This weekend’s new slate of movies (six of them) are all hoping to take down Zach Snyder’s “300″, but will they? Let’s see… The film with the best chance would probably have to be the Adam Sandler movie “Reign Over Me”, but will Sandler’s audience of immature dorks pay good money to see their idol act all serious? I dunno. The next contender is “The Hills Have Eyes 2″, which is a guaranteed genre money maker. But genre films rarely perform that well against tough competition, so I’m going to say no on this one. “Pride” is the new Terrence Howard movie that you’ve seen 5 billion times before, and looks just as sugary and disgustingly predictable as the rest of them, so if this one topples “300″, I’ll be mad just on principle. Mark Wahlberg’s “Shooter” takes a shot at America, and will piss off some people, so I’ll no…
Which leaves us with the dark horse, “The Last Mimzy”, which is a family film, and might just do it. It’s got magic, it’s got smartass kids, and it’s got dumb adults. Kids will love it, and annoy their parents to go see it. Parents will go because it’s at least 90 minutes of sleep time.
Of course I didn’t even mention “TMNT”, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Why bother? It’s not going to do anything. Who the hell even remembers the turtles? My nephew thinks the turtles were just invented this year, so there you go.
You can’t stop Lena Headey’s perky nipples, you can only hope to contain them.
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