See, this is precisely why I joined the Americans Against Soccer Association (or AASA as we like to call ourselves), because soccer blows, and kids shouldn’t be playing it in the States. Here’s a good example of why soccer sucks: the French plays it. I mean, come on, the French! Those guys haven’t enjoyed doing something yet that has been worthwhile. But hey, don’t let my totally illogical bias against the French sway you. Check out this footage of a soccer move gone terribly, terribly wrong. Then listen to the kids laughing as one of their own takes a shot to the face. See what I mean? Soccer doesn’t just suck donkey balls, it also turns your kids into bastards! Now you understand? (P.S. AASA is currently accepting applications for new members…)
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