Birds Remake Stalled Because of Stupid Premise, Says Producer

I’ll be honest with you, I never got the whole point behind the original “The Birds”. They’re birds, man. How are they supposed to be scary? I can understand zombies. Ghosts. Demons. Etc. But birds? I don’t know… Anyways, a remake was supposed to be coming our way many moons ago with Naomi Watts doing the fleeing and Martin Campbell doing the orchestrating, but apparently that’s fallen by the wayside thanks to a variety of factors, the kinda dumb idea of birds being bad guys being one of them.

The folks at HorrorSquad cornered Platinum Dunes producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form, and got the word about the remake from them, and they don’t sound all that optimistic this thing will ever get made.

Says Brad Fuller:

“At this point, we’re gonna make this ["Nightmare"] and we’re gonna make the next “Friday the 13th,” I hope, and then we’ll see where we are with scripts and material, but it doesn’t feel like that’s up next for us.”

The Platinum Dunes boys are remaking pretty much any horror movie they can get their hands on, from “Friday the 13th” to “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” to the upcoming “A Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise. So if even they say the premise of “The Birds” doesn’t seem to lend itself to an actual movie, you gotta figure the thing ain’t ever going to happen. Then again, this is Hollywood, and I’m sure some genius producer won’t just pick up the rights as soon as PD lets it lapse…

Good thing or bad thing? You decide. As someone who thought the original was kind of silly, I gotta say I don’t really mind at all. Change the birds to, say, monkeys, and we can talk. Come on, who doesn’t like flying monkeys? Evil, flying monkeys?

Below: They’re so evil they have mastered rocket packs! Now that’s evil!