Alt.sex (2001) Movie Review

Alt.sex is an independent comedy, and as far as I can tell, it was shot on 16mm film, although I could be wrong since the copy I saw had a terrible transfer and much of the colors bled. When I finally popped the movie in on a Sunday night, hoping to ignore the stupidity and self-importance that was the Oscars telecast, I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.

alt.sex stars John MacLeod as John, a 30-something who, after his girlfriend breaks up with him, is forced back on the dating scene. John takes advice from his colleagues at a computer company and begins a series of adventures to hook up with the “perfect woman.” Even as John tries to get his life back on track, his girlfriend Irene (Lauren Verge) has already moved on to Rob (Darby Duffin), the office stud. If all that wasn’t bad enough, a computer hacker name Mongo is wreaking havoc with John’s cyber life and his company’s computers. As John wades through the dating scene, will he ever find true love? Will women ever be impressed with his card tricks? And will Geoff the electronics nut ever be seen without some kind of computer on hand?

alt.sex is not a Hollywood “indie” film. The movie harkens back to the day when low budget and independent actually meant low budget and independent. As far as I know, the movie has received no distribution and is only available directly through the filmmaker’s website.

And because alt.sex is a no-budget film, it suffers greatly from low production values. The sets, for what they’re worth, includes apartments, someone’s home, a diner, a bar, and the company building. Let’s just say there aren’t a lot of technical achievements to boast about. Much of the movie is shot indoors and this unfortunately brings out the movie’s stale quality. Indoor scenes without natural lighting practically screams “low budget” out of every ugly white-washed wall. The exterior scenes on the other hand look better and doesn’t suffer from bad lightning and static cinematography. A camera placed on tripods and locked in place does not a movie make, guys.

Besides the fact that the film does not look all that great, I was hard pressed to understand what the company did or what were the job titles of some of the people there. John, for instance, seems to float between cubicles doing relatively little. What was the company’s name again? The saving grace of alt.sex is that it’s a very funny movie. The dialogue is very crisp and the actors show nice range in delivering their lines. Surprise surprise, this group of unknowns actually have talent. I say “surprise” only because I’ve seen some of the worst acting in indie movies, but alt.sex proves that it is possible to have no budget and still hire a great and talented cast.

The only real fault I can find with the actors is that from time to time lead John MacLeod (John) got on my nerves with his neurotic act. Also some of the characters were grossly underused; in particular Chip (Phil Rectra), a supposedly Chinese man who fakes a Chinese accent when around his boss. Why? Because he (Chip) gets a kick out of it, and so do we. (Although to be honest, Rectra looks as much Chinese as Wesley Snipes.) Juliet Bowler (Amanda) should have also been used more; her pissed-off secretary with a biting wit was simply charming to watch. In fact, I could have used a lot less of Irene and John and their silly “love affair” and more of their nutty colleagues.

alt.sex is most effective when its officemates engage in conversation, but the film turns very dull when we’re forced to watch John type on his keyboard in his chatroom excursions. (If I have to listen to an actor “speak” what he’s typing on a keyboard one more time…) alt.sex is a Two Guys in a Room Movie. Much of the film involves characters sitting in a room talking. Obviously the lack of funds and locations make this necessary in order to pad out the movie’s running length. Try shooting a gunfight when you can’t afford squibs. Luckily writer/director Eric Bickernicks has a wealth of funny topics and lines, so the conversations between John and his officemates about love, life, computers, and office politics are often hilarious.

For a comedy with no budget, alt.sex pays off where it matters the most. It’s a funny movie with some very inspired dialogues about online dating, escorts, and the question of rather a cow can be bought for $100 and killed to feed a bunch of drunken guys with machetes. I recommend going to the filmmaker’s website and getting yourself a copy of alt.sex. It’s a lot more fun than sitting at home typing on some chatroom, that’s for sure.

Eric Bickernicks (director) / Eric Bickernicks (screenplay)