Final Destination 5 Gets a Writer

Yes, they’re making another “Final Destination” movie despite the fact that the last one, the fourth entry, was supposed to be the last. $181 million in worldwide box office will tend to change people’s minds. Hell, the studio isn’t even trying to pretend like there are any other reasons for making a fifth one except to cash in on the still successful franchise, and in some ways, you gotta admire them for their lack of bother.

The latest news on the horror franchise has “The Thing” prequel writer Eric Heisserer being hired to pen the fifth installment. As with all the previous “Final Destination” movies, this one will no doubt feature a bunch of pretty young people who believe they have cheated death, only to realize that death is a pretty vindictive fella, and he always gets his man, usually in very gruesome, bloody ways. Me personally, I’d just get it over with and avoid all that unnecessarily painful death part.

One scene in the new movie is said to involve lasik eye surgery. Man, glad I got mine done before this movie came out.

Pretty young white people. Check. Token minority. Check. Death? Double check.