The Olsens Continue to Freak Me Out
Now I don’t know what the hell the Olsen girls (Mary-Kate and Ashley, as I hear are their actual names, but don’t hold me to it) are dressed up as for this year’s Halloween, but it just creeps me the hell out. Then again, they could just be walking up a street doing nothing, and they would still look creepy to me. I’m telling you right now, if these two former child stars don’t turn out to be alien babies sent to destroy us, I’ll eat my hat, and you know how I hate the taste of hat. It’s so…hatty. How creepy are they? So creepy that whenever I stare into their eyes, I get this overwhelming urge to punch myself in the face, and that just ain’t right. Ouch! Did it again.
The Olsen Twins are Kinda Hot …
Is it wrong that I think the Olsen Twins are kinda hot? Okay, maybe it’s wrong from certain perspectives, but being that they’re both 21 at the moment, it’s not nearly as wrong as it used to be. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have certainly grown up to be lovely young women, and as I hear it, one of them may or may not be dating one-nut guy Lance Armstrong. Which would make Lance the most enviable man in the universe, because let’s face it, considering that the Olsen Twins are always seen together and are always touchy feely, you would have to figure that if you could get one of them in the sack, the other one wouldn’t be far behind, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Ashley Olsen in Nylon Magazine
It must kinda suck being twins. Worst when you’re the friggin Olsen Twins. Everybody knows who you are and what you look like, so how exactly do you go about distinguishing yourself from your twin? And you know actors. They’re always trying to “define” themselves. Such is the dilemma for Ashley Olsen, one half of the billionairess Olsen Twins, here in Nylon Magazine, which I’m guessing is about nylons. Or maybe it’s a magazine about a guy name Nylon.