Archive for July, 2006
Mothers Should All Look as Good as Heidi Klum
How Heidi Klum keeps getting knocked up and coming back stronger and hotter than ever, I’ll never know. Maybe it’s her perfect German genes (the Master Race and all that jazz), or maybe Seal juice is good for you. If you’re a woman, I mean. Ahem. Regardless, here’s Heidi Klum in the latest issue of Jane Magazine, looking insanely good. You can practically hear what women everywhere are saying: “Oh come on, that’s just not fair!” Sorry, girls.
Miss Japan Kurara Chibana
Miss Japan 2006 Kurara Chibana didn’t win the Miss Universe patient (that honor went to some chick who fainted soon afterwards, which is totally lame), but she should have won, if just for wearing that friggin awesome Samurai-inspired outfit as part of the competition. Now that’s just cool, man. What did Miss Puerto Rico (who eventually won the tourney) wear? Some metal dress. Big whoopie-do. Give me a Samurai hottie anyday.
Iron Man Movie Poster Hits
The other day I was just thinking to myself, “With all the crisis in the Middle East and world terrorism and whatnot, what we need is a boozing, womanizing superhero that can shoot beams out of his palms.” Seems like Marvel was listening, because they’re set to launch “Iron Man” to the big screen sometime May 2008 with director Jon Favreau (”Zathura”) at the helm. Of course it’s way too early to guess who is gonna be suiting up as perennial AA member Tony Stark aka Iron Man, but I got money on someone tall, dark, and unknown. And of course with a goatee. Stark has had a goatee for as long as I can remember in the comics. Check out the “prototype” poster for the upcoming flick that appeared at the recent Comic Con in San Dieago below.
Molly Sims Bikini Pictures
I’m not really sure if this is such a big deal, as former supermodel turned actress turned occassional Sports Illustrated supermodel Molly Sims has made a living out of wearing two-piece bikinis, so what’s the big whoop of spotting her on the beach doing likewise? Well, for one, it’s tall drink of blonde water Molly Sims, and for second, she’s in a bikini. Sounds about right to me.
Scarlett Johansson has Scoopage
Fresh from signing on the dotted line with shoe company Reebok to design and shill for their product, Scarlett Johansson ran off to the premiere of her new movie “Scoop”, her second movie with the Woodster himself, who seems to have found himself a new young female muse. Uh oh, better watch your back, Scarlett. If Woody tries to adopt you, run! But I digress. Talk about scoopage. That’s definitely what Scarlett is showing off here. Mama mia.
‘NSync’s Space Boy Lance Bass is Gay. No, Really.
According to People.com, former popper ‘NSync, whose band rose to fame on the strength of some incredibly lame boy band trend in the late ’90s and a few years after the millennium, is coming out that he is, in fact, gay. Now I don’t really care if Lance is gay or not, but I just want to say this: Man, is Will Sasso’s imitation of Lance on MadTV friggin awesome or what? But where were we? Oh right, Lance Bass is gay.
Bar Rafaeli aka Leonardo DiCaprio’s Supermodel Girlfriend #556
In this week’s very special episode of, “Who is Leonardo DiCaprio shtupping now,” we are introduced to one Bar Rafaeli (or Bar Refaeli, depending on who you ask), an Israeli supermodel/actress, and the latest leggy Victoria’s Secret supermodel too young to know that Leo is gonna hit that ass until he gets tired and moves on to the next leggy Victoria’s Secret supermodel to cross paths with his crotch. (Oh, to be Leo for 5 minutes…) And here’s some trivia: Bar Rafaeli is named after a bar called Rafaeli. True story. (Well actually no, that’s not a true story. But I digress.)
Gratuitous Halle Berry Posting
In absense of any actual news or worthwhile hot celebrities to post pictures of, here’s Halle Berry walking her puppies. Yup, she has two white puppies, and looks none to please when the paparazzi spots her. I don’t know why. She’s looking quite gorgeous. It must be nice to be so hot all the time without trying. Damn celebrities and their perfect genes…
Some Rachel Bilson and Melinda Clarke
Some pictures of Rachel Bilson, if only because it’s been a while since I’ve posted any of the perky “OC” brunette, who has since taken over the reign of resident sexpot on the FOX show from the dearly departed Mischa Barton. Here’s Rachel at the FOX Summer TCA party. joining fellow OC babe Melinda Clarke, the reigning MILF sexpot on the show.
Hollywood Babes Agree that “John Tucker Must Die”
Hot Hollywood babes agree — they must all attend the premiere of “John Tucker Must Die”! (I’m tellin’ ya, kids, this stuff just rights itself!) The movie is a comedy about some guy named John Tucker who, urm, must die. Or somethin’. Anyhoo, the hotties joining the fray includes the film’s stars Arielle Kebbel, Brittany Snow, and singer-turned-actress Ashanti. And just for the heck of it, “Desperate Housewives’” Eva Longoria joined the fun to show the kids how it’s done. And go see “John Tucker”. Or don’t. See if I care.
Attack of the Blonde Natalie Portman Clones
After getting caught on the street by the paparazzi in Buenos Aires, a newly blonde Natalie Portman lumbered toward the camera, delicate fingers first, as if to attack. Well at least she’s let her hair grown back and is no longer looking like a midget transexual 12-year old boy. That’s something, at least. Although I’m not sure if Natalie has learned the proper ways to attack the paparazzi. You can’t wade into them with a limp wrist, baby! You gotta go in swinging like Sean Penn! Oh, Natalie. Didn’t shooting “V for Vendetta” teach you anything? (By the way, who is that guy in the background, and why does he look so gosh darn befuddled by what’s happening?)
Rachel Hunter Bikini Pictures
Former supermodel, famous singer’s wife, and B-movie actress (”Larva”, anyone?) Rachel Hunter continues her road to uber MILFhood with another splashing display on the island of Barbados, the vacation spot of choice for famous hardbodied hotties. I see thong thong thong thong! (By the way, whatever happened to Sisqo? Didn’t that guy used to be really famous?) But I digress. Here’s more Rachel Hunter bikini pictures for you to ogle.
New Babe Alert: Vanessa Ferlito
Vanessa Ferlito would probably be a household name by now if she hadn’t keep getting killed. Off TV shows, that is. She was Jack Bauer’s former girlfriend in Season 3 of “24″, but took a bullet trying to escape. Then she was a cop in “CSI: New York”, before runinng afoul of a rapist and getting bumped off. Now she’s in the Cuba Gooding Jr. hitman movie “Shadowboxer”, where if precedence holds, she’ll also get bumped off early in the flick. Hey, it’s tough being a hot Italian chick. Vanessa Ferlito would be a hell of a lot more famous today if she could keep a friggin job for longer than a few months. Here she is at the premiere of “Shadowboxer”, which stars Gooding Jr. as a hitman who has sex with a 61 year old Helen Mirren. shiver
Even More Lindsay Lohan Barely Dressed
Still demanding more Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures? Well you’re in luck, because if there’s one thing the hoarse teen tart loves to do, it’s give the camera more pictures of herself almost, but never quite, nude. Thank God for good-girls-gone-bad Hollywood actresses! Here’s the Double L (like that? made it up myself) at “Entourage” star Jeremy Piven’s birthday doing a little posin’ in some hideously colored bikinis, underoos, bra, and various clothing. You mind as well rent out some space for this girl at the trendy Hollywood rehab center of your choosing now, cause she’s gonna need it in a few short months.
More Jessica Simpson Bikini Pictures
There’s something not quite right about Jessica Simpson. I think we can all agree to that, can’t we? Even fans of hers? Some people have a certain something about them that makes them stand out from the crowd; Jess has that certain something that makes people think, “Man, there’s something not right about that girl.” Case in point, these pictures of Jessica Simpson in a bikini down South in Cabo. Tell me this girl doesn’t wake up every morning wondering what her name is…
Minty Kat Shoob in Maxim Magazine
Katherine Elizabeth Shoob, aka Kat, can be seen on Brit TV’s “The Mint”, which she co-hosts alongside limey Brian Dowling, who is unimportant to this particular discussion. “The Mint” is a live, late night, interactive quiz show with celebrity guests and live studio contestants. But then again, that’s also irrelevant to this discussion, which is simply about how hot Kat looks in the pages of Maxim Magazine. You’ll never see Bob Barker doing this.
Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures
Hooray! More Jessica Alba bikini pictures, where Jessica Alba shows almost nothing. Which is a crying shame, as if there is one Hollywood starlet destined for movies set on beaches with the cast wearing very little, it would be Jessica Alba. (”Into the Blue”, anyone?) Plus, check out the cap. There’s nothing like going to a beach in Vancouver incognito than wearing a funky cap. I mean, doesn’t everyone wear caps on the beach? Or wrap their lower body up with a dirty old blanket? I’m sure she didn’t attract any attention at all. Wacky Hollywood folks.
Miss Puerto Rico Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza Takes Miss Universe Crown
Speaking of the Miss Universe pageant, by the way, the winner is Miss Puerto Rico Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, who, rumor has it, promptly fainted moments after being crowned. If you want my opinion, I think she saw Donald Trump and freaked out. But anyways, “Zuleyka”? Sounds awfully Russian to be. But I digress. This is the second time Miss Puerto Rico has captured the crown since “Freddie” actress and former beauty pageant babe Denise Quinones did it in 2001. The runner up was Miss Japan Kuara Chibana. Personally, I think the metal chain as dress gag did it for Miss Puerto Rico. Isn’t that like, cheating or something?
Alice Panikian Miss Canada 2006
Having exploited — er, I mean, revealed — Miss USA Tara Conner, it was only fair to see what the rest of the world have to offer. First up is Alice Panikian, aka Miss Canada for 2006. Now you’ll forgive me for thinking Canada has only two things to offer, good comedians and bad actors, since, well, they’re Canada, and whoever really thinks about Canada except Canadians? (Let me take this opportunity to apologize to all Canadians for my insensitve remarks. Ahem.) Miss Canada doesn’t quite have the abs of Miss USA, but she ain’t bad, kids.
Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy Teases Geeks
Nerds and geeks alike got a taste of Hollywood earlier this week when not one, but two hotties from the set of “Spiderman 3″ paid them a visit at the 2006 Comic Con in San Diego. Redhead hottie Mary Jane Watson herself (played by a blonde Kirsten Dunst) and blondie Gwen Stacy (played by a redhead Bryce Dallas Howard) both attended, giving dorks who have never been laid a double dose of wet dream ammunition. Note: I had no idea Bryce Dallas Howard had such striking eyes. She easily overwhelms the kinda plain looking Kirsten Dunst when the two are in the same photo.