Articles Written by Bill Paterson
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004) Movie Review
Hey, folks use computers to simulate lots of aspects of real life — sex, gambling, and all that important stuff. So, what the hell, why not fabricate the backdrop of an entire movie? That’s exactly what director Kerry Conran has done with “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.”
This is the first movie I saw [...]
Open Water (2003) Movie Review
A fish tale of a movie like “Open Water” is bound to be gutted by some. Opinions vary widely among both critics and audiences on whether “Open Water” is a watershed or waterlogged. We’ll get back to my thoughts on that in a moment. For now, let me just say that I will not step [...]
September 7th, 2004 | Bill Paterson | 0 Comments | Read MoreRainy Dog (1997) Movie Review
Upon viewing the two films following “Shinjuku Triad Society”, it became clear to me that this is not exactly a trilogy. Not anymore than, say, three wacky ’80s movies starring those Corey tools would be a trilogy.
Search out alternative opinions on the “Black Society Trilogy” and you’ll get lots of esoteric manure positing the [...]
Shinjuku Triad Society (1995) Movie Review
I have to admit I was a Miike virgin prior to watching the DVD debut of “Shinjuku Triad Society.” From all I’d heard and read about the director’s visceral style, I expected to have the dry heaves before the half-hour mark. I should point out that my prior experience with Asian cinema was limited to [...]
August 5th, 2004 | Bill Paterson | 0 Comments | Read MoreGuilty Pleasures (1997) Movie Review
Have you ever watched a horror movie and, rather than battle an irrational paranoia that you might somehow be killed, actually find yourself hoping for it? Well, I seriously considered taking a meat cleaver to my own cranium within the first five minutes of “Guilty Pleasures”.
Filmmakers Joseph Parda and Joseph Zaso offer us two vignettes, [...]
And Then They Were Dead (2004) Movie Review
As this is my first review for Nixflix.com, let’s set a few ground rules. First, I don’t use big words just to show you how smart I am. I know lots of fancy words. Like sycophant, for example. But you’re looking for an informed opinion on movies and not my SAT scores. Second, I don’t [...]
July 6th, 2004 | Bill Paterson | 0 Comments | Read MoreLey Lines (1999) Movie Review
Sad to say, I enjoyed this film the least of the three in the set. I probably shouldn’t take points off just because “Ley Lines” is a little less frenetic than its hyperactive predecessors. But I can’t help it: This one bored me. Although, I did finally see a connection among all three films in [...]
April 17th, 2004 | Bill Paterson | 0 Comments | Read MoreHunting Humans (2002) Movie Review
You sort of have to grade these low-budget independent horror flicks on a curve. Like when you have a class full of lacrosse players taking “Intro to Spanish”. Let’s just assume getting an “A” is improbable.
By that standard, some of the excrement I’ve seen in this genre would go from zero stars to half [...]
I was imagining Edward Cullen in the book to be very handsome, pale, broad-chest, very manly, (so many things in ...
Whenever a theory appears to you as the only possible one, take this as a sign that you have neither ...
Nike, you mean? 
Twilight Was Awesome, But The Whoe Sparkling Vampire Thing Was A Little Stupid, It Seemed Like She Wanted It To ...
