Archive for October, 2007
One Reason to Watch Gossip Girl: Blake Lively
There’s nothing that’s so wrong about a teen-centric TV show that putting a pretty girl like Blake Lively in a Catholic school girl’s uniform can’t save. Blake Lively is one of the stars of the CW’s Gossip Girl, which is about, quote, “Privileged teenagers attend an elite private school in New York City. Based on Alloy Entertainment’s book series.” Basically, it’s 90210 Prep, with all the teen angst crap that teens nowadays think the whole world revolves around. But I digress. If you absolutely have to watch this show, pretend you’re watching it for Blake Lively and her plead skirt. After all, it’s a proven fact that there’s just nothing hotter than a gorgeous blonde playing a teenager in a bad high school TV show.
Randy Johnson Kills a Bird with a Fast Ball
Major League Baseball picture Randy Johnson is a baaaaaaaaaad man. He’s a towering inferno (hey, they don’t call the guy “The Big Unit” because he drives a big car, you know), and he pitches 100 miles per hour on a bad day. And to complete that great resume? The guy can nail a bird at 95 miles per hour. No, really. Here’s that infamous video of Randy Johnson on the mound, pitching, when a poor bird flies right across the plate and — BOOM!!! White bird feathers everywhere as Johnson’s fastball nails the sucker and literally EXPLODES the animal. It’s either the greatest baseball pitch in history, or the most sad, depending on how you feel about, well, taking out birds with a baseball. You decide.
Italian Spice with Leila Ben Khalifa
According to the spicy Italian Leila Ben Khalifa’s Myspace page, her interests include ethnic music, pop and dance, and oh yeah, sexy music that makes your body move. All in that order. Me, personally, I prefer sexy book that can make my fingers move, because, you know, my fingers don’t move all that fast when I’m reading a book that isn’t all that sexy. Especially if the book is by Stephen King, who as we all know, can’t write a sexy book to save his life. Unless, of course, those books include haunted cars and evil clowns. Damn those evil clowns. Wait, where was I? Oh right, Leila Ben Khalifa is extremely sexy, and the fact that she doesn’t want kids? (Also according to her Myspace page.) That basically makes her my perfect woman. Come to daddy!
Tricia Helfer at Spike TV’s Scream 2007 Awards
Boy, is Tricia Helfer curvaceous, or is Tricia Helfer curvaceous? Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Tricia Helfer being very curvaceous. The Battlestar Galactica star was recently at Spike TV’s Scream 2007 shindig. I’m still not sure what the heck the show was about — is it a movie awards show? A music awards show? A Guys awards show? Eh, who cares, as long as they pack in the babes like Tricia Helfer, Megan Fox, and on and on and on. Now THAT’s an awards show I’d like to attend. Hmm, speaking of which, I can’t believe Spike TV lost my invitation in the mail again. Man, I really gotta get a P.O. Box or something…
Hana Soukupova is Gone Baby Gone
Ben Affleck’s directorial debut “Gone Baby Gone” may have gotten abducted at the box office (get it? “abducted”? Because the movie is about a baby that gets abducted? Oh, I kill me), but as long as he has leggy supermodels like Hana Soukupova, who hails from Czech thereaways, attending his movie premiere, what’s he got to complain about? Oh sure, I know Ben’s technically married to Jennifer Garner (but come on, we all know that isn’t a real marriage), but what’s to stop him from hitting up on some of this? And at his own movie premiere? I tell you, why any of these Hollywood superstars would get married while they’re in their prime is beyond me. George Clooney knows better.
Hilary Duff Brings her Legs to the Latin MTV Awards
Not content to just wow men everywhere with her glorious legs in the U.S., former teen pop starlet turned all grown up sex symbol Hilary Duff took her legs and her sparkling smile to Latin America for the MTV Latin American Music Awards. I hear tell the big winner at the Awards show was Smash Mouth, as usual. I mean, come on, who doesn’t like Smash Mouth? What’s their hit song again? Oh right. “You’re an all star, you have star, you’re all that, and something, something…” Okay, so I don’t know how it really goes, but I guarantee you, it’s a good song. I mean, it won awards and stuff. Smash Mouth rules! But I digress.
Gaby Espino Returns
Why another post on Latin hottie Gaby Espino? Because I never miss her telenovela Sin Vergüenza (aka Shameless to those of you who don’t habla espnaol) on Telemundo. Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you that I love me my telenovelas. Why, I love them so much I even spent a few minutes finding out what the heck “telenovelas” mean. And according to my research, it means TV movies about novels. No, really, I’m sure that’s what it means, but don’t take my word for it. Besides all that, Gaby Espino is really, really hot, and has such nice curves its hard not to watch her when she pops on TV. You know, in Shameless, the Telemundo program I never miss. No, really, ask anyone.
Robot Chicken Does 300 aka 1776
Everybody and their momma has done a parody of the “300″ movie trailer once or twice or 100 times or so, so it’s no surprise that the guys over at Cartoon Network’s Robot Chicken finally got around to it. But of course, this being Robot Chicken, their parody is a lot funnier than pretty much everyone else’s in my opinion. If you’ve never seen Robot Chicken, it’s a bunch of sketches using puppets and action figures, and about 99% of the voice work is done by Seth Green, that guy from the Austin Powers movies. Green was also a star on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and plays Chris on Family Guy. He’s one funny dude, and Robot Chicken is killer comedy. Here’s their parody of 300 — 1776! I only have one thing to say: “This … is … AMERICA!”
FURB it with Nicole “Frankee” Aiello
So I had no idea who Nicole Francine Aiello aka Frankee was until I stumbled across her music video for her hit single “FURB” (F— You Right Back) on YouTube, but after some Googling (I’m famous for my fast Googling, I should say — I mean, world famous, and by “world” I of course mean my basement), I’ve found out more about the deliciously sexy Ms Frankee, and what I’ve found I’ve liked. A lot. Besides doing the hip-hop/R&B thing, she’s also a model of some note, having appeared in the likes of FHM, Men’s Edge, OK! Magazine, and Cosmo Girl. She’s got what the kids call a rockin’ body, and isn’t afraid to use it, and all of her, to get her places. Now that’s our kind of girl!
What’s The OC’s Willa Holland Been Up to?
If you’re like me, a day doesn’t go by that you don’t wake up and wonder to yourself, “Gee, what have the girls of The OC been up to lately since their show got canceled?” Well okay, if you’re like me, you don’t really consider that until you seen an old episode of the show, spot someone of note, and wonder where they’ve gone off to. One such individual is Willa Holland, who plays Kaitlin Cooper, the young but shady little sister of Mischa Barton’s Marissa Cooper character on the show’s final two seasons. Since the show ended, Willa has been doing movie work, including the 2008 film “Chasing 3000″, “Garden Party”, and “Middle of Nowhere”. As you can see, being on The OC sure didn’t hurt her career.
Brit Babe Invasion: Gemma Merna
Is our Brit Babe Invasion of the day, Gemma Merna, the next big thing to come out of the UK? Maybe, but probably not, although that won’t stop us from pretending she is, anyway, because frankly, when a woman looks this bloody good in lingerie, she deserves some wild exultations that have no basis in reality. In any case, Gemma Merna is yet another product of the Hollyoaks TV show from the UK, which has been scientifically proven to produce one out of every three hot babes to come out of England over the last ten years or so. No, really, I read it somewhere or somethin’.
Latin Flavor: Carla Conte
Our Latin Flavor of the Day is Carla Conte, an Argentinian model from down south who looks really good in a two-piece bikini, or basically whatever it is she decides to wear in any given day. Speaking of which, I once had a friend who wanted me to visit Argentina with him, which was a pretty good idea, except he wanted to only pay for half of my plane ticket. Now you’ll understand if I was a little weirded out. I mean, he wants me to go with him, but he only wants to pay for half of my plane ticket? That didn’t make any sense, so I told him so, and he took another of our mutual friend instead. The bastard. Anyways, what this any of that have to do with Carla Conte? Um, nothing. What, does everything have to do with something else? Open your mind, man!
Gisele Bundchen Bikini Pictures
Posting bikini pictures of supermodels like Gisele Bundchen is like posting pictures of Britney Spears showing the world her sha-ka-ka-boom (if you know what I mean). Yeah, sure, it’s nothing new, and we can see it pretty much everywhere, but that still doesn’t mean it’s not kinda exciting to see Britney Spears’ sha-ka-ka-boom (if you know what I mean). But I digress. Here’s Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen doing some down time lounging at the beach in a two-piece bikini. You know, I don’t know if Gisele Bundchen actually eats, and if she does, I have no idea where the food goes, because the woman doesn’t have a single ounce of fat on her. Have I mention how much I hate Tom Brady and his friggin’ perfect life? Oh yeah, can’t forget to put that in there.
Down Under with Nikki Webster
Australian Nikki Webster is a 20-year old pop singer who wants to be taken seriously as an adult, and spreads like this one in Zoo Magazine (pictures below) will certainly help get her there. Or if not, well, it’s good for us anyway, and we’d like to thank the insecurities of pop stars everywhere for their stabs at trashy as soon as they get old enough. Nikki Webster is most known for her hit single “Strawberry Kisses”, which I’m told is about strawberries and, um, kissing. But not strawberries kissing, because that would be weird, since as we all know, strawberries don’t have lips, thus they can’t kiss, right? Well, not in this universe, anyway. I hear it’s different elsewhere…
Random Foreign Babe of the Day: Nightwish’s Anette Olzon
Our Random Foreign Babe of the Day is one Anette Olzon, who sounds and looks a lot like Evanescence’s Amy Lee, but is Swedish and part of the band Nightwish. According to the net, the band’s genre is called “symphonic power metal”, which basically means it’s loud instrumentals fronted by Anette Olzon’s sweet, sweet ass voice. Check out some pictures of Nightwish’s lead singer and a music video for the band’s song Nemo. I think you’ll agree that looking great and sounding great is basically the bonanza, and the two things are not necessarily a mutually synonymous in the world of music.
Random Supermodel of the Day: Michelle Cowley
Who knew the South Africans were producing supermodels nowadays? Well apparently they are. Their latest product is Michelle Cowley, who looks like a cross between Daniella Pestova and, um, someone else. Basically, she’s a supermodel and she was born to look good in a two-piece bikini. Other than that? I have no clue. Here’s Michelle Cowley doing some work for Sports Illustrated. I don’t know if that’s the South African version or just the standard SI version, but if it’s both, I’m definitely buying both copies. That is, if they have different pictures. I mean, damn, I’m not going to buy both versions if they have the same pictures. That would be, like, really nuts or something.
Must-See TV: NBC’s Bionic Woman
I am really digging NBC’s remake of The Bionic Woman. Or, actually, just Bionic Woman, minus the “The” part. I don’t know why, that’s just what the show goes by. Lame, I know, but what’s not lame is the show itself. Michelle Ryan stars as a bartender with no career path who gets side-swipe one day by a woman who just happens to be the former Bionic Woman. Ryan ends up being the next incarnation of the Bionic Woman, and gets to do cool things like beat the crap out of people. The pilot’s best scene features a dual between the former and present bionic woman in the rain. It’s cool stuff. The show is just as cool, and Michelle Ryan, though she didn’t really grow on me in the beginning, is starting to. Of course the fact that she’s hot doesn’t hurt. Great show. I would recommend you give it a shot if you haven’t yet. It could very well be the next Alias.
The Girls of Boston Legal Season 4: Tara Summers, Rhona Mitra, Saffron Burrows
David E. Kelley pissed off a lot of people when he cleaned house on Boston Legal by getting rid of pretty much everyone on the cast whose name wasn’t William Shatner or James Spader. Which meant we will not be able to see Julie Bowen’s lovely face on the tube anymore, thanks to him. But hey, Kelley is quickly climbing out of the hole with some great additions to Boston Legal’s Season 4. He’s got three incredible faces (and legs, oh my, the legs) to add to the cast in Tara Summers, Rhona Mitra, Saffron Burrows. How psyche am I to see Saffron Burrows on the small screen on a regular basis? Oh my, it’s like Christmas and my Birthday all rolled into one! And then you add Rhona Mitra? Holy cow, I love this show!
Latin Flavor: Luli Miller
Our Latin Flavor for today is Luli Miller, who is yet another Brazilian model/actress, so what else is new? I swear, I don’t know what they’re feeding those girls down there, but man, they should keep it up! If only we could get our brilliant scientists together and somehow find a way to use these Brazilian models as a source of power. We could, like, stick one Brazilian into our basement and use her to generate electricity. Think about it: It would be clean and efficient power! All we would have to do is feed her once a day, and every other day, send someone downstairs to snap pictures of her to convince her she was still on a fashion runway. And whenever she walked back and forth on the faux runway, she would be generating power. I’m telling you, it could work! Anyhoo. Luli Miller.
Why isn’t Kathleen Robertson More Famous?
I’m shocked that Canadian actress Kathleen Robertson isn’t more famous. I don’t know why. She should have become more famous than she currently is after that scorching turn in “Scary Movie 2″ — I mean, who could have looked at Kathleen Robertson in that skin-tight leather pants and revealing thong line and not fall immediately in love? Cold hearted fish, that’s who. Even lesbians should have fallen in love with her after that role. But things should look up when Kathleen Robertson has a major role as the villainous in the upcoming Sci Fi Channel mini-series “Tin Man”, one of those contemporary remakes of “The Wizard of Oz”. She plays Azkadellia in the mini-series, so tune in when it comes on, and give the woman her due. Kathleen Robertson should be more famous, dammit!