Break Out the Assault Rifles — The Orc Wars Has Begun!

Rusty Joiner in Orc Wars (2013) Movie Image

First rule of fighting a war against ugly, “Lord of the Rings” Orcs — never, ever lose your handgun. What happens when you do? Orcs pick it up, and now you’re dealing with Orcs armed with handguns. And no one wants that. The second rule of fighting a war against ugly Orcs? Don’t shout at them to “Get off your lawn”. They almost always never listen.

For those in the mood for some Tomfoolery this morning, check out a ludicrous trailer for director Kohl Glass’ “Orc Wars”. Glass was the editor on a 2011 movie called “Orcs”, and I guess there were some costumes left over from that movie and he decided to make a sorta sequel called “Orc Wars”. Or something. I dunno, I’m just spitballin’ here. It looks goofy as hell, but hey, what do you expect from a movie called “Orc Wars”?

Looking to leave the world behind, an ex-Special Forces (John Norton) buys a ranch in the remote American West, where he encounters a strange series of trespassers, including a beautiful elf princess and a Native American mystic. But when orcs invade his property, John must give up his isolation to become a hero, before the orcs sacrifice his new charges and unleash a dark magic on our world.

The film stars the improbably named Rusty Joiner, along with “The George Lopez Show’s” Masiela Lusha. Wesley John is the token mystic Indian who dispenses sage advice and exposition. Also starring Isaac Singleton, Maclain Nelson, and Adam Johnson.

No idea about a release date, but you can keep up to date on the film as well as get a few more pics over at the movie’s Facebook page. I’m guessing Syfy Original Movie sometime this year?

Orc Wars (2013) Movie Poster

Via : Quiet Earth