Archive for October, 2007
Quite Possibly the Unfunniest Trailer for a Comedy I Have Ever Seen
Holy Mother of God. How unfunny is this trailer for the new sports-themed parody comedy “The Comebacks”? I swear to God, shouldn’t trailers for comedies be filled to the brim with all of the movie’s best jokes? So putting that theory into practice, does this then mean that the makers of “The Comebacks” have squeezed the funniest jokes their movie could muster into their trailer? And if that’s the case, does the fact that there is absolutely nothing funny about the trailer make “The Comebacks” then, well, a comedy without any comedy? Jesus H. Christ. How could you go so wrong parodying sports movie cliches? South Park has done a million times better than this in a 20-minute episode!
Heroes’ Deadliest Babe Dania Ramirez
If you’ve been watching the latest season of Heroes, then you know that the latest girl with powers on the show is Dania Ramirez, who plays the extremely dangerous Maya. So who is Maya? She’s a girl who can make people bleed out of her eyes and die. Basically, she’s a really, really dangerous girl, but not the “bad girl” in the sense that she’s evil. Dania Ramirez plays her as very sympathetic and fearful, and I’m dying to see how Maya transforms into something else. A character similar to Dark Phoenix from the X-Men comic books, maybe? Who knows, but it’ll be fun to find out. Here’s some Dania Ramirez to get you excited about Maya’s eventual transformation.
Nicole Scherzinger in Blender Magazine
I liken my current obsession with former Pussycat Dolls leading lady Nicole Scherzinger (now solo artist Nicole Scherzinger) to last year’s obsession with Stacy Keibler. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the tall frame, the long legs, or the hot, sleek body that gets me everytime, but I can’t get enough of Nicole Scherzinger. The latest pictures of Nicole Scherzinger comes courtesy of Blender Magazine, who hosts the statuesque doll on their cover and in their pages in their most recent issue. Go out and grab it now. Trust me, Nicole Scherzinger is worth it. And if not, I think newsstands still sell gum. And you know how good gum is. Yum.
Brit Babe Invasion: Casey Batchelor
Our Brit Babe Invasion for the day is Casey Batchelor, a model from the UK, who I know nothing about, except that she’s very pretty, she has ginorous boobs, and she’s, well, isn’t that all that’s necessary to know? Boobs + looks = fame in the UK. I’m not knocking the UK, of course, since boobs and a nice face will do it just about anywhere and everywhere. Here are some pictures of model Casey Batchelor, including a great music video that stars her and her, um, vast talents. Yes, both of her vast talents, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The video is for a song called Hear Fear by a ban called HENTAIGENE. They sound a lot like Linkin Park, but with more guitar riffs.
Christy Carlson Romano Wants you to Declare Yourself
Christy Carlson Romano, not to be confused with Ray Romano (are they related? I don’t know, although a quick look around Google would solve this problem, but I’m just too bloody lazy), wants you to Declare Yourself this year. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing it involves you and yourself doing some declaring. Maybe it has something to do with voting, too, but hey, that’s way over our heads. In any case, we really like that someone like Christy Carlson Romano, with her great looking self, going around telling us to declare ourselves. I have absolutely no idea what to say in this post, but I just wanted to post some Christy Romano and God bless the ignorant voting public for supply me with this excuse.
Shania Twain in Maxim
See, this is one of those times that, had I been around in 2003, I would have posted this spread by country music goddess Shania Twain in Maxim Magazine. But of course I wasn’t around then, and was probably too busy chasing girls around a college campus somewhere, so I didn’t notice this great spread by the lovely Shania Twain. Anyways, it’s time to remedy my foolishness with this posting. Back in 2003, Shania Twain took some of it off for an appearance in Maxim, quite possibly one of the first for a woman from the world of country western music. And wow, does she look good or what? Let’s hope the rest of country music’s grand ladies follow suit!
Whatever Happened to … Stacy Keibler?
Whatever happened to Stacy Keibler? Remember when Stacy was supposed to be the next big thing? Or was that all in our imagination? No, I’m pretty sure she was riding pretty hot just a year ago, with a stint on Dancing with the Stars and various appearances in men’s magazines that burned through the eyes of men everywhere they were so bloody hot. She did some TV shows (What About Brian, George Lopez), but that big movie career never really happened as we all expected. Then again, maybe we just had too high of an expectations for Stacy Keibler. She can finally be seen in the awful looking parody movie “The Comebacks”, playing “All-American Mom”. Not exactly superstar stuff, to be sure, but a gal’s gotta start somewhere, right?
Get Some KT Tunstall
It’s not everyday I hear a song on the radio and then run to the net to Google the singer. Well I did hear a song that was so good I had to find out who the singer was. Her name is KT Tunstall, a Scottish singler/songwriter and, yes, she actually knows how to play instruments. I know, what a novelty, right? The girl can do it all, and she’s got a pretty incredible voice to boot. In 2007, the Grammys nominated her for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for her song “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree, but she lost to that howling coyote Christina Aguilera, who hasn’t sang a decent song since she convinced herself people wants to hear her screech like a rabid dog in every single song. Another good thing about Tunstall? She’s really outspoken and has a tendency to piss people off! Check out pictures and a video of Tunstall.
Jorja Fox Quits CSI, Says Goodbye to Creepy TV Romance
Apparently tired of having her sweet young thing character roped into creepy romance with her 70-year old co-star (I think he’s 70, or is it more like 60?), actress Jorja Fox has called it quits and is leaving the original CSI TV show. Says Fox about her decision to leave: “There are all these things I want to do. Some are personal. Some are professional. And I really need to do some of them before I get too old.” You know, like not having to fake chemistry with an old guy on a TV show. I know how she feels. The last time I had to fake chemistry with an old guy, it wasn’t pleasant. But perhaps I’ve said too much. Fox will appear on the show for five episodes this season, and then it’s see ya.
Fernanda Lima Wants to be a Bond Girl
Brazilian model, actress, and former Brazil MTV VJ Fernanda Lima has mentioned on her blog that she recently auditioned for a role in the upcoming Bond 22 movie, most likely playing a really hot Brazilian girl who James Bond meets and a minute later is doing the horizontal mambo with. Or in this case, the vertical salsa. You know, because that’s how James Bond likes to roll. No idea if she got the role or not, but hey, the Bond producers could do worst than hire her. The girl is certainly hot enough, and if the Bond movies are known for one thing, it’s their amazing display of eye candy. Check out a video of Fernanda Lima. This girl looks smoking in her pictures, but she actually looks even better moving around in video form!
Brit Babe Invasion: Sarah Smart
Here’s the thing, I don’t know anything about Sarah Smart, but oh man, is her entry in Wikipedia really, really great. Here, I’ll let you read it for yourself: “Her career started as a child, notably in the television series Woof! She is best known for a series of well-regarded television roles including Virginia Braithwaite, lesbian daughter of a lottery winning family in the comedy drama At Home with the Braithwaites , Sparkhouse and Jane Hall marked a fruitful link between Smart and television writer Sally Wainwright. Smart has also appeared successfully on radio. The notorious 16th century woman pirate Grace O’Malley, or Granuiale as she was known in Ireland, is Sarah’s great, great, great, great grandmother. Sarah once portrayed her infamous ancestor during a St Patrick’s Day Parade in 2001.” Did you get that last part? How many people can say that!
Paris Hilton Wants to Save African Kids
No, seriously. Stop laughing, you bums. Paris Hilton has reformed while in prison (she was inside for what, a week?), and she’s now ready to save the world. Or at least, some place in Rwanda, where she’ll be heading to on a charity mission sometime next month because, you know, if mingling with poor African kids is good enough for Angelina Jolie, then by God it’s good enough for the new, reformed Paris Hilton. Again, I have to insist you stop laughing. Here’s what Hilton told Newsweek: “There are a lot of bad people in L.A. Before, my life was about having fun, going to parties—it was a fantasy. But when I had time to reflect, I felt empty inside. I want to leave a mark on the world.” Seriously, stop laughing. It’s just rude.
Carolina Pampita Ardohain in Cosas Magazine
This is a bit of a surprised. Usually whenever we see Carolina Ardohain (affectionally known as “Pampita” to her friends and stalkers), the Argentinian supermodel and TV actress is usually not wearing a whole lot of clothes, so seeing her in this spread for Cosas Magazine, wearing way too many clothes, is a bit of a disappointment. Then again, it is Carolina Ardohain, so a little bit or a little too much clothes is worth it anyway. Here’s a bit of trivia: Carolina Ardohain’s nickname, “Pampita”, is because she was born in La Pampa. Wait, you thought it was something more exciting? Sorry to disappoint you, kids.
Must-See TV: NBC’s Life
“A former police officer returns to the force after having been wrongly imprisoned for years.” Trust me, the actual show is a hell of a lot better than that brief, one-line synopsis of NBC’s show Life. I don’t know how Life is doing in the ratings, but I’m telling you this — you MUST watch this show. It’s probably the best new thing on TV right now. It stars Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi as mismatched partners solving crimes in L.A. Lewis plays Charlie Crews, the cop who was wrongly convicted, and is now out and about, determined to solve his own frame-up. Only he tells people he doesn’t care to solve it, but in fact he’s obsessed with it. Basically, it’s a damn good show, and you need to start watching it on Wednesdays at 10/9c on NBC.
Britney Spears’ Blackout Album Cover Picture
Sure, sure, so Britney Spears has been more known for bad performances, losing her kids, and going around town without panties than singing nowadays, but that doesn’t mean, uh, she still doesn’t have fans who actually wait with bated breath for her music. Her latest album, to be released late October, is called “Blackout”, and here’s your look at the album’s cover. It’s not exactly groundbreaking stuff, to be sure, but it gets the point across — Britney Spears is back, she has a new album, and, um, after too many drinks, she tends to suffer from blackouts. I think that’s what they were going for, and if not, oh well, it’s something like that, right?
Monica Bellucci as a Blonde in Vanity Fair
So why mess with perfection? Monica Bellucci was born to be a brunette. It’s what made her Italian — or, to be precise, what made her a smoking Italian babe. But hey, I guess some people are just determined to climb uphill, which is probably why they decided to make Monica Bellucci a blonde (one can only pray it’s only temporary) for this Vanity Fair spread. Mind you, not that I’m going to lose sleep if Monica Bellucci decides to stay a blonde, but you know, for the sake of the world and the health of the universe, I hope she goes back to dark hair. Pretty please, Monica?
More Kendra Wilkinson on Celebrity Rap Superstar
You gotta love Kendra Wilkinson. Or at least, I love Kendra Wilkinson. And no, it’s not because she’s a hot blonde and Playboy playmate, although sure, that doesn’t hurt or anything (what am I, a monk?). I love Kendra Wilkinson because she’s so uninhibited. You’re talking about a girl from San Diego, California who ended up in Playboy and now is living out her dream of being a rapper. Yes, a rapper. This skinny blonde girl from the suburbs loves rap so much that she’ll do a show like MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstar. And you know, she’s not bad at it, either! OKay, okay, so I don’t think anyone will be rushing to sign her to a label, but it could have been worst. Some more pictures of Kendra Wilkinson doing her rap thang. Or as the kids call it, the rap “game”.
Gemma Atkinson 2008 Calendar
We saw behind-the-scenes pictures of Gemma Atkinson shooting this 2008 calendar of hers a while ago (where those pictures are, I have no idea; I think I might have hid them in my sock drawer, but don’t hold me to it), but I have to say, the finished thing is pretty damn excellent. What’s that, you say? You don’t go around buying calendars of hot British models for absolutely no good reason? Um, which part of “hot British model” don’t you understand? That’s right, head onto the net now (wait, you’re already there!), now go find yourself a copy of Gemma Atkinson’s 2008 bikini-clad (of course) calendar. You won’t be sorry. (Just tell your mom she’s, like, a scientist or something.)
One Reason why I Miss JAG: Catherine Bell
Man, I miss watching JAG on TV. Sure, sure, the world isn’t completely without our daily dose of Catherine Bell, after all she’s one of the stars of Lifetime Channel’s Army Wives, but there’s just no substitute for watching a super fine woman walking around in that Marine ladies uniform — or whatever it’s officially called. You take a military setting, with all the trappings of macho that comes with it, and you plunk a woman as fine as Catherine Bell into the middle of it, and you have yourself a hit TV show. But then they had to go and cancel it. Now we’re stuck with watching Catherine play a army housewife (a MILF at that!), when we could have had another season of JAG. Gah, I miss JAG. Here are some reasons why.
Bar Refaeli Makes for One Hot Draft Dodger
Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli, aka Notch #551 on Leonardo DiCaprio’s list of supermodel conquests, is a draft dodger, and she’s damn proud of it. The supermodel recently told Israel’s Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper: “I don’t regret not having been drafted into the army, because I made out big. “Why is it good to die for one’s country? Isn’t it better to live in New York?” And hey, why wouldn’t she feel that way? She’s 22, she’s dating a mega movie star, and she gets paid oodles of money for strutting around in her undies. That’s basically my dream job! Refaeli even goes on to bash Israel, referencing an incident earlier when the country’s paparazzi got into a brouhaha with DiCaprio’s bodyguards, saying: “I won’t bring anyone famous to Israel any more because there is a chutzpah here that you won’t see anywhere else.” You have GOT to be pretty hot to get away with saying those things. Luckily for her, Bar Refaeli qualifies.