Full Contact (1992) Movie Review

Ringo Lam’s Full Contact is a There’s No Honor Among Thieves Movie, a genre of film categorized by the presence of an anti-hero (that is, he’s a criminal but he’s also the hero of the piece) and the betrayal of that anti-hero by his co-horts — he’s double-crossed and...

January 5th, 2002 | Read More

Moulin Rouge (2001) Movie Review

While watching Moulin Rouge, I suddenly developed a headache and a general dislike for musicals. (Not that I ever cared for them in the first place, natch.) There is a theory floating around, one that I have called the Michael Bay Theory of Film Editing, that involves movies edited in such a rapid-fire...

January 4th, 2002 | Read More

The Fast and the Furious (2001) Movie Review

I have a soft spot for stupid movies, but what I can’t stand is a movie that is both stupid and generic. The Fast and the Furious is that kind of movie — it’s both stupid and generic, and those are two traits that I cannot forgive. What passes for a plot in Furious mines the Undercover...

January 3rd, 2002 | Read More

Series 7: The Contenders (2001) Movie Review

Series 7: The Contenders is the kind of movie that can only be made with a small, even nonexistent, budget, and done in guerilla filmmaking fashion. It’s a take on the “reality TV” that has swamped (or plagued, depending on your perspective on the genre) prime-time network television...

January 3rd, 2002 | Read More

Training Day (2001) Movie Review

Training Day gives me flashbacks of my first week in L.A. When I moved there, I had visions of the big Hollywood sign, movie stars, and film crews shooting movies down the street. Those are the common images people conjure up when they think about moving to L.A. Unfortunately, I had little money and...

January 3rd, 2002 | Read More

Vidocq (aka Dark Portals, 2001) Movie Review

The French film “Vidocq” is an interesting failure. It is breathtaking in its visuals, has an interesting narrative, but its execution is so erratic that I am left to wonder if one-name director Pitof is auditioning to direct a Nine Inch Nails music video instead of trying to make a coherent...

January 1st, 2002 | Read More

Just Visiting (2001) Movie Review

I am a sucker for Fist Out of Water movies. No matter how bad, how poorly conceived, or how incompetently executed, even a bad Fish Out of Water movie can make me smile. Some of my favorites have been the Crocodile Dundee series with Paul Hogan and the Farscape TV show. I couldn’t really tell you...

January 1st, 2002 | Read More

Scary Movie 2 (2001) Movie Review

At one point during the first Scary Movie, a penis is shoved through a bathroom stall, enters a character’s ear and exits the other ear. This is a hilarious sight gag, rather you enjoy lowbrow humor or not. Fortunately, I sometimes like lowbrow humor, and laughed my proverbial buttocks off at the...

January 1st, 2002 | Read More

Enemy at the Gates (2001) Movie Review

I call “Enemy at the Gates” a German movie, but it could easily be an American or British film. The movie stars English speakers in Russian roles, and Ed Harris, a distinctively American actor, as a German Major. In an aesthetic choice, the actors all speak English regardless of their character’s...

December 29th, 2001 | Read More

A Man Called Hero (1999) Movie Review

A Man Called Hero’s biggest problem is its lack of focus. The movie meanders from one plot to another, returns to a previous plot to tie up loose ends, then meanders to tie up another loose plot, while leaving a half dozen other plots unresolved. At slightly over 90 minutes, a movie with too much...

December 28th, 2001 | Read More

The Accidental Spy (2001) Movie Review

Halfway through Jackie Chan’s latest effort, The Accidental Spy, a thought occurred to me. It was this: If I was a cab driver (irregardless of country, or city of work) and someone, a total stranger, got in and told me to “follow that car” — pointing to a car in front of me that...

December 28th, 2001 | Read More

Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace (1999) Movie Review

Selling a Star Wars movie to the moviegoing public is like selling blood to vampires. You know they want it, they know they want it, and not any amount of bad press or bad reviews about the movie (or blood) is going to put them off from getting it. This is the dilemma (if you can call it that) for Star...

December 27th, 2001 | Read More

Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back (2001) Movie Review

The movie studio, Miramax, started out life as an “indie studio” that became known as a place for independent filmmakers to flock to in order to make their independent films with minimal “studio” interference. The studio, ran by brothers Bob and Harvey Weinstein, eventually became...

December 27th, 2001 | Read More

A Better Tomorrow 2 (1987) Movie Review

Ascant one year after the tremendous success of its original, A Better Tomorrow, theaters around the world were treated to A Better Tomorrow II. Although I think a better title might have been, It’s Still a Better Tomorrow (tongue firmly in cheek, of course). The movie is incredibly rough around...

December 27th, 2001 | Read More

Ghosts of Mars (2001) Movie Review

Ghosts of Mars is officially called John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars. This is because John Carpenter is a horror fan favorite, and the horror fans are a group of people who are known for their fanatical dedication to the genre regardless of quality (or lack thereof). Ghosts of Mars has an intriguing...

December 26th, 2001 | Read More

The One (2001) Movie Review

In The One, we are told there are 125 universes parallel to our own (another take on the tried and true sci-fi The Parallel Universe movie), and in each universe there is a copy of us who shares our energy, or life force. When one of our doppelganger dies in another universe, his life energy is transferred...

December 26th, 2001 | Read More

Pearl Harbor (2001) Movie Review

In the ’90s, “Titanic” came and broke every record in sight. It was a mammoth success and is still the number one box office champ 4 years after its release. James Cameron, the film’s writer/director, hasn’t done a movie since, which is of his own choice, because after the...

December 26th, 2001 | Read More

The Crimson Rivers (2002) Movie Review

Credits are a strange thing. The credits that roll after the stars’ names have flashed are inconsequential to the moviegoing public. Hence, most people have no idea who, or what, a “Line Producer” is. A Line Producer, in short, is the man who controls the purse strings of a movie’s...

December 24th, 2001 | Read More

The Score (2001) Movie Review

The Score represents a problem for me. Like so many people, I am prone to enjoy almost any movie starring Robert De Niro. Why? For one, the man rarely makes bad movies. I believe De Niro is as shrewd a businessman and skilled craftsman in real life as he is shrewd and “always on the ball”...

December 22nd, 2001 | Read More

Iron Monkey (1993) Movie Review

Iron Monkey is a tale of two movies. First, let me assure you that “writing credits” in Hong Kong action films are a secondary (if that) concern. Movies are “envisioned” and then shot and “written” while the movie is in-production. This is the case with Iron Monkey,...

December 22nd, 2001 | Read More