Forgotten Action Cinema: Revolt

When his brother is savagely murdered attempting to smuggle drugs across the Mexican border, an grieving man with a sweet mustache decides to avenge his sibling’s untimely demise. Along the way, you’ll also encounter Iranian terrorism, American racism, and an abundance of icky social intolerance. Such is the plot for the enjoyably dodgy 1985 actioner “Revolt”, a film that, until its unexpected arrival on Netflix, had been lost in the trenches of cinematic obscurity for a very long time. In addition to providing plenty of low-brow thrills and several dented buckets of unintentional comedy, the film also answers the timeless question, “Can you have too many mustaches in one motion picture?” The answer, I’ve learned, is yes. One or two is fine, but more than five just makes all the white people look alike. Even more peculiar than the number of soup strainers on-display is the opening sequence, which treats the film like one of those self-righteous “educational” flicks from the 50’s and 60’s. The icing on the cake, of course, is the acting; all of the dialogue is delivered as if everyone on-board had graduated at the bottom of their class from the prestigious Kung Fu Overdub Academy, complete with uncomfortable over-annunciation and stilted delivery. “Revolt” is every bad action movie fan’s wet dream, and ranks as one of the worst pictures I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. That is, however, the ultimate compliment coming from someone with my questionable taste in cinema. Since there really aren’t any videos to show you guys, I’ve included a few nifty pics from the flick below.