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Haley Scarnato Survives One More Week

30 March 2007

Good news, American Idol junkies, both of Season 6’s resident babes have survived Wednesday’s results night. While Gina Glocksen survived relatively easily (no surprise considering the praise she got for her Tuesday performance), Haley Scarnato had a bit of a tough time. She ended up in the bottom two with that fat curly hair kid. But alas, reason prevaled, and the fat curly hair kid got sent home, while Haley Scarnato survived to see next week. But damn, this was too close. Guys, you gotta start voting for Gina and Haley, or else there won’t be any babes left on American Idol season 6! Now let’s get to it, okay?

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Shyamali Malakar is My Hooters Girl Idol

23 March 2007

Go figure. The most popular contestant on Season Six of American Idol turns out not to be the one with the sex scandal, or even made it into the final round of, what, 24? It’s no other than Shyamali Malakar, who got kicked off the show after the contestants reached Los Angeles. We don’t know what the hell the judges were thinking (especially Simon. Come on, man! You fubar us by not keeping her on, Simon, you dolt!), but we sure miss seeing Shyamali Malakar performing every week instead of that dopey, girly brother of hers. What’s his name, Sanjaya? And hey, guess what? Apparently Shyamali Malakar is also a Hooters Girl, and she looks DAMN GOOD in her Hooters uniform. OH MY.

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American Idol Babes Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen

14 March 2007

With Antonella Barba eliminated (justifiably, I have to admit; her singing blew the last two times out, and spekaing of Antonella blowing — ahem) where was I? Oh right. With our Jersey Girl with a propensity for nudity gone, that only leaves really two girls worth watching American Idol for: Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen. Of the two, I’d say that Glocksen is the hotter of the duo, if only because of that whole rocker, “devil may care” attitude that she projects. A rocker has never won American Idol, so it’d be pretty cool if she won, although I doubt it. My guess is that one of the black girls will win; they have insane voices compared to babes Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen.

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Antonella Barba is Destined for Playboy (or Something Close)

11 March 2007

Let’s face it, after getting the boot from “American Idol” last Thursday, no music exec is going to touch Antonella Barba with a ten-foot pole. Even people who thinks they might sell a record or two with her name isn’t going to do it at the risk to their reputation. So that only leaves one avenue for our Jersey Girl to get some bucks — posing nude. Or mostly nude. It’ll either be in Playboy (which seems likely) or one of the men’s magazines, like Maxim or Stuff. Personally I’d prefer Maxim or Stuff. I don’t know, but they always seem a lot classier and more “real” than the photoshopped, airbrushed-to-death pictures in Playboy. So what are the chances that Antonella Barba is going to “bare” all for us…?

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Antonella Barba Eliminated from American Idol; Men Everywhere Weeps

9 March 2007

Those bastards at American Idol have done the unthinkable and voted our darling girl Antonella Barba off their rotten little show. For shame! Well actually, I guess we can’t blame AI for kicking Antonella off the show; people just didn’t vote enough for her. And sure, maybe her Godawful performance from Wednesday didn’t help, but still… Damn you guys. I told you to keep voting for her! Damn you all to hell! Oh well, she can always accept that $250,000 offer from the “Girls Gone Wild” dude…

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Carrie Underwood Returns to “American Idol” Tonight

8 March 2007

Of all the American Idol winners of the past, is there anyone more liked than Carrie Underwood? I swear I’ve never heard anyone say a single bad thing about her. Even people who think country music blows thinks Carrie Underwood is gosh darn cute and nice and they’d fall on a mud puddle so she can walk on their backs to get across the street. That’s how well-liked Carrie Underwood is. So for everyone out there, Carrie’s return to “American Idol” later tonight, during the Results Show, should please a whole lot of people. That is, unless you don’t like Carrie Underwood, in which case you probably don’t like “American Idol” either, so what’s the point?

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Joe Francis to Antonella Barba: “Host ‘Girls Gone Wild’ for $250,000″

7 March 2007

So I was sitting at home, minding my own business, and watching an E! Hollywood True Story on Alyssa Milano (which was very good, by the way), when there’s a ticker that says Joe Francis, the dork who created the “Girls Gone Wild” videos (you know, the one where college girls take off their shirts and engage in other lascivious behavior for the camera thanks to the miracle of alcohol and underage drinking?) has offered to pay Antonella Barba $250,000 as a “celebrity host” for one of his videos. Which is good news and bad news for our Jersey girl: if the whole American Idol thing doesn’t work out, there’s $250,000 waiting for her. And really, if all Francis wants to do is take advantage of her current notoriety and won’t require her to strip, why wouldn’t she do it? The girl has already posed mostly nude in front of a public water fountain, fer Christ. This doesn’t seem like that much of a step “down” if you know what I mean.

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Antonella Barba Sex Scandal Watch: Frenchie Ain’t Happy

6 March 2007

Frenchie Davis, who got booted off of “American Idol”’s Season 2 after nude pictures of her surfaced on a porn website, is not all too pleased that she got the boot but current American Idol contestant Antonella Barba still has her spot on the show after her own nude pictures surfaced. There is one difference between the two girls, though: Barba’s pictures were nude modeling pics, and didn’t show up on any pay site, while Davis’ pics were on a pay site. Now I don’t know if that makes any difference, but Frenchie ain’t happy about it in any case. And really, can you blame her? AI kicks out the fat black girl, but keeps the skinny white girl? I smell racism, and it stinks like Swiss Cheese!

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Kellie Pickler’s Breasts: Are They Real or Memorex?

2 March 2007

The big talk around the Internet water cooler today is about Kellie Pickler’s breasts — are they real, or are they the result of a brilliant surgeon’s work? After her return to “American Idol” yesterday, Kellie, being Kellie has incurred just about the same split reaction she was known for when she was on AI’s Season 5 — that is, people don’t know rather to hate her, love her, or ogle her boobs. I’ve already posted screenshots of Kellie on Thursday’s show, but just for comparison, here is Kellie at the recent CMA (Country Music Awards, I think), showing a couple of different profiles. So what do you think? Are those boobs fake or real? Or are they in fact the product of a great push-up bra? You decide! (I’m just gonna ogle…)

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Antonella Barba Sex Scandal Watch: She’s a Survivor!

2 March 2007

Scandal or no scandal, that’s not gonna stop the American public from voting Antonella Barba onto the next round of “American Idol”, as was apparently after the scandalized New Jersey babe survived Thursday’s results show. Although perhaps in a hinting of things to come, Antonella did end up in the bottom two, so those guys (and I do mean guys) voting for her better keep voting or our girl is not gonna survive past next week! Come on, guys, if we work together, we can keep this hot piece mama on “American Idol” and keep the show worth watching for ever and ever and ever! (Or at least until next week…)

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Kellie Pickler and her Cleavage Returns to American Idol

1 March 2007

How long ago was Kellie Pickler on American Idol? It was just last year, wasn’t it? Well, seeing her back yesterday, I barely recognized her. I don’t know what she’s done to herself, but I don’t like the hair at all. And the breasts — um, are those the originals, or new and improved implants? As expected, Kellie has gone into country music, where she was born to sing. I don’t actually remember what she sang on the Results Show yesterday, but I remember it was good. And country. And Kellie has really filled up, if you know what I mean. Are those breast implants, or was Kellie just treating us to some incredible cleavage?

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Antonella Barba Sex Scandal Watch: The Wednesday After

1 March 2007

So the weekend is over, and Antonella Barba has apparently survived the forays of sexually explicit pictures that may or may not be her, and some salacious modeling pictures that are definitely her. (And may I say, Antonella has some nice figure there, yessiree bob.) So how did Antonella perform on American Idol this Wednesday? Either she was very nervous, or she just never had any singing talent to begin with, because even my tone deaf dog sang better than Antonella did yesterday. If she doesn’t get booted in the Results Show tomorrow (er, later today, I mean), then there are a lot of guys out there voting that wouldn’t normally vote on American Idol.

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That Katharine McPhee-Tyra Banks Boobie Squeeze Picture

1 March 2007

You may have seen it, or heard about it. You know, that oft-talked about picture of supermodel Tyra Banks giving ex-American Idol Katharine McPhee’s boobies a little squeeze on her talk show. (see pic below — or, er, to your left) It’s not nearly as salacious as you might have heard, but it is pretty, um, how should I put it? Well, it is what it is. I don’t know rather to recommend it or not, but there’s nothing graphic about it. It’s just one woman squeezing another woman’s breasts on live television for the world to see. What’s so wrong about that? Man, I wish I had a TV show…

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American Idol’s Antonella Barba Has been a Bad, Bad Girl

24 February 2007

American Idol pop singer wannabe Antonella Barba has been a bad, bad girl. Or at least that’s according to the slew of risque pictures of the AI Season 6 contestant that have flooded the net in recent days. The pictures show Barba, aka “The Girl from New Jersey” in less than wholesome displays of partying, nudity, and, quite possibly most damning of all, giving a man fellatio while looking drunk as a skun. It’s a sad thing, but what makes it worst for the poor girl is that the people leaking the photos are, in all likelihood, either her own friends jealous of her current fame, or enemies that used to be former friends. FOX hasn’t said rather they’ll can Barba or not, but I don’t see them doing anything else. Can you imagine AI willingly continuing to link itself to a girl who allowed men to snap pictures of her as she’s satisfying them? Oh dear.

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Ex-American Idol Kimberly Caldwell in Bikini

19 February 2007

Regular American Idol watchers will recognize Kimberly Caldwell from the second season of AI, where she lasted into the final rounds, before getting ousted at 7th place. I don’t really know why she’s not singing anymore, but as I recall it, she’s got a pretty good voice. But Kimberly Caldwell seems to have left singing behind, and is doing mostly TV work now. I think I caught her every now and then on FOX News, but then again, it’s not like I watch FOX News a whole lot, so she could be on there everyday and I wouldn’t know. (I really gotta watch cable news channels more often…) In any case, here’s Kimberly Caldwell doing the bikini thing. Texas girls and bikinis always seem to go together like Michael Jackson and child endangerment lawsuits. What I’m trying to say is — me likey!

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Red is My New Favorite Color

5 February 2007

It used to be that black was my favorite color. After all, black is slimming, and I’m sure everyone appreciates that. That is, unless you’re 300 pounds, then nothing will make you look slimmer, unless we’re talking semi-trucks here. But I digress. Where was I? Oh right. Katharine McPhee has made me love the color red. Here is the 2006 American Idol runner-up at some fashion show somewhere for some charity event or rather, looking criminally good in red. How good does she look? In one picture you can see Danica Patrick behind her, and she makes Danica Patrick look like an angry troll. Nuff said.

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American Idol is Back, so is Ryan Starr

7 January 2007

Remember Ryan Starr, aka Tiffany Ryan Montgomery? The really hot teen from the first Season of American Idol? Oh come on, of course you remember her. She was the one with the long, lean body who always wore clothes that showed off her flat abs. Half a decade later, Ryan is, urm, not doing anything that I know of, but Wikipedia claims otherwise: “Shortly after her run on American Idol, Starr made a guest appearance on the popular FOX network comedy That ’70s Show, and had a guest role on an episode of the hit CBS drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. In 2004, she starred in the third season of the VH1 reality show The Surreal Life.” Go figure. Here’s Ryan resurfaced, still not wearing a whole lot of clothes.

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Katharine McPhee is All Legs

5 December 2006

Last night FOX broadcast the 2006 Billboard Music Awards from Las Vegas. I think it was live, but I’m not sure, since I didn’t bother watching it. To tell you the truth, watching movie awards shows are bad enough, but when it’s something as irrelevant as a music awards show, well, it’s just doubly bad. I mean, does anyone remember who won last year’s Billboards? Or even the American Music Awards? Or the Grammys? Or any other music awards? Yeah, that’s what I figure. Anyhey, Katharine McPhee was there, sporting some insane legs. Damn, I knew there was a reason I voted for this woman during “American Idol”. Wait, did I say I voted? I mean, um, not vote, because, of course, I’m way too cool to vote on “AI”…

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American Idol Kelly Clarkson Confuses Me

24 October 2006

Original American Idol Kelly Clarkson confuses me. Well, that’s kind of a broad statement, as women in general confuses me. But Kelly Clarkson in particular. I can’t figure out if this girl is the nice, friendly American Idol winner I voted for (Er, I mean, I saw people vote for. Ahem.), or if she’s a bad girl waiting to get busted for drug possession. Anyways, here’s your latest look at Kelly Clarkson. That ab is starting to get into shape, but those pant legs are about two inches short of full retardation.

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Kelly Clarkson Pulls a Mel Gibson, Gets Drunk Off her Ass at a Concert

18 August 2006

So how drunk is Kelly Clarkson in these pictures? Dunno, but she looks pretty sloshed to me. Plus, why is an American Idol winner attending a heavy metal band on the Sunset Strip? There is just something so wrong about that statement I don’t know where to begin. In any case, here’s Kelly Clarkson, grabbing a bottle of Chivas Regal by the neck and apparently acting the fool onstage and offstage at someone else’s concert. The pictures make it look like she was really wasted, but the video apparently isn’t all that bad. Eh, you decide.

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