Blade Director Takes on Crow Remake!

Oh man, I don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, I’d love to see The Crow back on the big screen where it belongs instead of being relegated to direct-to-DVD hell just rehashing the same exact storyline as the original, but on the other hand — how could you possibly top Alex Proyas’ 1994 original? Plus, the sequels that have followed were just so awful, quite possibly the worst example of Hollywood carbon copying the original to make some easy money, no thanks to producer Ed Pressman, who I personally blame for burying The Crow franchise. Pressman has produced three sequels to the 1994 original, and each one has been more Goadawful than the previous. So now there’s talk of a remake — and Stephen Norrington, most famous for “Blade” and infamous for “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” (which I kinda liked, though everyone despised with a passion) wants to be at the helm.

According to Norrington (via Variety), here’s how he’ll approach the remake (which we mind as well call a “reboot” now and get it over with):

“Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style,” Norrington told Daily Variety.

The last time Norrington directed a movie was 2003’s “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”. That movie was so widely criticized by mainstream critics and hated by fans of the Alan Moore comics (and let’s not get started on Crazy Old Man Moore himself) that Norrington hasn’t worked since, apparently of his own accord. Now he’s back, and if he can bring back the same kind of action he offered up in “Blade”, then a grittier, darker take on “The Crow” should be fine. Then again, how the hell do you make “The Crow” any “darker” or “grittier” than what Proyas already gave us in 1994?

Then again, considering the sheer awfulness of the previous three “Crow” movies, maybe a “reboot” is just what we need to clean the palette. Ryan Kavanaugh of Relativity Media is trying to do just that by prying the rights to the movie away from the aforementioned Ed Pressman.

Please, Ed, for the love of God, give someone else the rights to The Crow. God knows you haven’t a clue what the frak to do with it. The first one was a hit because of two things: the legend of Brandon Lee’s death during the making of the movie, and Alex Proyas’ insanely cool gothic style direction. The sequels, well, the phrase “blood from a stone” comes to mind. Don’t you think you’ve gotten as much blood from this stone as you can get, Ed? Time to let it go, my friend, let it go…

Below: The last Crow sequel starred Edward Furlong. Yes, someone *cough*Ed Pressman*cough* actually thought this was a good idea.