Victoria’s Secret Angels at the Beach. In Bikinis. Thank You, God.

So in case you missed it (what are you, stupid?), the Victoria’s Secret fashion show brought its whiz-bang over to Miami Beach for one of those exclusive fashion shows where hot girls dress up in lingerie and pretend they want to do you. All of you. Even Slow Johnny, who can barely answer the phone without vomiting. Anyhoo. So, while in Miami Beach, the Victoria’s Secret angels decided to go out for a walk on the beach. In matching white two-piece bikinis. Okay, so it was more like another crass commercial photoshoot, but am I complaining? Hell no! There were way too many angels there to get them all, but all the major ones were there, including Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller, Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, Karolina Kurkova, Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel. So what do you do when you have these many hot girls in bikinis at the same place? Well, trying to get them all into your eyeball would just damage your eyeballs beyond reason, so let’s play “Find the Victoria’s Secret Angel with the tramp stamp!” One of them has it. Can you name her? I bet you can’t!

What Do you Call a Gaggle of Victoria’s Secret Models in One Location? Heaven, of Course.

When you’re a Victoria’s Secret model, you basically have one job: sell, sell, sell. Sell what? Um, whatever it is they think of to sell, which could be anything from undies you can eat to machineguns. Okay, so Victoria’s Secret doesn’t sell machineguns just yet, but trust me, it’s only a matter of time. (Yeah, right, like you guys wouldn’t buy an assault rifle if Miranda Kerr was holding it in an ad — while dress in her undies, of course. Two, please!) So with the holidays on the horizon, the Victoria’s Secret girls are out in force doing what they do best — selling the brand. Now normally this many hot women in one place would give me the vapors something awful, but since I’m not a Southern Belle, I’ll just have to deal with it. Present and accounted for are Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova, Selita Ebanks, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller and Miranda Kerr. (I think there is one girl there who I haven’t seen before…)

Adriana Lima is Hot in Color or Black and White

Okay, I’ll admit it. We’ve been a little too preoccupied with the newest Victoria’s Secret angel from down under (aka Miranda Kerr) to pay much attention to the old standbys. Mind you, not that the word “old” has anything to do with girls like Adriana Lima, but you know, in the world of hot chicks, what’s new always takes precedence over, er, not so new. (Yeah, that sounds better.) But hey, we ain’t gonna do what everyone else does and ignore Adriana Lima any longer, because, you know, she’s still pretty damn hot, no matter if they’re shooting her in color or black and white. These pics just happens to be black and white, and let me tell you — still smoking, baby!

Adriana Lima Wants to Show You Her Bra

Oh come on, you know you’ve been dying to see this ever since you heard that Victoria’s Secret had a supermodel who was claiming to be a virgin, and was saving herself for marriage. Whether that is true or not, we’ll never know, but you know what we can be sure of? Just the sight of Adriana Lima holding a pair of bra in front of her is pretty damn sexy. I don’t know if it’s sexier than seeing, say, Adriana Lima without her bra and standing in front of you in your basement, but it’s pretty damn close. I’d call it a close second. Anyways, here’s Adriana Lima at a Victoria’s Secret department store promoting a pair of bras. Wow. I want me some bras. With Adriana Lima in it. Or out. Either/or.

Supermodels at the Superbowl

Yeah, yeah, so there was a great football game going on at Superbowl 42 (Roman numerals are so last week), but the real great stuff was going on in the background, what with all the high-priced hookers, celebrity parties, and then there’s this Victoria’s Secret extravaganza, where Victoria brought out the big guns to entertain the masses in the form of Adriana Lima, Selita Ebanks, and Karolina Kurkova. Okay, so maybe Lima is the only big gun, but you know, throw in a hot blonde and an equally hot African American and you got yourself a royale supermodel bash. Check them out at the VS party doing what they do best — looking hot by just showing up.

Gratuitous Adriana Lima Posting

If you’re going to throw up a totally gratuitous posting of a beautiful woman, why not do it on everyone’s favorite Brazilian virgin supermodel? (Adriana Lima is still a virgin, right? If not, then damn the bastard who made that no longer true!) So here’s a little bit of Adriana Lima for a steamy, hot, and totally lame Sunday. I mean, come on, isn’t it Fall already? Why is it still so damn hot outside? This is just ridiculous. Bloody climate changes. Wait, where was I? Oh right, it’s Sunday, so that means a completely gratuitous posting of supermodel Adriana Lima in various stages of half-dress. Enjoy.

Gisele Bundchen Tops 2007’s Top-Earning Models

Gisele Bundchen makes too damn much money for doing very little. Or at least I don’t see her doing very much, but it’s not like I’m stalking her or anything. Anyways, she must be doing something right, because the girl pulled in a whopping $33 million in the last 12 months, according to Forbes, who lists the 15 Top-Earning Models for 2007. Coming in second was coke-snorting model Kate Moss with a weak $9 million, while German Heidi Klum, virgin Adriana Lima, and Double A of Hotness Alessandra Ambrosio came in 3rd, 4th, and 5th, respectively. (Klum scored $8 million, while Lima and Ambrosio managed $6 million both.) Frankly, if it was up to me, Adriana Lima should top the list, since she refuses to “top” any man out there. Supposedly, hint hint.

Your Random Dose of Adriana Lima

At this point pictures of Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima in her bra and panties is pretty old hat, right? Um, no! Are you kidding? Adriana Lima and bra and panties goes together like humans and air. You can’t survive without the other. Well, okay, you probably can (if you try real hard), but really, why would you if you didn’t have to? That’s like going to the store to buy condoms when you already have a box laying on the table. It just doesn’t make any sense! (Neither does this post, but never you mind that, and just ogle the gorgeous Adriana Lima in her bra and panties.)

Adriana Lima Bikini Pictures

Saying, “Look, new bikini pictures of Adriana Lima!” is akin to saying, “Look, there’s air! Let’s breathe it!” It goes without saying, doesn’t it? Don’t you always catch Adriana Lima without most of her clothes on anyway? Mind you, not that that should prevent us from enjoying and celebrating these shots of the lovely Brazilian goddess on the beach showing off that perfect body to a couple of, um, old people? What I wouldn’t give to hear that conversation…

The Victoria’s Secret 2006 Fashion Show Pixapalooza

A sea of hotties on a Tuesday night? Why not? Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova, Caroline Trentini, Flavia De Oliveira, Heather Marks, Selita Ebanks, Jessica Stam, Izabel Goulart, Katja Shchekina, Raquel Zimmerman, and Julia Stegner doing the Victoria’s Secret 2006 fashion show. In their underoos. Really, really sexy underoos. Dear God, I think I’m in love. Like, every other second, I mean. ‘Nuff said.

Victoria’s Secrets “What is Sexy” Video

Adriana Lima is Everyone’s Christmas Wish

I find Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima to be unendingly fascinating. Yes, she’s incredibly hot, with one of those killer bodies the Brazilians are known for, and yes, there is that whole virgin thing, but also — well, that’s about it. What, you need more reasons? Here’s Adriana Lima in bra and panties (all women this hot should be required to wear nothing but bra and panties, but I digress) on the runway of a Victoria’s Secret fashions how. What, is it Christmas already?

Adriana Lima in a Red Bikini

Just when you think the world’s flirtatious Brazilian supermodel virgin has reached her peak of ultimate hotness, she goes and slaps on a two-piece red bikini for a photoshoot. Seriously, folks, this is just getting ridiculous. Is it even humane to tease men like this? Adriana Lima, I sentence you to a lifetime of punishment — in my wet dreams! (Okay, that’s a little dumb and kinda creepy, even I have to admit…)

Your Random Dose of Adriana Lima

So I was sitting at the computer, doing absolutely nothing productive (as I am wont to do) when it came to me: “Hmm, I wonder what Adriana Lima is doing right now?” Of course, having lost my psychic powers many years ago due to a gardening accident, I was forced to only imagine the activities of our favorite Brazilian supermodel virgin (try saying that three times real fast — it’ll probably be pretty easy). And voila, this totally random posting of Adriana Lima was born. Yes, boys and girls, that’s how we like to role around here.

This Week’s Feel Good Episode: When Brazilian Supermodels Touch

In this week’s very special episode of Maury, we explore what happens when two very hot Brazilian supermodels touch. And by “touch” I mean get in nothing but bikinis and rub their butt cheeks together. Oh yes. Brazil. Thank you. Here’s fellow Brazilian Victoria’s Secret supermodels Adriana Lima (virgin my ass!) and Ana Beatriz Barros in Photo Magazine sharing a little super special moment. Ain’t that sweet?

Weekend Treat: Adriana Lima

It’s been a while since we posted any new Adriana Lima, so in an attempt to rectify this non-problem problem, here’s some Adriana Lima for you kids to chew on over the weekend. Someone tell me again how this girl can still be a virgin? Surely, this must be one of the greatest mysteries of the universe, if not of time itself…

3 Hot Babes and Victoria’s Secret

Three lovely underwear models Karolina Kurkova, Gisele Bundchen and Adriana Lima at an event shilling for their sugar momma, Victoria and her Secret. Is it me or is Adriana Lima really vamping it up here? And do the other two girls look annoyed or what? Actually, Karolina Kurkova looks like she’s sleepwalking, but maybe it’s just the meth. I hear supermodels do meth like some of us throw football around in the yard. Okay, that makes absolutely no sense. Just ignore me.

Adriana Lima on the Victoria’s Secret Cover

Ever since she boggled the minds of lustful men everywhere with the revelation that she’s still a virgin (or so she says, ahem), supermodel bombshell Adriana Lima has moved straight to the top of everyone’s fantasy list, and let me tell you, there ain’t nice things like picnics in the park happening on that list, if you know what I mean, and I thnk you do. Wink wink. And this cover on the Victoria’s Secret brochure ain’t gonna hurt her any, either. Mmmmm…virgins….

Adriana Lima in GQ Magazine

At this point people probably think I have an unhealthy fixation with Brazilian babe Adriana Lima, but the truth is — er, I dunno, she just sort of shows up a lot, and she’s really, really hot, and — well, who cares. Here she is doing some wacky poses while looking good on a beach for GQ Magazine.

Adriana Lima is All Wet — Mostly

If you’re like me (and God I hope not for your sake) then you’re probably still trying to get over the notion that Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima is still a virgin (as per her confession). But anyways, here’s more pictures of the beautiful young woman all wet — well, not really, but it sure made for a great article title, huh?