Dragonball Movie is … Awesome? Kinda, Says Anonymous Reviewer.

I believe this is the first fan review for James Wong’s live-action “Dragonball” movie that I’ve seen online. It could be real, it could be fake, or it could be your grandma Rachel writing in pretending to a kid who uses the word “cool” like it’s going out of style. Whatever, take it for what you will. The review showed up on AICN and the boys over there don’t exactly list the reviewer’s credits, i.e. is he a good source or not?, so I’m assuming they’re doing the caveat emptor deal. In any case, if this guy is a fake reviewer, I really like how he calls everything Fox Studios has put up so far “nothing but shit”. Now that’s brass balls! (If he is a plant, he better hope his bosses aren’t checking up on his “work”…)

You can read the full review for yourself over at AICN. Meanwhile, here are the highlights and lowlights:

The good:

– A 13-15 minute final fight between Goku and Picollo, which the reviewer describes as “fucking awesome” and “lot of blowing shit up, super cool flying scenes, awesome ki blasts.” I think he really liked it.
– Picollo (James Marsters) turns green at the end of the movie. A sticking point among many Dragonball fans after those images from the trailer surfaced, it would appear.
– Justin Chatwin as Goku turns into a 8-9 feet tall giant baboon when he looks at the moon. Huh? You wacky Japanese animators.

The bad:

– Characters not in the movie: Krillin and Tien.
– 22-23 minutes of high school bullshit.
– Jamie Chung as Chi Chi makes Jessica Alba as Sue Storm look like an Oscar winning performance, apparently.
– Chow Yun Fat as an not perverted Master Roshi was a disappointment to the reviewer. Apparently the Roshi in the anime liked to grab asses and titties, and Chow Yun Fat doesn’t do that in the movie.
– Shenron the Dragon’s shadow is seen and his voice is heard, but not the whole dragon itself.
– Eriko Tamura as Mai had nice boobies (see below pic).

The reviewer gives the movie a 6.5 on the scale of 10. By his own admission, he deducted a whopping 2.5 points for the lack of a perverted Roshi and visible Shenron the Dragon.

Have at it, kiddos.