All posts by Nix »
The Punisher (2004) Movie Review
Probably the only thing writer/director Jonathan Hensleigh got right with his big budget version of “The Punisher” is to cast Thomas Jane (“Deep Blue Sea”) in the lead role. With his raspy voice and...
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Troy (2004) Movie Review
The biggest problem modern audiences will encounter with Wolfgang Petersen’s “Troy”, despite its lavish backdrop and elaborate action set pieces, is that the film is adapted from a poem dating back over 2,000 years....
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Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004) Movie Review
Movies like “Agent Cody Banks 2″ allow me to break out the old adage: “It is what it is”. And if you happen to like what it is, then you’ll like this movie. But...
Read More »Starsky and Hutch (2004) Movie Review
I’m reasonably certain almost no one had anything nice to say when plans were announced to remake “Starsky and Hutch”, the popular ’70s cop show, into a feature length comedy starring Ben Stiller and...
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Mr. Handy (aka Mr. Hong, 2004) Movie Review
If you’ve seen your share of South Korean comedies in the last few years, you might be wondering if the industry has stopped making adult comedies altogether. With the likes of “Sex is Zero”...
Read More »Dark Harvest (2003) Movie Review
Apparently scarecrows are the new Inbred Rednecks to low-budget horror filmmakers. Aside from Paul Moore’s “Dark Harvest”, about killer scarecrows that come back from the dead seeking revenge, we also had the South African...
Read More »Shredder (2003) Movie Review
“Shredder” is a pretty idiotic movie. It’s completely random in just about everything it does and there’s no rhyme or reason for why things are the way they are. If there is one solace...
Read More »Bloody Beach (2000) Movie Review
If you were wondering if director In Soo Kim and his five writers (count’em, five) patterned their Teen Slasher “Bloody Beach” after their American counterparts, all you need to do is watch what happens...
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Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004) Movie Review
Sometimes you wonder why studios make sequels when there seems to be no reason and certainly no creative impetus to do so. Take “Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation”, a movie where the...
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Mezzo Forte (2001) Movie Review
Except for two explicit sex scenes that have no real relevance with the narrative, Yasuomi Umetsu’s “Mezzo Forte” might just be the best action-comedy anime I’ve seen in a while. It’s certainly better than...
Read More »The Big Red One (1980) Movie Review
Samuel Fuller’s 1980 World War II movie “The Big Red One” won’t sit well with modern audiences. For one, it’s rated PG, which is in itself a major oddity with today’s war movies. Although...
Read More »Target (2004) Movie Review
The funniest scene in “Target”, a film full of unintentionally funny moments, is near the beginning, when Charlie (Stephen Baldwin) walks past one of those starving artists types singing some terrible song in the...
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Ju-on: The Grudge 2 (2003) Movie Review
The Japanese “Juon” series seems to function under the motto: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. From what I’ve read of the franchise (there are four so far), there seems to be no...
Read More »Spirit of Jeet Keun Do (aka Once Upon a Time in High School, 2004) Movie Review
I must confess that in middle school I got into too many fights and in high school I spent most of my time sleeping in class or reading the history of Jesse James and...
Read More »Torque (2004) Movie Review
MTV mainstay Joseph Kahn’s feature film debut, “Torque”, earned a pitiful 2.7 out of a possible 10 points at IMDB.com (as of this writing), which makes it worst than Vanilla Ice’s “Cool as Ice”...
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The Locals (2003) Movie Review
The first thing you notice about Greg Page’s “The Locals” is this: cinematographer Bret Nichols has no idea how to light a movie, much less a horror film. Our New Zealand film opens with...
Read More »Devil’s Knight (2003) Movie Review
You may or may not have noticed, but the Urban Street market is exploding. Go into your local Blockbusters and you’ll find the shelves stocked full of movie titles made by people you’ve never...
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Saints and Soldiers (2004) Movie Review
Nowadays war movies, especially those set in World War II, are the exclusive domain of Hollywood, what with their unlimited resources and mind-numbing ability to throw as much money as humanly possible at a...
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Thought Crimes (2003) Movie Review
“Thought Crimes” is an origins episode. Even though it’s being sold as a 90-minute movie, anyone familiar with episodic TV can tell you right away that “Thought Crimes” was a 2-hour TV pilot that...
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