Albert Pyun’s Tales Of An Ancient Empire Looks Boll-Esque

34 Comments

Kevin Sorbo in Tales of an Ancient Empire (2010) Movie Image

I’m sure there are fans of Albert Pyun’s cheesy 1982 fantasy epic “The Sword and the Sorcerer” somewhere out there, but I’m not one of them. Admittedly, it’s been several long years since I’ve had the opportunity to sit down with the movie, and my tastes have changed radically since I was 10. According to Twitch, Pyun and “Hercules” star Kevin Sorbo are preparing to unleash the sequel, “Tales of an Ancient Empire,” on a world that may not be as receptive to this sort of SyFy Channel tomfoolery as they were back in the 80′s. Sure, “The Sword and the Sorcerer” has a loyal cult following and, yes, fantasy movies are a pretty easy sell these days, but is a follow-up really necessary? Can Pyun recapture the campy magic of the original film? Who knows. More importantly, I’m not sure that I really care. Hey, at least I’m being honest.

Here’s the official synopsis:

A princess is on a quest to unite the five greatest warriors to save her kingdom from a demon sorceress.

Mind-blowing stuff. The film co-stars Matthew Willig, Scott Paulin, Melissa Ordway, and Val Kilmer, the latter of whom apparently doesn’t care what he attaches his name to anymore. The buzz currently surrounding the flick is baffling; had this been directed by someone like Uwe Boll, nobody would care about it. As it currently stands, “Tales of an Ancient Empire” is scheduled to insult your intelligence sometime in 2010.

Author: Todd Rigney

Todd was raised on a steady diet of Hollywood blockbusters, late-night Cinemax programming, and USA’s “Up All Night,” which may explain why his taste in movies is more than a little questionable. When he isn’t providing news and reviews for Beyond Hollywood, he can be found lounging lazily on his couch, perched in front of his television, or dwelling in places where direct sunlight can be easily avoided. He's happily married, in his 30's, and totally badass. If you'd like to reach Todd, you can follow him on Twitter or send him email/scoops to todd (at) beyondhollywood.com.
  • http://www.originalgeekspodcast.com/ Dedpool aka Jiinx

    Good to see Sorbo in a fantasy or sci-fi role again. Loved Hercules and it’s campiness, and Andromeda was underrated. Will this be good? Probably not, but looks better than the first D&D film and most Sci-Fi…er I mean SyFy Channel fair. Or maybe that’s just me being optimistic.

  • Dedpool

    Good to see Sorbo in a fantasy or sci-fi role again. Loved Hercules and it’s campiness, and Andromeda was underrated. Will this be good? Probably not, but looks better than the first D&D film and most Sci-Fi…er I mean SyFy Channel fair. Or maybe that’s just me being optimistic.

  • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com/ Albert Pyun

    Dedpool, please be optimistic. I am. While I presume the Boll-Esque description is a fond compliment, I really hope the film delivers some level of magic, however faint. Yes, of course it will insult your intelligence! Would you expect any less from me? But I pray (for my sake), it also delivers a bit of fun and good cheesy pulp.

    I may be deluded but I believe Tales is at least a boil and a half better than a SyFy movie and much more subversive and profane.

    I’ll upload another scene next week…to really baffle you! And I really appreciate the attention — good, bad or ugly. Thanks to all.

    Best,
    Albert Pyun

    • http://www.originalgeekspodcast.com/ Dedpool aka Jiinx

      REALLY?!? You’re commenting on a message board? As for the Boll-esque comment, I didn’t make that and no you should NEVER take that as a compliment. The man is a hack and everything he touches he trivializes and makes gaudy and just bad. “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Story” or whatever is his best work so far and it was crap. You already have a better hero in Kevin Sorbo (I like Statham but he’s just not fantasy material to me), so you already have that going for you. Good Luck

      • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com/ Albert Pyun

        Dedpool — I haven’t seen Dungeon Siege but I think Tales is a different type of period fantasy. First, its not set in a medieval looking world but a more Asia Minor / North African setting. There’s more subversive humor and is a hard “R” with copiuous amounts of nudity, gore and…ah…nudity. It’s really a throwback in tone to a swashbuckler or high adventure pulp. Not really historical or grounded or even very sane. Just lots of cheap cheesy thrills for their own sake. Look, we know we don’t have a big budget and we really revel in that.

        I’m very excited for people to see it so they can lambast me and the film with full knowledge of what I’ve concocted! The film is on track to begin insulting everyone’s intelligence in March 2010.

        Best,
        Albert

        • http://www.originalgeekspodcast.com/ Dedpool aka Jiinx

          Sounds like mindless fun to me. I like mindless fun ever now and then. It seems like people have been spoiled and everything has to be the “thinking man’s version” of a film or genre. I like me some cool fights, gore and nudity for the sake of fights, gore and nudity. As long as it’s tastefully done. Kidding!

          • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com/ Albert Pyun

            “Tastefully”? Wow. You had me worried there for a moment. Glad you were kidding about that. Mindless fun I can deliver. Tasteful is my Kryptonite.

            Best,
            Albert

        • B Moore

          When is it coming out? Looks cool. I’d pay to see that princess naked.

          • Rand Wilkins

            IMO, yes to nudity for nudity sake. Footage looks very slick.

          • gidwa

            rather see a little sorbo skin myself :)

          • Kenny

            By Crom, that Princess is smokin’. If there is a god, she’ll be the one displaying all kinds of gratuitous nudity.

  • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com Albert Pyun

    Dedpool, please be optimistic. I am. While I presume the Boll-Esque description is a fond compliment, I really hope the film delivers some level of magic, however faint. Yes, of course it will insult your intelligence! Would you expect any less from me? But I pray (for my sake), it also delivers a bit of fun and good cheesy pulp.

    I may be deluded but I believe Tales is at least a boil and a half better than a SyFy movie and much more subversive and profane.

    I’ll upload another scene next week…to really baffle you! And I really appreciate the attention — good, bad or ugly. Thanks to all.

    Best,
    Albert Pyun

    • Dedpool

      REALLY?!? You’re commenting on a message board? As for the Boll-esque comment, I didn’t make that and no you should NEVER take that as a compliment. The man is a hack and everything he touches he trivializes and makes gaudy and just bad. “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Story” or whatever is his best work so far and it was crap. You already have a better hero in Kevin Sorbo (I like Statham but he’s just not fantasy material to me), so you already have that going for you. Good Luck

      • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com Albert Pyun

        Dedpool — I haven’t seen Dungeon Siege but I think Tales is a different type of period fantasy. First, its not set in a medieval looking world but a more Asia Minor / North African setting. There’s more subversive humor and is a hard “R” with copiuous amounts of nudity, gore and…ah…nudity. It’s really a throwback in tone to a swashbuckler or high adventure pulp. Not really historical or grounded or even very sane. Just lots of cheap cheesy thrills for their own sake. Look, we know we don’t have a big budget and we really revel in that.

        I’m very excited for people to see it so they can lambast me and the film with full knowledge of what I’ve concocted! The film is on track to begin insulting everyone’s intelligence in March 2010.

        Best,
        Albert

        • Dedpool

          Sounds like mindless fun to me. I like mindless fun ever now and then. It seems like people have been spoiled and everything has to be the “thinking man’s version” of a film or genre. I like me some cool fights, gore and nudity for the sake of fights, gore and nudity. As long as it’s tastefully done. Kidding!

          • http://www.talesofanancientempire.com Albert Pyun

            “Tastefully”? Wow. You had me worried there for a moment. Glad you were kidding about that. Mindless fun I can deliver. Tasteful is my Kryptonite.

            Best,
            Albert

        • B Moore

          When is it coming out? Looks cool. I’d pay to see that princess naked.

          • Rand Wilkins

            IMO, yes to nudity for nudity sake. Footage looks very slick.

          • gidwa

            rather see a little sorbo skin myself :)

          • Kenny

            By Crom, that Princess is smokin’. If there is a god, she’ll be the one displaying all kinds of gratuitous nudity.

  • Island Girl

    Albert Pyun is a theif and a scum bag. He robbed all of Guam over his scam film MAX HAVOC. The guy went around begging EVERYONE on the island for money to make it, then his producer defaults on his loan, costing us millions.

    The guy is a total piece of ****

    • http://www.originalgeekspodcast.com/ Dedpool aka Jiinx

      If the prodcuer defaulted then in wasn’t really Pyun’s fault, but the producers but still I can understand your frustrations. Don’t see his film, write a petition to boycott, make yourself heard.

      • Island Girl

        Pyun was this producer’s cheerleader. He was complicit in the scam this producer was undertaking.

        Pyun ask businesses all over our Island for money, told straight up lies to our people and government in order to get the loan gurantee, etc.

        Albert Pyun speaks out of both sides of his mouth. Don’t be impressed he comes on here to “chat with the fans.” The guy is a crook. Never, ever believe a word he says.

  • Island Girl

    Albert Pyun is a theif and a scum bag. He robbed all of Guam over his scam film MAX HAVOC. The guy went around begging EVERYONE on the island for money to make it, then his producer defaults on his loan, costing us millions.

    The guy is a total piece of ****

    • Dedpool

      If the prodcuer defaulted then in wasn’t really Pyun’s fault, but the producers but still I can understand your frustrations. Don’t see his film, write a petition to boycott, make yourself heard.

      • Island Girl

        Pyun was this producer’s cheerleader. He was complicit in the scam this producer was undertaking.

        Pyun ask businesses all over our Island for money, told straight up lies to our people and government in order to get the loan gurantee, etc.

        Albert Pyun speaks out of both sides of his mouth. Don’t be impressed he comes on here to “chat with the fans.” The guy is a crook. Never, ever believe a word he says.

  • http://www.originalgeekspodcast.com/ Dedpool aka Jiinx

    LOL That’s funny. If Uwe Boll had you’re personality (and didn’t touch beloved video game franchises) he may be more liked. It’s fine to go the Roger Corman route. Hell I even applaud it, but don’t take your stuff too seriously and you’ll be okay. Like you said, you know its low budget, it’s not Shakespeare, or Tolkein and you’re just having a good time. That alone puts you on better footing. His stuff he takes too seriously but doesn’t deliver on what he’s trying to. “House of the Dead” was a simple enough premise, but he went nuts with some of the footage, and the intercut videogame footage? Really? But I’m looking forward to this. Been a LOOONG time since I’ve seen “Sword and the SOrcerer”

  • Dedpool

    LOL That’s funny. If Uwe Boll had you’re personality (and didn’t touch beloved video game franchises) he may be more liked. It’s fine to go the Roger Corman route. Hell I even applaud it, but don’t take your stuff too seriously and you’ll be okay. Like you said, you know its low budget, it’s not Shakespeare, or Tolkein and you’re just having a good time. That alone puts you on better footing. His stuff he takes too seriously but doesn’t deliver on what he’s trying to. “House of the Dead” was a simple enough premise, but he went nuts with some of the footage, and the intercut videogame footage? Really? But I’m looking forward to this. Been a LOOONG time since I’ve seen “Sword and the SOrcerer”

  • NEONMAN77

    Let me just start off by saying that Albert Pyun is my favorite director. I absolutely love his twisted vision of a watchable film. He obviously cares little for the taste of the “average fan”.

    For some reason it is always quite easy to decipher which films are Albert Pyun’s by the duration and style of dialogue. And of course several recurring actors/actresses, as well as character names such as Brick Bardo. I enjoy them, and I hope others do as well.

  • NEONMAN77

    Let me just start off by saying that Albert Pyun is my favorite director. I absolutely love his twisted vision of a watchable film. He obviously cares little for the taste of the “average fan”.

    For some reason it is always quite easy to decipher which films are Albert Pyun’s by the duration and style of dialogue. And of course several recurring actors/actresses, as well as character names such as Brick Bardo. I enjoy them, and I hope others do as well.