High Tension (2003) Movie Review

The French Slasher movie “Haute Tension” has been re-titled “Switchblade Romance” for its North American release. Why? I don’t know. I suppose movie execs are talentless hacks rather they are in France or America. Certainly the thought of needlessly renaming a film is something...

February 16th, 2004 | Read More

The Nest (2002) Movie Review

2002’s “The Nest” probably surprised a lot of people, myself included, who didn’t think the general French movie industry was capable of producing anything other than films about how great it is to have sex all the time or how crappy and miserable the world is and we should all...

December 7th, 2003 | Read More

Dobermann (1997) Movie Review

It would be a mistake to consider Jan Kounen’s “Dobermann” an actual movie. It’s a 90-minute music video in the guise of a “clever” crime thriller with hidden desires to be cheap splatterpunk nonsense. The plot is appropriately simplistic, and the characters are accordingly...

May 27th, 2003 | Read More

Riders (aka Steal, 2002) Movie Review

“Riders”, a movie about four tight-knit thieves (supposedly) under 30 who uses their extreme sports ability to stick it to The Man by robbing them and giving to their retirement fund, does these things wrong: The thieves are distinctive looking: One is white with spiked blond hair; the other...

March 14th, 2003 | Read More

Bloody Mallory (2002) Movie Review

Parts “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and parts “John Carpenter’s Vampires”, the French film “Bloody Mallory” is all goofball. It would be a big mistake to take anything that transpires within the film seriously, mostly because the filmmakers themselves aren’t....

February 22nd, 2003 | Read More

Irreversible (2002) Movie Review

“Irreversible” opens slowly, quickly shifts into a chaotic but exciting series of events, before falling back down to Earth and eventually becoming dull. The French film opens with writer/director Gaspar Noe trying to prove that camerawork doesn’t mean you have to use a tripod, or even...

February 12th, 2003 | Read More

Intimacy (2001) Movie Review

“Intimacy” is the kind of film that you never see being made in America. This could be for a number of reasons, from the average American’s belief that anything with vast amounts of nudity should be rated XXX (or that mind boggling NC-17) or be tossed into the frozen wasteland of late-night...

September 1st, 2002 | Read More

Wasabi (2001) Movie Review

I am told by someone “in the know” that French action auteur Luc Besson and his favorite muse, Jean Reno, are celebrated idols in Japan. They are, to paraphrase, “big stuff” over there. What does this have to do with the two men’s latest effort, “Wasabi”? The...

August 18th, 2002 | Read More

The Lover (1991) Movie Review

Jean-Jacques Annaud’s The Lover is based on a novel by Marguerite Duras, supposedly a semi-autobiography about her early teen years in French-colonized Vietnam, where she met a rich (and much older) Chinaman (Hong Kong movie star Tony Leung Ka Fai) who becomes her lover. The young, 15-year old...

May 25th, 2002 | Read More

Amelie (2001) Movie Review

On more than one occasion in writer/director Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Amelie a character leaves his motorpad unattended and unlocked for long periods at a time, but it’s always there when he comes back for it. In another scene, the heroine witnesses a corner grocer browbeating his helper and...

February 3rd, 2002 | Read More

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) Movie Review

I will be the first to admit that my history is not as sharp or as extensive as I would like it to be, but I am reasonably sure neither the French nor the Native Americans knew martial arts in the 18th century. Mind you, I could be wrong, but I’m quite sure I’m not. The above statement aside,...

January 18th, 2002 | Read More

Vidocq (aka Dark Portals, 2001) Movie Review

The French film “Vidocq” is an interesting failure. It is breathtaking in its visuals, has an interesting narrative, but its execution is so erratic that I am left to wonder if one-name director Pitof is auditioning to direct a Nine Inch Nails music video instead of trying to make a coherent...

January 1st, 2002 | Read More

The Crimson Rivers (2002) Movie Review

Credits are a strange thing. The credits that roll after the stars’ names have flashed are inconsequential to the moviegoing public. Hence, most people have no idea who, or what, a “Line Producer” is. A Line Producer, in short, is the man who controls the purse strings of a movie’s...

December 24th, 2001 | Read More

The Messenger (1999) Movie Review

It’s somewhat ironic that I’ve just finished reviewing an excellent period adventure movie in Akira Kurosawa’s “Seven Samurai” and now I’m about to royally trash another period adventure movie. To begin with, let me state that I am big fan of Luc Besson, whose “La...

December 3rd, 2001 | Read More

Crying Freeman (1995) Movie Review

I must admit to being extremely frustrated with director Christophe Gans’ French version of the popular manga comic book. My frustration is part annoyance and part sadness. The annoyance comes from the fact that the movie is almost a scene-by-scene copy of the Crying Freeman anime (the Japanese...

November 19th, 2001 | Read More

Kiss of the Dragon (2002) Movie Review

“Kiss of the Dragon” is Jet Li’s third “international” film — movies that he is involved in without his usual Hong Kong crew. The movie, filmed exclusively in Paris, France, re-teams Li with his long-time contributor, Corey Yuen, who does all of the movie’s fight...

November 2nd, 2001 | Read More

Chocolat (2002) Movie Review

“Chocolat” is a cheat. For me, that is. The movie has gotten a lot of exposure, what having been nominated for a Best Picture Oscar and all. It’s a fine little movie, perhaps a little too sweet on top (pun intended), but all in all, it is a well-filmed, well-directed, and finely acted...

October 28th, 2001 | Read More

La Femme Nikita (1991) Movie Review

“La Femme Nikita” is the movie that catapulted French action director Luc Besson to international stardom, as well as convincing the world the French were capable of more than just moody films about the nature of humanity and all that other good stuff. “Nikita” proved so successful...

October 9th, 2001 | Read More

Small Change (1976) Movie Review

Francois Truffaut’s “Small Change,” in my humble opinion, is the best French movie I have ever seen. It is also the best film from the group of “new wave” directors of the ’60s, including Truffaut and fellow movie critic turned filmmaker, Jean Luc Goddard. The two...

September 23rd, 2001 | Read More

Baise Moi (2000) Movie Review

“Baise Moi,” which translates from French into “Rape Me” in English, is an oddball of a movie — if you can call it a “movie” at all, that is. The flick is controversial only in the sense that it shows hard-core sex in what purports to be a mainstream film. The...

September 21st, 2001 | Read More