Because the Last One Was So Awesome, Resident Evil 6 Has Been Set for 2014

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) Movie PosterI gotta say, “Resident Evil: Retribution”, the fifth in the never-say-die franchise, was so Godawful bad (I mean, it stunk up the joint like something that has never stunk up the joint in the history of things stinking up joints), I couldn’t even bring myself to write a review. In fact, if I had written a review, I would have spent the entire review just calling the people who made “Resident Evil: Retribution” a reality every name in the book, including the writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson and the star, Milla Jovovich. How DARE they put out such a shoddy, shitty, absolutely shoddy-shitty production?

Anyways. “Resident Evil: Retribution” may have sucked donkey balls, but it still went on to earn $221 million worldwide from a $65 million budget. In Hollywood, when a movie’s box office take almost quadruples its production budget, that’s an automatic “Go” for a sequel, so I’m not entirely surprise that STYD says Sony has already scheduled part 6 to open in September 12, 2014.

While it seems impossible that the franchise could continue to go down hill after the simply awful “Retribution”, I’m not going to underestimate the ability of Paul W.S. Anderson and his baby mama Milla Jovovich to put out another crappy product overstuffed with nonsensical characters and dry, uninspired action sequences standing in for “plot”. Even by the low, low, low standards of horror movie franchises based on videogames, “Retribution” was simply astounding in its ability to be, quite simply put, fucking awful.

But hey, if you’re a fan of this poop masquerading as entertainment, “Resident Evil 6” is coming to claim your hard-earned money in 2014.

(By the way, I’m at least gratified by the knowledge that “Retribution” only made $42 million of its $221 million from Stateside moviegoers. If nothing else, at least my fellow Americans realized what a shitty shithole “Retribution” was, and for the most part, stayed away.)

Bingbing Li, Michelle Rodriguez, Sienna Guillory, Colin Salmon and Oded Fehr in Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) Movie Image