Who is Phoebe Price, you ask? Well I don’t know either, but according to Wikipedia, she’s an actress and model who has appeared in The X-Files, Arliss, and starred in the direct-to-DVD movie “The Junkyard Willie Movie: Lost in Transit”, which I think you’ll agree was a diamond in the direct-to-DVD rough. Okay, so I haven’t seen it yet, but after spotting Phoebe Price in these bikini pics, you can be rest assured I’m running out and getting a copy later today. Or steal it from my next door neighbor. He never pays attention anyways. Check out Phoebe and her bikini hotness. And she’s a redhead, too. Double yum.

You don’t need me to tell you that former “X-Men” star Anna Paquin is all grown up. If you’ve seen any episodes of the HBO vampire show True Blood, you already know that. On the show, Anna Paquin plays the love interest to a vampire, and things get a little, well, horizontal on the show. What I’m trying to say is, it’s HBO, and Anna shows pretty much everything on the show, including vampire-on-human action. It’s all pretty hot, I gotta say. Anyways, here’s Anna Paquin in Self Magazine, showing off her bikini body. Okay, the last pic isn’t a bikini pic, but look, her legs are in the air. I mean, damn, that’s worth it, right?

You know, I don’t think I’ve actually ever ate at a Carl’s Jr. joint. I mean, I don’t think there’s even one where I live, and it’s not like I live in the sticks or anything. We’re a pretty metropolitan place where I reside, this place I call home. Maybe that explains why I’ve never actually seen a Carl’s Jr. commercial on TV, cause we don’t have one, and whenever I hear about a new outrageous Carl’s Jr. burger commercial, it’s always on the news. The latest has Audrina Patridge in a bikini eating a burger. Does she really eat a burger, Carl Jr.’s or otherwise? Doubtful. But since she’s in a bikini, I’m willing to believe her. I’m easy that way.

The jury’s still out on whether British babe Sienna Miller can actually act, but you know what’s not in doubt? That is one fine looking British lass you got there. Add to that nice bod the spitfire attitude and devil-may-care personality, and you got a pretty winning fantasy date in Sienna Miller. Sure, you probably won’t want to bring her home to momma, but there’s nothing that says you gotta take the girl home, right? Definitely high maintenance, I would imagine, but for a week or two, man, that might possibly be the best time of your life. Anyhoo, I’m daydreaming again. Sienna Miller bikini pics below.

So actress Anna Faris (you remember her, the blonde cutie from the “Scary Movie” movies?) recently eloped with some guy who isn’t anywhere in her league, and the duo went to Hawaii for their honeymoon. That means, of course, beach bikini pics from Anna Faris. Now the worst part about this? The fact that Anna Faris has married a guy who isn’t anywhere in her league, and just how often do you think the poor dude will be hearing this from this point on? Everytime people see the two together, all people will be thinking is, “Look, he’s so not in her league”. Then again, he gets to hit that ass at night, so maybe being mocked by the world is a small price to pay.

Because Tuesday is known for only two things, work and working, here is some Kristen Bell to lighten up your work load. Don’t blame me if it builds up another load. I’m talking about all your coca cola intact, of course, which you’ll be drinking way too much off because you’re trying to cool yourself down after gawking at these bikini pictures of Kristen Bell. No idea where she is or what’s going on, but it’s Kristen Bell, it’s bikinis, it’s at the beach, and that’s good enough for me. I’m easy to please that way. All the girls say so, just ask them. Better yet, don’t.

You know, I used to think that Twitter was bullshit. I mean, come on, do you really care what 99.9% of these people who are tweeting on a daily basis are doing hour to hour? Then the celebrities came along, and suddenly Twitter became THE destination to tell all their fans about what they’re doing, where they’re going, and what color their latest bikini is. Such as Jewel, who twittered this bikini pic of herself. Man, I love Twitter. As that Borat guy would say, eeees nice!

This Monday is brought to you by Amy Smart in a bikini from an appearance in Shape Magazine from 2005. I had no idea Shape Magazine was around since 2005, but hey, always nice to know one of the best magazines out there has been convincing hot celebs to strip down into a bikini for a while now. Amy Smart, of course, is the star of “Crank” and its sequel, and was in the horror movie “Mirrors”. She hasn’t really broken into the American consciousness yet, but one assumes it’s only a matter of time. Hot women with acting talent should not be ignored, America! Anyhoo. Check her out in a bikini from Shape.

Kim Kardashian has cellulite! Hey, don’t blame me, that’s coming from Kim Kardashian herself, on the recent issue of Life and Style Magazine. Mind you, not that I go around picking up copies of Life and Style Magazine, but this one happens to have Kim Kardashian’s big ol booty on the cover wearing a bikini, and you know me and celebrities in bikinis. I can’t say No to them, even if they have cellulite, as Kim Kardashian declares here. Now I can’t really see any cellulite on Kim’s bountiful body, and who cares, really. More cushion for the pushin’, as the brothas say in the ‘hood.

We Yanks are just now about to get our daily dose of the Reality TV show I’m a Celebrity Get me Out of Here with a host of, well, pretty lame dumbasses, but the Brits have been doing the show for a while now. In the 2006 season, model Gemma Atkinson was one of the contestants, and although I don’t know if she won or not, she sure cut a mighty fine figure running around the beach in a bikini. I don’t know how the show works, but if it’s dependent on people calling in an voting for their favorites, I can’t see Gemma Atkinson not having won. That body in that bikini is just out of this world, man.

I’m not entirely sure what Hayden Panettiere was doing at Cannes, France over the week, but hey, I’m not complaining. Hell, the cowboy hat even looks good on her. Then again, when you’re wearing a bikini and look as good as our little cheerleader does in these photos from Cannes, you could be wearing a ski mask and people would still be saying, “Damn, that’s some hot girl under that ski mask!” Not a big fan of the tattoo, though, especially getting it along the side ribcage like that. What’s the deal with hot girls getting tattoos in bad places, anyway? I blame it on Megan Fox.

So, did Danica Patrick finally win a race? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I do know that Danica Patrick keeps showing off the body in those Godaddy.com ads and in magazines like this latest appearance in Shape magazine. She’s wearing a bikini, of course, which is a must for every celebrity show shows up on the cover. Inside the magazine, you get Danica Patrick’s daily exercise routine, which apparently involves playing around with a yellow ball. Huh, that’s all it takes to look that good? Damn, and here I am going to the gym. Stupid gym.

Leighton Meester is one of the stars of that show about girls and how they like to talk gossip with each other. Or something to that effect. In any case, it’s one of those teen shows on the CW where no one over 15 years old actually watches, or if you do, then you’re probably a little lame and should be tarred and feathered. But hey, maybe I’m being overly critical, seeing as how Leighton Meester is one of the stars, and she looks pretty darn good. Here’s Leighton at the beach showing off a not-entirely-bad body in a bikini. Maybe I should start watching Gossip Girl…

Who knew that after fifty kids, Kelly Ripa would still look like a million bucks? Nah, forget about a million bucks, I’d pay a gazillion bucks for that body. Mind you, I wouldn’t know what to do with the body, but I would definitely know what to do with the woman. I’m talking about making her make me cake, of course. I hear Kelly Ripa is a very good baker. When she’s not at the pool parading around in a two-piece bikini, that is. Kelly Ripa is 39 years old, but she has the body an 18-year old would kill for. At least, the 18-year olds I know. Mind you, not that I spend a lot of time with 18-year olds. Ahem. What was I saying? Oh right, Kelly Ripa bikini pictures. MILF-licious!

It took a while, but blonde beauty Teri Polo finally got her just due when she co-starred as Ben Stiller’s fiance in the comedy “Meet the Parents”. Granted, that movie’s success was about Stiller looking like a jackass and Robert De Niro being a douche, but still, you gotta have the eye candy, and Teri Polo was as nice an eye candy as any in that flick. As such, your Weekend Send-off for this week is brought to you courtesy of some very eye-pleasing Teri Polo pictures. I’m not sure what Teri was doing showing off that fantastic body in a two-piece bikini, but God bless her for doing it.

Shouldn’t celebrities be, like, working or something, instead of jetting off to Hawaii to splash around in a bikini every other month? Yes, but only the fat and ugly ones. The pretty and thin ones like Ashley Tisdale should definitely jet to Hawaii every chance they get so photos of them in a bikini can flood the Internet. There are only three things worth logging on everyday for on this here Interwebs: your daily dose of my awesome gibberish, finding out who just won those sports games you were too lazy to watch so you can go to work tomorrow and pretend like you saw the game, and getting new, daily updates of which celebrity is doing the bikini thang. Dude, having a high speed Internet connection rocks.

Sure, the career’s gone down the tube, she’s looking mighty thin lately, but aside from all that, on the scale of Totally Doable and Not Even With a 10-Foot Pole, you know damn well you would without a moment’s hesitation. Plus, all that bad girl stuff she’s been getting to just makes her all that much more adorable. In the sense that “adorable” means you really want to knock them boots, but you’re not so sure about leaving her alone in your bathroom going through your medicine cabinet. Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures at the park, cause why the hell not.

I don’t read a whole lot of what you would call chick magazines (I’m a manly man, so of course I only read magazines about sports and guns and other manly man magazines), but if I did, I would have to pick up Self and Shape, because how could you not support mainstream magazines that are able to convince their pretty cover model/pretty actresses to slip on a bikini and post for us? That’s just going beyond the call of duty to please the boys there, folks. Granted, it’s all done under the aegis of showing off your womanly curves, but whatever works. Here’s Vanessa Hudgens in a bikini on the cover of the May issue of Self Magazine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do something with myself…

How do you go from being the joke of the town one year to one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood the next? Well if you’re Britney Spears and you have a lot of money, it’s probably not too hard. When your entire job is waking up and going out to sing once or twice a month, you have plenty of time to hit the gym, or bring the gym to you. And oh yeah, I hear the doctors in Hollywood are better than the average doctor in the rest of the world. And failing all that, there’s always photoshopping. Not saying that’s what’s going on here in these Candies ads featuring the fallen pop princess, but I gotta tell you, I’d hit that like she was on fire.

You don’t get any better than Tuesdays with fresh Kelly Brook bikini pictures. Actually, there is one thing that would be better, and that’s if you were actually on the beach with Kelly Brook as she was doing that whole frolicking thing. Yeah, that would definitely be better. But failing that, eh, these bikini pics of the lovely British lass running about the very wet beach is still pretty awesome, too. And hey, you can always pretend you’re there with her. Just make sure your boss isn’t around when you do. Glassed over eyes and a big stupid grin are dead giveaways that you’re not really working.