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Sometimes the motion pictures I choose to watch for this column leave me utterly speechless, and the 1986 action flick “Hawk Jones” is one of them. Not because it’s horribly violent, disturbingly sexual, or outrageously foul, mind you, but because it features a surprisingly competent all-child cast. Directed by Richard Lowry and co-written by his brother Tor, “Hawk Jones” follows the adventures of a pint-sized police detective as he embarks on a mission to take down the mob. Along with his mouthy, strong-willed partner, the kids set out to clean up the streets the only way they know how: by kicking an incredible amount of ass. Valiant Duhart stars as the titular hero, a bespectacled do-gooder who goes out of his way to avoid confrontation, that is, until you say something about his dear old mother. Then all hell breaks loose. The film plays like a PM Entertainment-style thriller produced by the likes of Hal Roach, complete with car chases, gunplay, and a balls-out finale complete with a high body count. Of course, none of the violence is taken seriously; instead of muzzle flashes, the guns POWs and BANGs, all of which are presented with the style and grace of a cheap 60’s comic book. Much to my surprise, “Hawk Jones” is a hell of a lot of fun, even if you hold the unpopular opinion that children are nothing more than an unfortunate by-product required for the survival of our species. Although this film just screams to be seen on VHS — the fuzzy picture is part of the flick’s charm — locating a copy can be quite difficult. Thankfully, the filmmakers have released their masterpiece on DVD, which you can purchase by clicking right here. If you think this thing is just too good to be true, take a gander at the trailer embedded below.