopes for this, if only because Peter Berg has never failed me before.