Forgotten Action Cinema: Eliminators

“Demonic Toys” director Peter Manoogian’s cheesy 1986 science fiction flick “Eliminators” has, in cinematic theory, everything you could possibly want from an action movie. The feature generous offers up plenty of martial arts experts, badass cyborgs, adorable robot companions, evil scientists, butch lesbians, deadly lasers, intense boat chases, mind-warping time travel devices, Roman soldiers, and, of course, Denise Crosby in a wet t-shirt. What more could you possibly ask for? If you’re concerned with such things as plot, characterization, and story arcs, you’re casting your lines in the wrong waters, as “Eliminators” has little to offer in terms of actual depth and substance. The film follows the adventures of Mandroid, a gentleman who has, for reasons that remain entirely unclear to me, been meticulously transformed into a shoddy, low-budget version of “Robocop” courtesy of a crazed inventor who would love nothing more than to travel back in time and rule ancient Rome. Since the aforementioned lunatic’s robotic creation isn’t too keen on becoming just another killing machine, he breaks free, teams up with a sexy scientist, a scruffy river rat, and a ninja in the woods, and proceeds to exact revenge upon his demented maker. Low-budget bliss promptly ensues. If you’re a fan of producer Charles Band and you have a high tolerance for sci-fi goofiness and lots of poorly-staged action sequences, then “Eliminators” should be a no-brainer. I adore it.