Jordin Sparks is Your American Idol Season 6 Winner
As if there was any doubt, Jordin Sparks, all 7-foot of her, won American Idol’s final show and as a result, will instantly become a millionaire and popstar diva. She beat beat boxing dude Blake Lewis for the crown, but that wasn’t any shocker. I think everyone just assumed Sparks would win based on talent and the fact that she doesn’t beat box which is, let’s face it, a really stupid thing to still be doing in your ’20s, Blake. But hey, they sure squeezed that final episode for all it was worth, didn’t they? Two hours of singing. Wow. I didn’t know I could waste 2 hours that badly, but there it was.
Melinda Doolittle Eliminated from American Idol
Wednesday’s American Idol Results show eliminated Melinda Doolittle, leaving between a duel between beat-bopping dork Blake Lewis and 7-feet tall giant Jordin Sparks. In case you haven’t been watching the show, Melinda has been Simon’s favorite since forever, and she was a former back-up singer (say goodbye to the back-up duties, baby?) who has since come up front. The girl’s got great vocals and should get signed pretty fast. But without the American Idol machine behind her career, who knows where her career will end up. Now it’s Blake Lewis vs. Jordin Sparks. WHO YA GOT??
American Idol’s Constantine Maroulis Lands on Daytime TV
Proving that Yes, you can get by with just looks alone, former American Idol Season 4 reject Constantine Maroulis has landed a role on the daytime TV soap “The Bold and the Beautiful”, reports IMDB.com. Constanine will make his TV debut on the show’s May 15 episode, playing a music producer. He joins fellow American Idol reject Matthew Metzger, from Season Three, to land gigs on American daytime TV. Hey, it’s not “Dreamgirls”, but it’ll do for now.
American Idol Jessica Sierra Arrested for Assault, Drug Possession
It’s not a good time to be an ex-American Idol finalist right now. There was that whole brouhaha with Antonella Barba and some racy pictures, then Olivia Mojica had to deal with a sex tape, and now Season 4 finalist Jessica Sierra is in hot water, and has been was arrested and charged this weekend with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, possession of cocaine, and introduction of contraband into a detention facility, according to police reports. But hey, on the plus side, at least she didn’t show up naked on anyone’s website or on anyone’s home video, right?
Sanjaya Malakar Eliminated from American Idol
Good news and bad news, guys — the good news is that the horribly untalented Sanjaya Malakar has finally been eliminated from American Idol last night (suck on it, Howard Stern!), but the bad news is that we won’t be seeing anymore of Sanjaya’s sister, Shyamali, Sanjaya’s insanely hot 19-year old sister and ex-Hooters waitress, who always shows up in the audience during the episode tapings. Damn you, American Idol! Damn you Simon for constantly criticizing Sanjaya! Damn you all! Shyamaaaaaaaaaaali!!!!!!
Haley Scarnato is Season Six’s Idol Hottie
Yeah, we know Haley Scarnato has been kicked off American Idol since last week, but we’re still feeling her absence from the show, especially since we (and when I say “we”, I of course mean “me”) barely got through last night’s episode, and aren’t even sure if we’re going to watch tonight’s Results Show. But now that Haley Scarnato has been kicked off American Idol, we can say with completely certainty that she was, bar none, the American Idol Hottie of Season Six, and we shall miss her. Call us, Haley!
Carrie Underwood Sexy at the CMT Awards
Speaking about feeling guilty ogling a hot woman, I feel exactly the same way when I saw these pictures of former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood performing at the recent CMT Awards. I mean, damn, when did Carrie Underwood even developed the ability to be this sexy? She used to be cute and darling and all that, but sexy? Here’s Carrie Underwood performing at the CMT Awards. Now I don’t keep track of country music trends or whatnot, but are country music singers wearing stiletto heels, silver shorts, and corsets now? I gotta listen to country music more…
Sanjaya Malakar is Maxim’s “Girl of the Day”
With the caption, “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow”, those kooky guys over at Maxim has deemed American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar as their “Girl of the Day“. Obviously this is a big joke, as Sanjaya isn’t a girl. Right? Frankly I’d just ignore Sanjaya and do something on his sister Shyamali Malakar. I mean, come on, Maxim guys, the girl plays guitars naked! That’s at least 50 brownie points in my book.
American Idol Finalist Olivia Mojica Sex Tape Surfaces
First there was Frenchie, then Antonella Barba, and now … Olivia Mojica? Who the heck is Olivia Mojica? In case you forgot, she was a semi-finalist in the second season of American Idol. She was in the Top 4, I think. Obviously she didn’t win, or even proved that memorable, as nobody seems to recognize the name. Anyways, the guys behind Idol must be shaking their heads, because those naughty boys over at Vivid.com is at it again. This time they’ve purchased a 40-minute sex tape from someone (i.e. the boyfriend) that contains former Season 2 American Idol finalist Olivia Mojica doing the nasty (yikes, is it nasty, going by the trailer) with someone (i.e. the boyfriend who sold the tape).
Haley Scarnato Voted Off American Idol
It’s now official: The sixth season of “American Idol” is now babe-free. As in, there isn’t a single reason for a warm-blooded heterosexual male to continue watching the show, now that Haley Scarnato has been voted off. (And yes, that Sanjaya guy is still there. Hell, he’ll probably end up winning the whole shebang. Did you see how smug he was throughout the whole Results Show on Tuesday?) But any case, now that Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen is gone, “American Idol” returns to the realm of squealing 13 year old girls and gay men. Have fun, guys, I am so over Season 6 of “Idol”.
Gina Glocksen Eliminated from American Idol
I told you guys not to forget to vote for Gina Glocksen, but you went and forgot anyway, so now one of the only two passable hotties on “American Idol” is gone. That leaves Haley Scarnato, who will probably get booted next week since she and Gina ended up in the bottom two yesterday. So in honor of Gina Glocksen, here’s a brief visual history of her time on American Idol. Goodbye, rock’n'roll girl. We shall miss you. (Especially since we never saw you in that Supergirl costume live. Oh my.)
Canadian Idol Season 4 Winner Eva Avila
In case you didn’t know, American Idol proved so popular that it has spawned legions of different versions in a billion different countries. (Or actually, the British Pop Idol proved so popular that it spawned American Idol and all the rest, having been first and whatnot.) In any case, since most Americans have no idea that Pop Idol even existed, let’s just pretend American Idol was first, and go with it. In any case, while an awkward white guy won last year’s American Idol, a Katharine McPhee-esque babe won the Canadian version. Her name is Eva Avila, and tell me she doesn’t look like a younger Katharine McPhee from certain angles.
Don’t Forget to Vote for Gina Glocksen
Another American Idol season, another contestant rises to the top that gets my vote. (Okay, I don’t actually vote; or vote as often as I should, but just go along with it.) Gina Glocksen is that gal. The rock’n'roller has captured the hearts of men and girls everywhere with her rebel personality and great voice. So we’re up to another week of American Idol, which means everyone has to vote for Gina Glocksen again. Now come on, boys and girls, let’s not get lazy here. We all know Gina deserves to win, but we gotta make the phone calls, or she might go the way of Antonella Barba.
Haley Scarnato Survives One More Week
Good news, American Idol junkies, both of Season 6’s resident babes have survived Wednesday’s results night. While Gina Glocksen survived relatively easily (no surprise considering the praise she got for her Tuesday performance), Haley Scarnato had a bit of a tough time. She ended up in the bottom two with that fat curly hair kid. But alas, reason prevaled, and the fat curly hair kid got sent home, while Haley Scarnato survived to see next week. But damn, this was too close. Guys, you gotta start voting for Gina and Haley, or else there won’t be any babes left on American Idol season 6! Now let’s get to it, okay?
Shyamali Malakar is My Hooters Girl Idol
Go figure. The most popular contestant on Season Six of American Idol turns out not to be the one with the sex scandal, or even made it into the final round of, what, 24? It’s no other than Shyamali Malakar, who got kicked off the show after the contestants reached Los Angeles. We don’t know what the hell the judges were thinking (especially Simon. Come on, man! You fubar us by not keeping her on, Simon, you dolt!), but we sure miss seeing Shyamali Malakar performing every week instead of that dopey, girly brother of hers. What’s his name, Sanjaya? And hey, guess what? Apparently Shyamali Malakar is also a Hooters Girl, and she looks DAMN GOOD in her Hooters uniform. OH MY.
American Idol Babes Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen
With Antonella Barba eliminated (justifiably, I have to admit; her singing blew the last two times out, and spekaing of Antonella blowing — ahem) where was I? Oh right. With our Jersey Girl with a propensity for nudity gone, that only leaves really two girls worth watching American Idol for: Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen. Of the two, I’d say that Glocksen is the hotter of the duo, if only because of that whole rocker, “devil may care” attitude that she projects. A rocker has never won American Idol, so it’d be pretty cool if she won, although I doubt it. My guess is that one of the black girls will win; they have insane voices compared to babes Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen.
Antonella Barba is Destined for Playboy (or Something Close)
Let’s face it, after getting the boot from “American Idol” last Thursday, no music exec is going to touch Antonella Barba with a ten-foot pole. Even people who thinks they might sell a record or two with her name isn’t going to do it at the risk to their reputation. So that only leaves one avenue for our Jersey Girl to get some bucks — posing nude. Or mostly nude. It’ll either be in Playboy (which seems likely) or one of the men’s magazines, like Maxim or Stuff. Personally I’d prefer Maxim or Stuff. I don’t know, but they always seem a lot classier and more “real” than the photoshopped, airbrushed-to-death pictures in Playboy. So what are the chances that Antonella Barba is going to “bare” all for us…?
Antonella Barba Eliminated from American Idol; Men Everywhere Weeps
Those bastards at American Idol have done the unthinkable and voted our darling girl Antonella Barba off their rotten little show. For shame! Well actually, I guess we can’t blame AI for kicking Antonella off the show; people just didn’t vote enough for her. And sure, maybe her Godawful performance from Wednesday didn’t help, but still… Damn you guys. I told you to keep voting for her! Damn you all to hell! Oh well, she can always accept that $250,000 offer from the “Girls Gone Wild” dude…
Carrie Underwood Returns to “American Idol” Tonight
Of all the American Idol winners of the past, is there anyone more liked than Carrie Underwood? I swear I’ve never heard anyone say a single bad thing about her. Even people who think country music blows thinks Carrie Underwood is gosh darn cute and nice and they’d fall on a mud puddle so she can walk on their backs to get across the street. That’s how well-liked Carrie Underwood is. So for everyone out there, Carrie’s return to “American Idol” later tonight, during the Results Show, should please a whole lot of people. That is, unless you don’t like Carrie Underwood, in which case you probably don’t like “American Idol” either, so what’s the point?
Joe Francis to Antonella Barba: “Host ‘Girls Gone Wild’ for $250,000″
So I was sitting at home, minding my own business, and watching an E! Hollywood True Story on Alyssa Milano (which was very good, by the way), when there’s a ticker that says Joe Francis, the dork who created the “Girls Gone Wild” videos (you know, the one where college girls take off their shirts and engage in other lascivious behavior for the camera thanks to the miracle of alcohol and underage drinking?) has offered to pay Antonella Barba $250,000 as a “celebrity host” for one of his videos. Which is good news and bad news for our Jersey girl: if the whole American Idol thing doesn’t work out, there’s $250,000 waiting for her. And really, if all Francis wants to do is take advantage of her current notoriety and won’t require her to strip, why wouldn’t she do it? The girl has already posed mostly nude in front of a public water fountain, fer Christ. This doesn’t seem like that much of a step “down” if you know what I mean.