The Random Page

Hey, Carrie Underwood, Nice Bikini Pics! And The Tattoos Ain’t Bad, Either.

Whoa, look at that, Carrie Underwood went and got a tattoo. What’s Carrie Underwood doing with a tattoo? And not just one tattoo, either, but apparently two. One on the front, and one on the back. And in, er, very sensitive locations, too. Huh. That is kind of surprising. I don’t know if she just got them recently, or if they’ve always been on that nice countrified body. For some reason, when I think Carrie Underwood, sweetheart of country music, I don’t think tattoos. Oh well, at least she didn’t slap an ugly tramp stamp on her. Close, but not quite. Plus, the bikini pics look good, and really, isn’t that what’s important?

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The Big List of Chicks Who Make Lots of Money in 2007

US Magazine, a trade publication that I read every day while Vietnamese ladies of varying hotness and age do my nails and give me a nice rubdown, has a list appropriately called “What People Earn”. You know, because seriously, that’s, like, um, wow, that’s not a very creative list. But anyways, it gets the point across, and I suppose that’s what matters. And the point is that Miley Cyrus made $18 million last year, while fellow chick Jessica Alba made a measly $9 million. Hah! Jessica should be ashame of herself. She needs to work harder and stop getting knocked up is what she needs to do.

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Carrie Underwood vs. Jessica Simpson — WHO YA GOT??

Man, it sure doesn’t suck to be Dallas Quarterback stud Tony Romo. Then again, after Romo’s atrocious play last weekend against the Philadelphia Eagles, maybe it does kinda suck to be Tony Romo. But his love life is certainly something that doesn’t suck; after goofing off with country music princess Carrie Underwood, Romo is now plying his trade with pop princess Jessica Simpson. He’s now dabbled in two extreme opposites in two different musical genres, and some people are saying he should go back to the country music girl because the pop princess may be partying our boy too hard. If you were Tony Romo, what would YOU do? Carrie Underwood vs. Jessica Simpson — WHO YA GOT??

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Most Phallic Picture of the Day: Carrie Underwood at the CMA

You know, if I was a lesser man, I would have all kinds of nutty (i.e. really, really funny) captions for this picture of Carrie Underwood at the Country Music Awards show, where she apparently won a ton of awards. Or two, actually. I think she won two. Maybe she won more, but she just couldn’t hold both of them up at once. Which leads me to our Most Phallic Picture of the Day, which just happens to involve the oh-so-sweet Carrie Underwood backstage at the CMA proudly displaying her hardware and, um, eliciting all kinds of bad imagery in my mind. I am so going to hell.

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Carrie Underwood is the World’s Sexiest Vegetarian

PETA wants you to know that over 100K vegetarians voted in their poll, and the winners were Carrie Underwood for the girls and Kevin Eubanks for the guys, who claimed the title of World’s Sexiest Vegetarians. Normally I think PETA is pretty whack, but I can’t disagree with them here. Carrie Underwood is definitely sexy, and the fact that she manages to look very healthy while still not eating meat only makes her hotter. Usually vegetarians are stick figures with bags of skin and bones; to be honest, most vegetarians look kind of scary, like zombies minus the decaying flesh. But Carrie Underwood? Pure smoking hotness.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be … Tony Romo

Boy, does it not suck to be Tony Romo. (Well, except for that one game up there in Seattle…) How exactly does a college quarterback from Eastern Illinois University land the main main job with the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys? Or for that matter, how does a guy from San Diego end up on the arms of America’s sweetheart, Carrie Underwood and attending the 2007 Country Music Awards (pictures below)? Don’t ask me, I’m just a schmuck who types on a computer for a living. But however Tony Romo did it, I wish he’d let me know. (Plus, that’s a cool last name. “Romo”. Damn, this guy has it all! Damn him!) Of course, there’s always that game up in Seattle…

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Carrie Underwood in People’s 100 Most Beautiful People List

You may or may not have heard, but People Magazine released their “100 Most Beautiful People” list recently, and Carrie Underwood was on that list. She joins people like Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lopez and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tyra Banks, Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Aniston. Not a bad list, to be sure, but for my money Carrie Underwood has them all beat with natural beauty, down home goodness, and just basic human decency. And she’s dating the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. How much more “American” can you get? Here’s Carrie Underwood’s pic from the issue.

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Carrie Underwood Bikini Pictures

It’s not everyday you catch America’s country music sweetheart in a two-piece bikini, so even if she gets snapped on a boat holding up a striper fish, that’s still something to celebrate. And hey, is it just me or does the fact that Carrie Underwood fishes while wearing a bikini really, really sexy? Just focus on the hot girl in the bikini and ignore the fish and those two guys. So that’s two American Idol winners down (although to be sure, Kelly Clarkson in a bikini was really disappointing), and now if only Katharine McPhee would get her bikini on…

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Carrie Underwood Sexy at the CMT Awards

Speaking about feeling guilty ogling a hot woman, I feel exactly the same way when I saw these pictures of former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood performing at the recent CMT Awards. I mean, damn, when did Carrie Underwood even developed the ability to be this sexy? She used to be cute and darling and all that, but sexy? Here’s Carrie Underwood performing at the CMT Awards. Now I don’t keep track of country music trends or whatnot, but are country music singers wearing stiletto heels, silver shorts, and corsets now? I gotta listen to country music more…

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Carrie Underwood Returns to “American Idol” Tonight

Of all the American Idol winners of the past, is there anyone more liked than Carrie Underwood? I swear I’ve never heard anyone say a single bad thing about her. Even people who think country music blows thinks Carrie Underwood is gosh darn cute and nice and they’d fall on a mud puddle so she can walk on their backs to get across the street. That’s how well-liked Carrie Underwood is. So for everyone out there, Carrie’s return to “American Idol” later tonight, during the Results Show, should please a whole lot of people. That is, unless you don’t like Carrie Underwood, in which case you probably don’t like “American Idol” either, so what’s the point?

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