Fat Guy Gets Hot Girls Part 2 aka Kevin James’ Next Movie

Let’s face it, no one who looks like Kevin James has a chance with someone who looks like Rosario Dawson or Leslie Bibb. Can we at least be honest about that? Luckily for us, honesty has nothing to do with formulaic Hollywood comedies, since if they did, well, what would be the point, right? If you wanted realistic, depressing endings, you’d go watch a movie where everyone is speaking French and those pesky subtitles are involved. You certainly won’t be watching a romcom starring Kevin James of “Paul Blart” fame romancing Rosario Dawson and Leslie Bibb, and eventually ending up with one of them by movie’s end. Plus, talking animals.

So what’s it about? Variety says James will play a (probably inept) zookeeper who is taught dating skills by the animals at his zoo. He uses the knowledge to pick up the woman of his dreams. Yes, I kid you not, that’s the actual plot. And yes, it’s all live-action. I’m assuming the animals develop abilities to speak. Either that, or they do it by chalk board. We can only hope someone tries to rob the zoo or something.

Frank Coraci (“Click”) will direct from a script by James, Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Rock Reuben and Nick Bakay. The film is expected to shoot in Boston later this year.

Say what you will about “Paul Blart”, but it was pretty damn funny. If you expected more than what it gave you, it’s not the movie’s fault you’re an idiot for going into a movie called “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” expecting great writing, acting, etc. Don’t be such a moron next time, you know what you were getting.

Below: Rosario Dawson and Leslie Bibb. It’s good to be Kevin James.