Happy Fourth of July, America
Let’s face it, America rocks. If you don’t agree, then you’re probably not one of us (you poor bastard), or you are one and if you still disagree, then you’re a self-hating douche bag. Either way, go fuck yourself. And now, our daily dose of celebrities looking smoking hot in American flag themed bikini ensembles. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s probably not such a good idea to turn our precious American flag into a frakkin’ bikini, or any other article of clothing for that matter, but just for THIS ONE TIME, we’re going to look the other way. Please to enjoy. (And try not to blow off your fingers throwing dynamites at your bratty nephews, ya bums. Happy Fourth of July!)
Marla Maples and her Bikini Loves America
You gotta love Marla Maples. She’s 44-years old and counting, but she doesn’t look a day over, uh, 39? Fact is, some woman just look good aging, and Marla is certainly one of those. Tell me she’s not out there on the prowl every night, waiting to pounce on the nearest fresh meat that wanders into her cougar radar. If you were looking for a good example of why we should not only indulge, but encourage cougars to prowl the streets of America, Marla Maples is that example. And oh yeah, she also loves America, hence the American flag waving while on the beach with a bikini. Yup, this doesn’t look staged at all. Mind you, not that I’m complaining. Hotness in a bikini never needs to apologize. Happy Fourth of July, America!
Gillian Anderson in X-Files 2 Promos
The last time we saw Mulder and Scully, the two paranormal investigators with FBI badges, they were in a hotel somewhere doing something to each other. I think. Look, the fact is, I tune out of the show way before the series finale, so I really haven’t a clue what happened at the end, since I saw it a long time ago, and to be honest with you, it wasn’t that good, and I didn’t pay much attention. But anyhoo, the X-Files are back in a new movie, and that means Gillian Anderson is back. Oh yeah, that David Duchovney guy is back, too, but who cares about him, am I right? Gillian Anderson is looking mighty fine in these X-Files 2 promos. Yes, even when she’s all bundled up in a thick ass jacket.
Random Foreign Babe of the Day: Lauretta Gerards
Let’s face it, I know nothing about our Random Foreign Babe of the Day, one Lauretta Gerards, except that she’s from Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, the Netherlands, and that she’s most known for playing Malú Starrenburg-Branca in the TV show Onderweg naar morgen, which I THINK is a TV show. Or maybe not. In any case, Lauretta Gerards kind of looks like Beyonce, except not so much. From the right angles, you could probably pay Lauretta to show up at your birthday and try to convince your buddies that you know Beyonce personally. Of course, it’ll help if your buddies are fucking morons, but I digress.
Latin Flavor: Fernanda Lopez
Our Latin Flavor of the Day is one Fernanda Lopez, who is an actress and model. I think. I don’t really know all that much about her, being that I haven’t watched a single second of Spanish TV, and whenever I try, invariably a midget wearing a cowboy outfit runs out and starts going “bang bang” with his fingers at a hot girl in a two-piece bikini and do-me pumps. It’s very disconcerting, to say the least, especially since I’m kind of frightened of midgets and cowboy outfits, so put those two together, and I’m usually freaking out. Anyways, that’s my excuse why I know nothing about Fernanda Lopez. Please to enjoy.
Ashley Tisdale’s Bikini Pictures Make a Comeback
Around the same time this year, Ashley Tisdale treated us to some very nice bikini pictures, and yes, that body was just as nice as we always suspected that it would be. As someone who has probably seen one The Suite Life of Zack and Cody more than humanly necessary for an adult male (hey, it’s not my fault, I have nephews, and they basically live on a steady diet of Disney Channel shows — yeah, that’s the ticket), I gotta admit, any chance to ogle bikini pictures of Ashley Tisdale is A-Okay in my book. Hey, if she didn’t want us to admire what’s underneath that clothes, she shouldn’t look so good. Yeah, that’s right, it’s all her fault. Whew, I’m glad we’re off the hook!
Karen Carreno Bikini Madness
Man, it’s hot outside. Seriously, kids, if you were to ask me if I believed in Global Warming, I would probably punch you in the face. Mind you, not that I don’t believe in Global Warming, but rather I’ve been pre-programmed by the Red Chinese to become violent whenever someone says the trigger words to me, which in this case just happens to be Global Warming. Anyhoo. It’s so hot outside, that I had to run inside and toss up this post of Karen Carreno. She’s a Colombian model, I think, and she looks really good in a bikini. Which leads us to … Karen Carreno bikini madness! Please to enjoy.
Krystal Forscutt is Still Wickedly Hot
It’s Friday, and you know what that means — that’s right, it’s time for another pictorial spread by everyone’s favorite former Big Brother Australia contestant, Krystal Forscutt. Seriously, who knew you could make such a nice living by losing on a reality TV competition show? Krystal Forscutt is the poster girl for being hot and using that hotness to make a nice living appearing in various lads magazines (as they’re called over there, and by “over there” I of course mean everywhere that isn’t the United States, ahem). It’s Friday, and that means July 4th, but more importantly, that means another completely random, but totally hot, posting of Krystal Forscutt.
Kelly Ripa Bikini Pictures from Hamptons Magazine
Will there ever come a time when I don’t stand at attention for a Kelly Ripa bikini picture? Um, probably not. Sure, eventually she’s going to get up there in age, but like us normal mortals, I’m not sure if age is going to keep Kelly Ripa from looking this awesomely awesome in a bikini spread. This is something she did for Hamptons Magazine, which she has done previously. No idea if this is a new issue, or an old one, or somewhere in-between, and frankly, I could care less. It’s Kelly Ripa, the bubbly queen of talk shows, showing off what God gave her and way too many hours in the gym turned into a nice, fine looking package. Cripes, Kelly Ripa is awesome hot.
Vida Guerra’s Front Side Looks Just as Good as her Back Side
When you tell a woman that she has a big, juicy ass, she’s liable to deck you across the chopper. You say the same thing to Vida Guerra, and she’d probably thank you, then head over to her bank and withdraw another couple of grand to buy some chocolate. (I hear girls like chocolate, but then again, I’ve been told lots.) There’s really no actual content to these pictures of Vida Guerra, except that she’s a nice girl to look at, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having junk in the trunk, especially when the trunk is this inviting. Me likey!
Minka Kelly is so Sweet my Teeth Hurt
Even if NBC’s Friday Night Lights go off the air and never come back (will it return for Season 3? your guess is as good as mine, by which I mean, I have no idea, stop asking me, what am I, your one-stop for all-knowing news?), we can at least thank it for introducing the world to the wonderfully cute Minka Kelly. There’s this nice, Emmanuelle Chrique quality about Minka that comes through in every photo she takes. The girl just looks sweeter than sugar, let’s put it that way, and if she turns out to be a beeyatch in real life, it would surprised me more than when as it turns out Rosie O’Donnell really didn’t have a crush on Tom Cruise. (Man, who saw that coming? I, like, totally believed she was horndog for Tommy.)
Myspace Sensation Colbie Caillat
You know, I must not go to Myspace all that often, because when American singer Colbie Caillat was blowing up on all over the site, I didn’t even know about it until now. And now, as they say, it’s kind of too late to get in on the action, as Colbie Caillat has gone on to release a full studio album and is no longer the “greatest unsign singer in the whole wide world” who first started life on Myspace with her hit song “Bubbly” (music video below). And to be sure, the little lady’s got a great voice, and considering how she “hit it big”, you get the feeling she’s going to last for a while. Or if not, well, there’s always Facebook, right?
Sports Babe of the Day: Melina Perez
Let’s face it, if you don’t think the WWE Divas are actual athletes, you’ve never seen a wrestling show. The things they make these girls do for the sake of entertaining your toothless next door neighbor, you wouldn’t believe. And yes, those muscles they’re sporting? Those probably helps to battle away the pain, because these ladies bring the pain, indeedy. So here’s Melina Perez, one of the WWE Divas. I don’t know why they call them divas, but you know, you don’t want to start arguing with these ladies, especially when they come at you. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all…
Water is Good for Emma Rigby
The Brit’s Hollyoaks TV show might just be the single biggest source of British babes in the existence of the UK. If not, then it’s a pretty damn close second, or third, or third and a half. Another gem from the show is Emma Rigby, who plays Hannah Ashworth on the show. The role has done well for her, and she’s nabbed hardware for Best Actress at the British Soap Awards in 2008 after being nominated (but not winning) in 2007. And oh yeah, aside from all that boring bio stuff, she looks pretty good when you pour water (preferably cold water) on her and she slips on a swimsuit for modeling gigs. Me likey.
Anna Faris is the House Bunny
Here’s the plot of “The House Bunny”: “When Shelly, a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Alpha Zeta. The members of the sorority - who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet - are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide… but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves.” Anna Faris plays Shelly, the ex-Playboy bunny. The flick also co-stars Katharine McPhee of American Idol fame. But it’s basically Anna Faris covered in pink stuff running around the movie with the skimpiest of pink stuff on. Some promos from the movie below.
Random Foreign Babe of the Day: Elise van der Horst
Our Random Foreign Babe of the Day is Dutch singer Elise van der Horst, otherwise known as EliZe to fans of her singing and guys who hide out in the bush outside her apartment flat. They, of course, have no idea she’s a singer, just that she looks bloody good doing that whole “looking good” stuff. What, you’ve never heard of EliZe or any of her songs, including her #1 hit “Automatic” aka “I’m Talking to You”, which was so good it hit #7 at the Netherlands, which is, like, #6 in the States or sumthin’. Personally I had expected her third single “I’m No Latino” to do better than peaking at #14 on the Dutch Top 40, but go figure. A video for EliZe’s “Automatic” below. It’s dance-a-rific.
Is Marley Shelton the new Scully?
Blonde goddess Marley Shelton must have really liked the script for the new TV show The Eleventh Hour to have put a thriving movie career on pause to take a shot at a regular living on the small screen. So is Marley Shelton the latest incarnation of Dana Scully from The X-Files, a title originally held by Gillian Anderson? Who knows, but she could very well be, although the 2008 TV season is full of potential Scully contenders. Marley Shelton is definitely one, and she’s even playing a fed to boot, and her show is sci-fi-based, just like the X-Files. But hey, never mind that. On a purely superficial basis, Marley Shelton is just awesome attractive.
More Down Under Goodness with Jodi Gordon
We’ve posted some of Australian beaut Jodi Gordon before, but as I like to remind people, if it was good enough to do it once, it’s good enough a second time. And hey, the last time I posted Jodi Gordon, she was sharing the post with another Aussie babe, and really, when you look this good, shouldn’t you have a post all to your own hot little self? I think so. See? Who says I don’t cater to the readers out there? So, um, what about Jodi? Well, the most notable is that she plays Martha MacKenzie on the long-running Aussie soap Home & Away, which I hear is all about home … and away. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Please to enjoy.
Michelle Hunziker is a Red Bikini Wearing Babe
Pictures of Michelle Hunziker in a bikini is nothing new. After all, when you’re this hot (naturally or not, does it matter? hotness is hotness), and as such you’d want to hit the beach as often as you can, and if a dozen or so paparazzi happens to show up to snap some pictures of you looking all kinds of good in your chosen choice of bikini, then who is getting hurt? Exactly. It’s the same explanation I use whenever my girlfriend catches me with her best friend, and the best friend just happens to be laying on the floor on her stomach, her ankles hog-tied behind her back because that’s just how she likes it, and me likeys to please the ladies. But I digress. Michelle Hunziker in bikini. HOT.
Random Babe of the Day: Herika Noronha
Our Random Babe of the Day is Herika Noronha, who is, like, a model of lingerie. From Brazil. And what a mighty fine looking Brazilian she is, too. I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a supermodel — in fact, I wouldn’t call her that at all, but clearly the lady has the makings of one. A-plus face, nice eyes, and a great bod. The kind of bod men have been known to punch each other in the face for, and when we’re all drunk, kick each other in the balls from behind for. (What? Am I the only one who does that? Whatever, guys.) Anyhoo. Here’s Herika Noronha. She’s hot. She’s Brazilian. And she’s today’s random babe.
