G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Novelization Says No Lovin’ for Snake Eyes

You know, I’m not the biggest fan or reader or watcher of “G.I. Joe” out there, but I always thought ol Snake Eyes and Scarlett were an item? Or was I wrong? I know that Warren Ellis sort of stuck it to Snake Eyes in his recent Cartoon Network “G.I. Joe: Resolute” movie, basically having Scarlett pick Duke over Snake Eyes, and it looks like the same will happen with Stephen Sommers’ movie version, only it may not be Duke who Scarlett picks, but, er, possibly Marlon Wayans’ Ripcord? Say it ain’t so, Joes!

All of this comes to you courtesy of a very lengthy review of the movie’s novelization over at Generals Joes.

In short, instead of Scarlett and Snake Eyes possibly hooking up, Scarlett (a Canadian, apparently) will look at Snake Eyes as no more than a “brother”. Meanwhile, Ripcord (Wayans) will have a thing for Scarlett, and apparently talks about it quite often. From the trailers, you did see some interaction between Ripcord and Scarlett. Mostly she looks horrified at his buffoonery, though that could just be prelude to true love. Isn’t that how it always works in the movies?

The review goes on in greater, SPOILER-ish details. Read it if you want to know more.

Below: Ah, pillow talk.