Archive for August, 2006
Paris Hilton, Like, Makes Us Cry in Blender
Paris Hilton, like, makes herself cry whenever she listens to her debut album, “Paris”, because, like, it’s so dang good. No, I shit you not. That’s what the PR fiend said in the latest issue of Blender Magazine, where she apparently found the time to post half naked in in-between Best Buy, malls, and slutty sorority house appearances to promote the album in question. (Okay, so she hasn’t shown up at any slutty sorority houses, but you know it’s only a matter of time.) Here’s Paris in Blender Magazine.
Jenna Dewan at the Teen Choice Awards
Newly minted movie star Jenna Dewan, once only known to bad horror movie lovers as a dead nerd come back to life as a super hot witch in “Tamara”, was one of many hotties attending the 2006 Teen Choice Awards. (I still have no idea what they’re giving awards out for, not that it matters; it’s a bunch of teens, so how important could it be, really?) In any case, if you don’t already know, lovely Jenna Dewan is the star of the surprise (as in, nobody saw it coming) hit “Step Up”, about how the power of ballet can stop world hunger or some such.
Christina Ricci Has Ugly Tattoos
Christina Ricci is pretty and all (in a babyfaced, kinda mildly taboo sort of way — she still looks 15 no matter how old she gets), but she should really lay off the tattoos. I mean, okay, so you want to get one of those generic tattoos on your tailbone, that’s all fine and well, but when you start tattooing people’s names in cursive on your ribcage… Man, that’s just wrong. Here’s Christina on the beach in a red bikini walking her dog showing off some hideous tattoos.
Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pictures in Blender Magazine
Operating under the motto that if it works once, then we should try it again, Kristin Cavallari returns to the pages of Blender Magazine, and all is right with the world. Or at least, they can’t get any worst with hottie Kristin Cavallari in a two-piece bikini pictorial spread. Oh sure, you can have your Mideast Peace and an end to global warming and famine and all that junk, but I’ll take my Kristin Cavallari in a bikini any day. (Okay, so maybe I’ll trade Kristin in a bikini for some world peace. Don’t hold me to it!)
Haley Joel Osment Faces Jail Term for Marijuana and DUI
Oh, Haley Joel. How could you possibly go from being nominated for an Oscar before you can even spell “Oscar” to facing 6 months of jail time for drunk driving and marijuana possession? Of course he wouldn’t have gotten into this mess if he hadn’t crashed his car into an L.A. suburbs on July 20th, breaking his ribs in the process…
Rachel Bilson “The Last Kiss” Images
Some images of an ultra cute Rachel Bilson from her new movie “The Last Kiss”. The film is Tony Goldwyn and is about: “Anxieties threaten the future of a domesticated couple”, whatever the hell that means. From these pictures, I’m guessing that Rachel Bilson plays a really cute high school or college school girl who entices the male half of the “domesticated couple”, since he’s probably played by (the immensely and annoyingly overrated wanker) Zach Braff. I mean, I guess they could make Rachel his daughter, but that would be, you know, stupid.
Even More Fetching Cote De Pablo
I don’t know what is it about Cote De Pablo that is just so gosh darn enticing. Maybe it’s those dark eyes; or the fact that she plays a killer Mossad agent on “NCIS” who can’t get her American slangs right; or maybe it’s because she’s just really mysterious looking. Then again, it could just be that her name is “Cote”, which in Spanish means “inexplicably hot”. Not really, since I don’t really know Spanish, I just play one who does on the Internet.
Hilary Duff Shows (Very Pale) Legs
It started with black eye mascara, then she showed up somewhere without any bra on, and then bam — two pairs of long legs for all the world to see. The next thing you know, former teeny bopper (or is she still one?) Hilary Duff will be showing up in FHM or Maxim getting her “I’m a big girl now” groove on. Then again, maybe that’s just wishful thinking on our part. But in any case, here’s Hilary Duff somewhere looking pretty good and showing off a ton of legs. Yes, they are unfathomably white and pale legs, but hey, celebrity legs are better than yours and mine, so, er, uhm… What was I saying? Right. Hilary Duff is showing off legs, and I’m pretty sure that’s a see-through shirt with no signs of a bra underneath…
Brit Babe Invasion: Alex Best
I know nothing of Alex Best except that she looks fantastic in a two-piece bikini, so here, I’ll let Wikipedia tell you all about her: Alex Best (born Alex Pursey January 29th, 1972) is a former air hostess, model and ex-wife of George Best, who was her senior by 26 years. She married Best in 1995. In 2004 she appeared in I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! and in the same year she won the title of Rear of the Year. Alex owns the ‘SW19′ bar in Wimbledon, and has been lined up as a contestant on new reality TV show FW Boutique. Got it? Good.
Hollywood Babes Love the 2006 Teen Choice Awards
Hot hollywood babes love teens. Just ask Demi Moore. So when there’s an Awards show where teens get to pick the winners (never you mind what for, just go with it), the Hollywood babes will of course attend. Out and about this weekend for such an occassion was Kirstin Cavallari, a newly single Carmen Electra, someone name Ashley Tisdale, Ashley Olsen (minus Mary-Kate — gasp!), Jessica Simpson, and reigning “OC” babe Rachel Bilson. What, no special appearance by Hilary Duff? I’m so disillusioned.
Jeri Ryan is Smoking Hot in Pink
I’m not sure where Jeri Ryan is in these pictures, and to be honest with you, I could give a flying fig. She’s super hot. As in, she’s so super hot here that if she was still a Borg I would let her assimilate me but good. As in, she’s so super hot here that if she was a lawyer and she didn’t even go to law school and couldn’t read I’d still let her defend me against multiple murder charges. As in, she’s so super hot I’m definitely tuning in to watch her new show on CBS called “Sharks” with James Wood. Yup, Jeri Ryan is smoking hot in pink. (And people say I’m shallow. Wha-EV.)
Sunday Treat: Nell McAndrew
Nell McAndrew won “Rear of the Year” Award in 2005, which is right up there with the Oscars. Or, maybe not. Maybe I’m thinking about the Emmys. No, still a little too high. Golden Globes? Grammys? Hmm… Maybe a Source award, minus all the shooting and stabbing and gratuitous P. Diddy song sampling (what you would call a “performance”). But I digress. Nell McAndrew is really, really hot, is also a former Lara Croft model before getting booted from the job after posing in Playboy, and she’s, um, really hot. Need I say more?
Didn’t Liv Tyler Used to be Hot?
Or at the very least, not bloated? Remember in “Lord of the Rings” when she was the hottest elf to ever walk Middle Earth? Or that scene in “Armageddon” when Ben Affleck was playing with her flat tummy as her father’s music played in the background, eliciting weird feelings in all of us? Well kiss all those precious moments goodbye, kids, because Liv Tyler is no longer the same. Now some of you may call what she’s displaying “womanly curves”, but, well, Aragorn and I are so disappointed. Time to hit the gym, Arwen!
Cote de Pablo is Fetching
Some quick and run shots of the lovely and fetching Cote de Pablo, a Chilean who plays an Israeli ex-Mossad agent on the CBS show “NCIS”, at the 21st Annual Imagen Awards. Now you may be asking yourself: How does a Latina end up playing an Israeli on TV? Well, it’s TV, and if Ted Danson can continue to keep playing a playboy atage 90, why can’t Cote de Pablo play an Israeli? Damn right. And as we like to say here, hot chicks can do whatever they want. It’s, like, our motto or somethin’.
Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures
Just the other way, while seeing pictures of Kate Beckinsale at LAX with her daughter Lilly, I was wondering where the two had come from. Well now I know — straight from Cabo San Lucas, where mother and daughter were taking in a little swim, with Kate Beckinsale in a two-piece black bikini. Curiously, there is no sign of husband Len Wiseman, either here or in the LAX photos. Hmm, I smell impending divorce, or at least marital difficulties… Then again, it could just be wishful thinking because, you know, I absolutely have a shot at Kate Beckinsale if she ever becomes single again. Seriously.
Eva Longoria in Maxim Magazine
The interior pictures of Eva Longoria’s latest appearance in Maxim Magazine is here, and as expected, it’s friggin’ hot. Then again, maybe it’s just the woman — she is naturally friggin hot. I bet when she was born doctors had to slap her dad because she was so hot. Then they had to throw her around the delivery room because she was so hot they couldn’t hold her for longer than two seconds without being scolded by her hotness. That’s how hot Eva Longoria is. Dang.
Kelly Clarkson Pulls a Mel Gibson, Gets Drunk Off her Ass at a Concert
So how drunk is Kelly Clarkson in these pictures? Dunno, but she looks pretty sloshed to me. Plus, why is an American Idol winner attending a heavy metal band on the Sunset Strip? There is just something so wrong about that statement I don’t know where to begin. In any case, here’s Kelly Clarkson, grabbing a bottle of Chivas Regal by the neck and apparently acting the fool onstage and offstage at someone else’s concert. The pictures make it look like she was really wasted, but the video apparently isn’t all that bad. Eh, you decide.
Paris Hilton is “The World’s Most Overrated Person”
According to RealityTVWorld.com, hotel heiress and untalented PR whore Paris Hilton will reportedly appear in the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records with the unenviable title of “The World’s Most Overrated Person”. No word on which record Paris’ upcoming debut album, “Paris”, will be bestowed with, but we’re guessing, “The Only Album Less Anticipated Than Kevin Federline’s” is a strong possibility.
Hollywood Babes Love Snakes on a Plane
The greatest movie nobody has ever seen, “Snakes on a Plane”, opens today, and the Hollywood babes are out in force to attend the premiere. Battling with snakes, Samuel L. Jackson, and a horde of Internet fanboys for a seat were: Annabella Sciorra, Carla Gugino, Elsa Pataky, Sunny Mabrey, Rachel Blanchard, Julianna Margulies, and of course, though he’s no babe, he’s definitely a motherphuckin’ badass, Samuel L. Jackson. (Curiously, there weren’t any live snakes at the premiere; but then again, I’m sure they ushered all the agents in first because, frankly, agents, like snakes, scare children.)
Your Daily Dose of Anna Kournikova
Anna Kournikova does something in Berlin. I have no idea what that is (looks like something golf-related), and I don’t really care. It’s Anna. It’s the original Russian hotness. It’s good. Drink it in, boys, that’s Russian heat right there. Oh sure, so she doesn’t even play tennis anymore, and her reason for fame no longer seems to have an identifiable aspect, but then again, that’s never stopped Paris Hilton or Kristin Cavallari.