Exit Wounds (2001) Movie Review

Exit Wounds is one of those movies that you just have to shake your head at and let out a chuckle, because to do otherwise would be giving it too much credit, and it’s a movie that certainly deserves very little credit for anything. If there were awards for the Worst Casting and Goofiest Movie,...

February 9th, 2002 | Read More

Planet of the Apes (2001) Movie Review

Dumb. No other word can aptly describe this 2001 “re-imagining” (the filmmakers’ word, not mine) of the classic 1968 Charlton Heston sci-fi movie of the same name. There is absolutely nothing about this movie that is even remotely smart. Ironically, it’s more entertaining to point...

February 6th, 2002 | Read More

New Dragon Inn (1992) Movie Review

The thing about New Dragon Inn is, I really don’t care all that much for the movie or its ridiculous plot. Still, I can’t bring myself to completely dislike it, if only for the appearance of Brigitte Lin as Mo Yan, a female warrior who is the real heart of the movie. Without Lin’s character,...

February 5th, 2002 | Read More

Amelie (2001) Movie Review

On more than one occasion in writer/director Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Amelie a character leaves his motorpad unattended and unlocked for long periods at a time, but it’s always there when he comes back for it. In another scene, the heroine witnesses a corner grocer browbeating his helper and...

February 3rd, 2002 | Read More

Zoolander (2001) Movie Review

Writer/director Ben Stiller’s Zoolander is a mixed bag. It’s funny as hell when it hits the right note, but drags seemingly forever when Ben Stiller is onscreen for too long, furrowing his forehead at us. The funniest scenes involve other people interacting with Zoolander, but director Stiller...

February 2nd, 2002 | Read More

Oceans 11 (2001) Movie Review

Danny Ocean has just been released from prison after a 4-year stint. He’s a confidence man (re: conman) who has lost his wife, Tess, after being incarcerated, something he hasn’t accepted yet, and doesn’t plan to. He’s back in the real world, alone, and with a scheme almost as...

February 1st, 2002 | Read More

The Others (2001) Movie Review

Spanish filmmaker Alejandro Amenabar’s The Others came along at the perfect time. The spooky horror film entered the marketplace at a time when teenybopper slasher flicks and supposedly “horror” films that relied on CGI ghosts were gobbling up money and turning the minds of hapless...

January 31st, 2002 | Read More

The Musketeer (2001) Movie Review

Alexandre Dumas is a French novelist, although you wouldn’t know it from all the countless film versions of his books by Americans, including ad nauseam versions of “The 3 Musketeers,” “The Count of Monte Cristo”, and “The Man in the Iron Mask.” Dumas is a popular...

January 27th, 2002 | Read More

Hana-Bi (1997) Movie Review

Detective Nishi (Takeshi Kitano) is having a very bad week. It starts with the death of his 4-year old daughter, which leads to his wife’s hospitalization and discovery that she has terminal cancer, and while visiting his wife, Nishi’s partner, and best friend Horibe (Ren Osugi), who Nishi...

January 26th, 2002 | Read More

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) Movie Review

Peter Jackson’s “The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring” is an amazing film to behold. Consider that the movie, the first in a trilogy based on the J.R.R. Tolkien books, is probably the most ambitious filmmaking project in the history of film, and that it took 2 years and $300...

January 25th, 2002 | Read More

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) Movie Review

I love period movies, but with one minor exception: I hate movie that takes place in the ’70s. I don’t know what it is about the era, maybe it’s the clothes that just completely turn me off. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s just something about that era that...

January 22nd, 2002 | Read More

Pitch Black (2000) Movie Review

“Pitch Black” is a Last Stand in a Haunted House movie with a couple of variations on the formula: the haunted house is a sun-scorched planet with 3 suns and the ghosts are alien creatures that shuns light. Writer/director David Twohy, who chooses a bleached-out look for the film, gives the...

January 21st, 2002 | Read More

Hot War (1998) Movie Review

I’m not a big fan of movies that shows more than one scene of someone typing on a computer keyboard. I have been using computers for over 10 years and unless I’m writing on a word document (say, this review right now) both of my hands are never on the keyboard at once and typing away. When...

January 21st, 2002 | Read More

A Beautiful Mind (2001) Movie Review

“A Beautiful Mind” tells the real story of John Nash, a Princeton mathematician who actually still teaches there to this day. Nash is played by Russell Crowe, who is quickly distinguishing himself to be an incredibly versatile actor, going from an overweight and not so bright cop (”L.A....

January 19th, 2002 | Read More

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) Movie Review

I will be the first to admit that my history is not as sharp or as extensive as I would like it to be, but I am reasonably sure neither the French nor the Native Americans knew martial arts in the 18th century. Mind you, I could be wrong, but I’m quite sure I’m not. The above statement aside,...

January 18th, 2002 | Read More

Full-Time Killer (2001) Movie Review

Full-Time Killer concerns a professional assassin named O (Takashi Sorimachi), a Japanese living in Hong Kong (although he doesn’t speak Chinese) and happens to be the top assassin in Asia. All of Asia’s most lucrative murder contracts go through O because he’s known for his efficiency...

January 18th, 2002 | Read More

Violent Cop (1989) Movie Review

Azuma (Takeshi Kitano) is a 20th century cop living in a country still mired in the traditions of the past. Rookie cops kowtow to the veterans at every turn and even the homicidal drug dealers respect their crime boss. But Azuma isn’t your average cop — he’s prone to violence and perhaps,...

January 17th, 2002 | Read More

The Forsaken (2001) Movie Review

I have seen a lot of vampire movies, probably more than my share, to be honest. I have sat through funny vampire movies. Scary vampire movies. Bloody vampire movies. Science fiction vampire movies. Even futuristic vampire movies. Maybe I’ve way too much vampire movies. Some of the movies try to...

January 14th, 2002 | Read More

Sexy Beast (2000) Movie Review

I’m starting to wonder if there’s been any British movie that have made it to the States that isn’t a crime or heist film! After Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, Snatch, and Essex Boys, all crime or caper heist films, my fourth British movie in as many years is Sexy Beast, yet another...

January 14th, 2002 | Read More

Snatch (2000) Movie Review

I have only seen two Guy Ritchie movies (he’s made 3 so far) and I can reasonably determine what the third movie will be like: 1) It will have a multitude of characters, some of which comes and goes at the whim of Ritchie, who is his own writer, and thus he’s his own creative partner; 2)...

January 13th, 2002 | Read More