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Anyhoo. Heat Vision reports that you can count on two more names to “Go, Joe!” next year, with Wu Tang founding member RZA aka Robert Fitzgerald (who also happens to be an all-around kung fu nut) and former “Detroit 187″ castmember D.J. Cotrona joining the cast of the Jon Chu-directed sequel.
Cotrona will play Flint, a shotgun-carrying, beret-wearing Joe, while RZA will get to fulfill his rather odd obsession with all things kung fu by playing a martial arts master named the Blind Master, sensei to Joes Snake-Eyes and Jinx. RZA already has a kung fu movie set in China co-starring Russell Crowe in the works called “The Man with the Iron Fists”. (I shit you not) Dude really, really, REALLY loves kung fu.
Heat Vision says that besides Channing Tatum as Duke, the rest of the Joes (and one supposes, the villains) will all come from an all-new cast. That … doesn’t sound right. They may either have accidentally left out Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, or they aren’t sure. Either way, let me put it to Paramount straight:
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A DAMN G.I. JOE MOVIE WITHOUT SNAKE EYES AND STORM SHADOW. PERIOD.