Brett Ratner to Bring his Magic to Conan Remake?

It seems a day doesn’t go by that Brett Ratner’s name isn’t in the news being attached to some movie or other. Usually the whole thing never comes to fruition, which leads me to believe that it’s all one big gag by Brett Ratner to fuck with us. Seriously, how can one man be attached to so many movies at once? Damn you, Brett Ratner, stop playing with our emotions! But I digress. The latest movie rumored to be in the running for The Rat treatment is Lionsgate’s “Conan” reboot. Or at least, that’s what someone told someone who writes for Dread Central.

Thusly:

We got word today that Nu Image is offering the long-awaited new Conan movie to, of all people, Brett Ratner. Over the years there have been so directors circling this project, everyone from Robert Rodriguez to Rob Zombie, the fact that Brett Ratner might actually attach himself to this and make it a reality is almost enough to make one wish they’d just stop trying to bring Robert E. Howard’s creation back to the big screen.

Yeah, you know what? If they do end up remaking this as I’ve feared all along, they deserve Brett Ratner’s brand of middling mediocrity. Screw you for remaking “Conan” in the first place. The original still holds up TODAY. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Below: The Rat likes to get them before the meth habit kicks in.