Archive | Celebrities do the Dumbest Things RSS feed for this category

Jerry Seinfeld Bee Costume in Cannes

18 May 2007

You would think being a gazillionaire would come with a side order of dignity, but apparently not. Despite his show being off the air for years now, Seinfeld is still making a mint off royalty checks, DVD sales, and syndication. But that won’t stop the comedian from dressing in a humongous bee costume and “flying down” the rooftop of a hotel at the Cannes Film Festival in France to promote his upcoming animated “Bee Movie”. You know, the kind of stunt that is usually left to those losers from Troma. (Look at the faces of the guys rigging Seinfeld up for his stunt. That just about says it all.)

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Paris Hilton Wants Arnold Schwarzenegger to Pardon Her. No, Seriously.

9 May 2007

Paris Hilton is so outraged by her 45-day jail sentence (which she has to start serving next month) that she is taking her case to the highest court in all of California — Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s desk. Yes, you read that correctly. People.com reports: “In a message that went up Monday on her MySpace page and reported in the New York Post, the hotel heiress writes (in her own spelling): “My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!” Holy cow. I’ve seen and heard some really stupid things in my life, but this has to take the cake. I got 1 to 5 million odds that Schwarzenegger will pardon her for this “injustice”.

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Tom Sizemore’s Drug-Fueled Downward Spiral Continues to Spiral Downward Even Further

9 May 2007

Holy smoking cow. What has happened to Tom Sizemore? There was a time, about 7 or so years ago, when you could watch a war movie without seeing Tom Sizemore in the role of the “tough Sergeant who has seen it all”. And he played it so damn well, too, that you knew he would become a star, if not a leading man, then at least a continually working character actor. And then — BAM. It all went downhill in a pile of cocaine and whatever else Tom was snorting up his nose. And now the AP reports that Tom has been arrested again, this time for “possession of methamphetamine, being under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of narcotic paraphernalia”. Oh, Tom, you poor bastard.

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David Hasselhoff Drunk on Video

4 May 2007

The Hoff is drunk. Off his ass. As in, Mel Gibson level of drunk We’re talking epic here, folks. So drunk that he’s shirtless, laying on the floor of his hotel room, eating a hamburger spilled all over the place. All the while, a family member (his daughter, maybe) is filming him. If you’ve ever seen a buddy drunk and crawling around a room, you’ll know what’s happening with The Hoff in the video. And if you’ve ever seen a famous celebrity in a similar situation, it’s insane. Check out David Hasselhoff drunk off his butt over at Extra TV here.

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Tom Brady Caught Wearing a New York Yankees Cap

4 May 2007

So let me get this straight, Tom: You play for the New England Patriots, which happens to be located in the same state as the Boston Red Sox, whose most hated rival happens to be the New York Yankees (”The Evil Empire” and all that jazz), and you get caught walking on the New York streets with your supermodel girlfriend (who apparently relocated to New York for) wearing a New York Yankees cap? Man, you gotta be five shades to Sunday Stupid to do something boneheaded like that. Then again, I think both the Red Sox and the Yankees blow, so I’m kinda enjoying seeing this uproar over a — gasp! — cap. (Personally I blame it on the hot Brazilian supermodel girlfriend…)

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Alycia Lane and Her Email Bikini Pictures — Oops

3 May 2007

Apparently there are really attractive women out there who finds dorky ESPN anchor Rich Eisen handsome. Or at least bangable enough to send him bikini pictures of themselves via email in hopes of hooking up with him (as the kids would say) later on. Good grief! Women out there must be really desperate! Such is the sad, sad situation of local Philly anchor Alycia Lane, who got caught sending bikini pictures of herself to Eisen, except — dum dum dum — the ESPN dork shares an email account with his wife, ABC college football sideline reporter Suzy Shuster. (I told you he was a dork. Who shares an email account with the wife?) And, yup, you guessed it, the wife checked the email and found Lane’s emails, bikini pictures included, first.

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Tobey Maguire Bitch Slaps a Fan

30 April 2007

Well okay, so he didn’t smack the guy in the face with his bare hand, but he did smack the guy’s digital (film?) camera out of his hand as the guy was trying to snap a picture of him as Tobey was heading into a hotel. And he did it with a mean face, too, which somehow makes it kind of worst. Damn, Peter Parker, what’s gotten into you, bub? I don’t know if the guy was a paparazzi or not (wouldn’t it be just awful if he was a big fan who just got over eager?), but even if he was, was that really necessary, Tobey?

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American Idol Finalist Olivia Mojica Sex Tape Surfaces

14 April 2007

First there was Frenchie, then Antonella Barba, and now … Olivia Mojica? Who the heck is Olivia Mojica? In case you forgot, she was a semi-finalist in the second season of American Idol. She was in the Top 4, I think. Obviously she didn’t win, or even proved that memorable, as nobody seems to recognize the name. Anyways, the guys behind Idol must be shaking their heads, because those naughty boys over at Vivid.com is at it again. This time they’ve purchased a 40-minute sex tape from someone (i.e. the boyfriend) that contains former Season 2 American Idol finalist Olivia Mojica doing the nasty (yikes, is it nasty, going by the trailer) with someone (i.e. the boyfriend who sold the tape).

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Will Ferrell Almost Kills Meredith Viera on the Ice Rink

28 March 2007

While promoting his upcoming ice skating comedy “Blades of Glory” on the Today show, fictional anchorman Will Ferrell and real-life anchorwoman Meredith Vieira went for a spin around Rockefeller Center’s skating rink in front of a live audience (as they are wont to do on the show), where Vieira fell and hit her head while the two were doing a move from the movie, reports Reuters. Ouch. Don’t worry, Meredith Vieira fans (I’m told you people actually exists), Meredith Vieira is still alive and well, and “Today” even made fun of it by showing the fall from various angles. How cute.

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It’s Official: Angelina Jolie is Now Creepy

14 March 2007

Angelina Jolie used to be sexy. Enticing. Enthralling. Really, really fantasy-worthy material. Now she’s just creeping the bejesus out of me. I mean, seriously, what the hell is wrong with this woman and why is she going around adopting children the way other people buy snow globes to remember their vacations by? Is her goal to have one kid from every country? And what exactly does she plan to do with all these foreign kids? Seriously, what kind of mother can she possibly be? She’s constantly surrounded by paparazzi, she spends most of her time on movie sets, and her husband will probably divorce her ass in a few months. Even Grade-A Looney Poon isn’t going to keep Brad Pitt on his leash for long. He’s got to see how flippin nuts his wife is. So now Angelina is going to adopt another kid from Vietnam because, well, she doesn’t have one from Vietnam yet.

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Antonella Barba Sex Scandal Watch: The Wednesday After

1 March 2007

So the weekend is over, and Antonella Barba has apparently survived the forays of sexually explicit pictures that may or may not be her, and some salacious modeling pictures that are definitely her. (And may I say, Antonella has some nice figure there, yessiree bob.) So how did Antonella perform on American Idol this Wednesday? Either she was very nervous, or she just never had any singing talent to begin with, because even my tone deaf dog sang better than Antonella did yesterday. If she doesn’t get booted in the Results Show tomorrow (er, later today, I mean), then there are a lot of guys out there voting that wouldn’t normally vote on American Idol.

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Antonella Barba Sex Scandal Watch: The Pictures

25 February 2007

I kind of feel bad for this girl. Kinda. Here’s the latest about her adventures in cyberspace, whether willingly or not: The Post Chronicles gives a great rundown of where sexually explicit pictures of Antonella Barba can be found, and let me warn you that they are indeed very explicit. As in, there’s a set where she’s giving a guy a oral sex. I mean, DAMN. Anyways, here’s the rundown of all those Antonella Barba pictures you’ve been dying to find. Read on…

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American Idol’s Antonella Barba Has been a Bad, Bad Girl

24 February 2007

American Idol pop singer wannabe Antonella Barba has been a bad, bad girl. Or at least that’s according to the slew of risque pictures of the AI Season 6 contestant that have flooded the net in recent days. The pictures show Barba, aka “The Girl from New Jersey” in less than wholesome displays of partying, nudity, and, quite possibly most damning of all, giving a man fellatio while looking drunk as a skun. It’s a sad thing, but what makes it worst for the poor girl is that the people leaking the photos are, in all likelihood, either her own friends jealous of her current fame, or enemies that used to be former friends. FOX hasn’t said rather they’ll can Barba or not, but I don’t see them doing anything else. Can you imagine AI willingly continuing to link itself to a girl who allowed men to snap pictures of her as she’s satisfying them? Oh dear.

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“Goodfellas” Star Ray Liotta Arrested

19 February 2007

Yo, Ray, just because you played a mobster in the movies who gets away with, literally, murder, it doesn’t mean you’re gonna get away with it in real life, dumbass. What am I talking about? Apparently “Goodfellas” star Ray Liotta was arrested over the weekend for DUI, Driving Under the Influence. I.e. he was drunk off his ass, ala Mel Gibson. I wonder if he blamed the Jews, too? This is sad news for the actor, as he just won an Emmy for a stint on “ER”, too. Read on for the details…

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Britney Spears has Gone F’in Insane, Shaves Head

17 February 2007

Well, you just knew it had to happen, didn’t you? K-Fed. “Chaotic”. Two marriages. Two divorces. Two kids in two years. The poor girl has finally flipped her lead and gone totally bat shit. That is, if you don’t count going into rehab, coming out of rehab, getting tattoos on your wrists, and then just for fun, shaving your head YOURSELF. Yes, that’s right. Britney Spears, formerly America’s pop princess turned late-night skank, has finally jumped off the deep end.

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Kim Kardashian Does the Celebrity Sex Tape Thing

11 February 2007

Another (semi) celebrity, another sex tape. So what else is new? Here’s news that Kim Kardashian, daughter of OJ Attorney Robert Kardashian has a new sex tape out on the net. Well, she doesn’t have it out, her ex-boyfriend R.J. does, and he’s already sold it for a cool $1 million to porn company Vivid Entertainment. So what does this mean to you? Well, nothing, of course. Except Kim Kardashian is pretty hot, and has a pretty rockin’ body, and if you’re into celebrity sex tapes, you should be in Heaven by now. Paris Hilton she ain’t — she’s actually much, much hotter.

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Russell Crowe Hates Rugby Cheergirls, I Don’t

9 February 2007

Bowing to pressure from wife Danielle Spencer, former Aussie tough guy turned pussywhipped mama’s boy Russell Crowe has decided to ditch the cheergirls of his rugby club, the South Sydney Rabbitohs. Actually, I don’t really care why Crowe did it, but I really like the idea of a rugby club having something called “cheergirls”. They’re kinda like our NFL’s cheerleaders, only, um, for rugby. Here’s the reason why Crowe said he ditched these lovely lasses: “It makes women uncomfortable and it makes blokes who take their son to the football also uncomfortable,” Crowe told Australian media. “We’ve talked to a lot of people and everyone sees it as being progressive.” Progressive. Pfft. Yeah, men don’t like going to a violent sport where scantily clad ladies dance on the sidelines. Whatever, dumbass.

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Harry Potter Takes It Off for “Equus”

5 February 2007

Dude, check it out. That Harry Potter dork takes off his clothes in the stage play of “Equus”, about, and I’m quoting here, “a boy’s erotic obsession with horses, is a challenge on another level.” (I sh-t you not.) The boy formerly known as Harry Potter (at least for now), Daniel Radcliffe, plays “Alan Strang, a passionate but hopeless adolescent who wilfully blinds six horses with a metal spike.” (I sh-t you not part deux.) It’s supposed to be a big whoopie do of a play. You know, the kind of crap that rich people with too much money and the need to show their off their “culture” go to see. And oh yeah, at some point in the play, Radcliffe takes it all off, willy and all. Harry Potter done went and got nekkid!

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Dakota Fanning Gets Raped in “Hounddog”

24 January 2007

In her new movie, “Hounddog”, that is. The 12-year old actress (”Charlotte’s Web”) is shown in the film being raped by a man, and that’s got all the usual suspects on the religious right in an uproar, and all the non-religious left clamoring to defend the film, including Fanning, who tells the media: “When it gets to the point of [people] attacking my mother, my agent … my teacher, who were all on the set that day [when the rape scene was shot], that started to make me mad.” Like, yeah, you, like, tell them, Dakota. Heck, you’re 12 years old, you know what you’re doing. Right?

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Another Day, Another Paris Hilton Sex Tape — or 200

24 January 2007

Paris Hilton loves attention. But then again, you probably already know that. Saying that Paris Hilton gravitates toward the camera (moving or still) is like saying human beings need air to breathe. It just goes without saying, doesn’t it? Well apparently the guys who ran in and snagged Paris Hilton’s storage locker a ways back when she forgot to pay the $208 bill have launched a website (ParisExposed.com) to sell their ill-gotten gains. What exactly are they hawking? More sex videos, over 250 personal and private videos, Paris indulging in a little illegal substances, diary entries, and videos of Paris indulging in female lovin’. Oh my.

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