David Fincher in Talks to Direct Facebook Movie The Social Network

It’s a movie. About Facebook. Or the creation of Facebook, to be precise, and how a global conspiracy tried to stop the social networking site’s founder Mark Zuckerberg from realizing his dream of uniting people with way too much time on their hands. Okay, so maybe there isn’t a global conspiracy involved, but it is a movie about the creation of Facebook, and Columbia Pictures is trying to get David Fincher to direct. Why he would do such a thing, one can only speculate. And of course by “speculate” I mean stare in dumb amazement that they’re making a movie about the creation of Face-friggin’-book.

Variety says “The Social Network” will focus on founder Mark Zuckerberg as he creates the networking site in 2004 while in Harvard. This, one presumes, will involve how his family and friends mocked him for spending all his time in his dorm while they were out getting laid and boozing it up. The movie will end with Zuckerberg throwing $100 dollar bills in the face of those same friends and families while cackling and yelling, “Suck on that! Suck on that! Whose the loser now, huh? Whose the loser now!!!!” Or perhaps not.

How exactly this qualifies as an actual movie, and not a short 30-minute History channel feature is beyond me. Then again, I don’t think very highly of these social networking sites and their fancy social, er, networking. Why, back in my day, we were grateful to have two cups tied together by a rope by which we may communicate from 5 feet away. Get off my lawn!

Scott Rudin and Michael De Luca will produce along with Kevin Spacey and Dana Brunetti. If Fincher signs on (please, David, say no, there must be better movies out there for you to spend your vast talents on, yes?), the idea is to begin production later this year, presumably before the Facebook fad dies. Aaron Sorkin (”Charlie Wilson’s War”) is scripting.

Below: Facebook. Because real life is filled with STD’s.