Nicollette Sheridan is Still a Bikini Hottie
The only time I’m aware that the TV show Desperate Housewives is even still on the air is when ABC shows promos for it whenever the show is about to start another new season. I would actually try to watch the bloody thing, except I have a penis, and I’m not allowed to watch and enjoy such a show. Having said that, there is one thing about Desperate Housewives that I have no problems enjoying — Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini, proving once again that age ain’t got nothing on this hardbody. Now the pessimist in me says that Nicollette Sheridan has her doctor’s number on speed dial, because how else does a 45-year old woman maintain such a body; but the optimist in me says, “Who gives a shit?” And now, to the main event: Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini. You have GOT to be kidding.
Olivia Munn Goes Bikini in Japan
It must be nice to be the host of a TV show. You get to be on TV, which is always great for picking up chicks at bars (nothing breaks the ice like, “Hey, babe, I’m on TV; wanna go do it in the alley?”), people put make-up on you for you, your clothes are chosen and laid out for you before you even wake up, and food is always ready when you need it. Plus, you get to travel to Japan where you can lounge about the hotel pool in a two-piece bikini. Obviously I’m going to bypass the whole bikini thing; I’m more of a one-piece swimsuit man. Anyways, Olivia Munn, host of G4’s Attack of the Show, was in Japan doing something and was nice enough to snap these bikini pics for her loyal geek fanbase. God bless you, Olivia Munn, always thinking of us even when you’re half a world away…
Michelle Hunziker Has No Use for Body Fat
Screw your body fat and cellulite, Swiss model, actress, singer, and the object of boys’ wet dreams everywhere Michelle Hunziker has no use for any of that. And I would like to congratulate Michelle for taking such a strong stance against such a popular thing; you know, it takes courage to tell fat that you want no part of it. It’s like me back in High School; when the kids would go into the restroom to smoke their Mary Jane and what have you, I would just say, “No, not interested, the only high I need is life.” And look at me now! Sitting in my pajamas typing this in my parent’s basement. Would I have all this if I had taken a puff? I think not! Anyways, here’s Michelle Hunziker showing off her stand against body fat at the beach. You go, girl.
The Bikini Wonders of Elisabetta Gregoraci
Oh, Elisabetta Gregoraci , is there anything you can’t do? Like fly a jet, drive a race car, married an old dude who is way too old for you, and look stunning in a two-piece bikini while frolicking about on the beach? I’m sure there’s nothing this woman can’t do. In fact, if she were to become President of the World (I hear the election is coming up soon; I’m definitely voting THIS time!), there would be world peace. All she would have to do is slip on the bikini and flash those nice tight abs and BAM! Peace on Earth. Just like that, baby. Just as easy like that. Anyways, here are some Elisabetta Gregoraci bikini pictures. You’re welcome.
Shauna Sand’s Ridiculously Hot Bikini Body
You know, if you were to ask me what the hell Shauna Sand does for a living, I don’t know if I could have told you. I think she used to be married to Lorenzo Lamas from the TV show Renegade, and before that she made an appearance in Playboy. (Most girls who have been in Playboy gets those playboy bunny tattoos, which Shauna Sand has.) And in-between divorcing Lamas and showing up on the beach in an itty bitty bikini looking ridiculously hot, I think she does modeling and puts out calendars. Not really sure about the calendars, as I don’t have one, but I’m reasonably certain she models for a living. And if I’m wrong about that, er, does it matter? Shauna Sand is in a tiny bikini on the beach. Ignore the ridiculously puffy lips and enjoy the ridiculously hot bod.
Olesya Rulin Bikini Pictures
If you thought Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens were the only two hotties to be found in the Disney Channel’s inexplicably popular movie franchise “High School Musical”, you’re wrong. There’s also Olesya Rulin, who plays the geeky songstress in the movies. I haven’t a clue what her character’s name is, but she’s the dorky one who writes the songs in the first movie. I think. In real life, Olesya Rulin is a surprisingly cute little thing (don’t worry, she’s in her ’20s), and here are bikini pictures of her doing, from what I can tell, something about not littering. It’s probably very green and nice, but never you mind that. She’s in a two-piece bikini and looking quite nice. Must…pick up…garbage…
The Bikini Awesomeness of Ali Larter
In case you haven’t figured it out by now by watching NBC’s hit show Heroes, but Ali Larter is one awesomely hot woman. How awesomely hot? So much so that I don’t even mind making up a word like “awesomely” and using them not once, not twice, but now three times in this post without feeling the least bit stupid for it. Yeah, she’s that awesomely hot. (Four times!) So check Ali Larter out in a two-piece itty bitty bikini doing her thing with some dogs at the beach. Stupid dogs. I wish I was a furry little creature with four legs. I bet they get to cuddle with her in bed and other stuff. Damn stupid, lucky dogs…
Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures are Back, Baby!
When was the last time we got bikini pictures of Kate Beckinsale at the beach? It seems like ages ago. Back in the day, you couldn’t go a day or two without seeing Kate Beckinsale pictures popping up all over the net. Oh sure, she still goes to all the usual Hollywood stuff — you know, movie premieres, openings, etc, but to get bikini candid shots of the lovely English lass? That’s a rare occasion nowadays. Thankfully they’ve returned, and in style, too. So how does Kate Beckinsale look after all these months? Um, how about absolutely frakkin’ unbelievable? That succinct enough for ya? Kate Beckinsale bikini pictures. Please to ogle.
Anna Kournikova Back in Maxim
Ah, women’s tennis. Let’s face it, unless you were born with a tennis racket in your hand and lives and dies by the sport, you’ll probably agree with me that the best thing tennis has ever done was give us some really smoking hot female tennis players. The original was, and still is, the best in my opinion — none other than Russian Goddess Anna Kournikova, who, I believe, has still never won a major title, but never you mind that inconsequential stuff. What is important is that Anna Kournikova is back on the cover and in the pages of the most recent Maxim issue, and oh yes oh my, she is looking awfully good once again…
Sophie Monk is a Beach Going Bikini Babe
Now I’m not a hot chick, so I don’t know what hot chicks do when they head off to the beach in a skimpy two-piece bikini, but I’m guessing that from these pictures, Australian babe turned L.A. transplant Sophie Monk is probably wearing eyeliner. Or some sort of mascara. I don’t even know if those are the same thing, being a guy and all, and so totally hetero and what have you. Heck, her eyes may just be naturally dark that way. Anyways, not that I mind, or care to find out, or even investigate further. We’re talking about the gorgeous Sophie Monk in bikini wear strutting her stuff on the beaches of California. What, we’re gonna spend all our time wondering what she’s wearing around her eyes? Are you friggin’ nuts? Please to ogle.
Bar Refaeli Bikini Pictures
Isn’t posting pictures of supermodels vacation on beaches while wearing nothing but itty bitty bikinis kind of like finding a tape of a prostitute doing what prostitutes do best, i.e. earn her money? That is, isn’t it a little anti-climactic? Haven’t we seen Bar Refaeli at least a million times in a bikini? Or sometimes, even less than a bikini? So really, are these pictures of her in a vacation spot really all that big of a deal? Sure, she’s hot and all, and that body sure looks awesomely awesome, but I find myself being a tad … underwhelmed. Sigh. Maybe I should … Oh who am I kidding. Psyche! Bar Refaeli is looking goooooooooood. Please to ogle.
Behind-the-Scenes of Anna Kournikova’s Bikini Shoot
Good news for fans of hot Russian tennis players, because it looks like Anna Kournikova is doing a bikini photoshoot. I haven’t a clue who it’s for, or what magazine, but she’s doing one, and here are some behind-the-scenes pics to prove it. Now you may be wondering, does Anna Kournikova still qualifies as a tennis player? Um, does it matter? To be honest with you, I’d rather not listen to female tennis players as they’re playing, anyway. All that grunting sounds good when they’re alone with you in your basement, but let’s face it, having to listen to it on the TV is unbearable. Okay, so a little grunting on TV is good, but not THIS much. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, we can look forward to a Anna Kournikova bikini spread sometime in the future. Until then, these will have to do.
Audrina Patridge and her Hills are Worth Ogling
You can say a lot of things about the girls of MTV’s The Hills, but one thing you can’t say about them is that they don’t make themselves available for the camera, and looking their best doing it, too. Okay, so maybe one or two of the Hills gals are too good to be modeling bikinis on a beach or at the pool, but that’s their problem. We’re delighted that Audrina Patridge knows what she’s got, and doesn’t mind showing it off to the world. And really, when what you have looks this good, why would you want to hide it? Exactly. Now if you don’t mind, check out them hills! (Yes, I will never get tired of using that pun when it comes to the girls of The Hills. That’s just how I roll, brotha.)
Teresa Palmer in a Gold Bikini from the set of Bedtime Stories
American audiences probably have no idea who Teresa Palmer is, but that should change when the Australian babe shows up in a gold bikini in Adam Sandler’s new comedy “Bedtime Stories”. In the film, Sandler plays a hotel handyman whose made-up bedtime stories starts to come true. Apparently one of those stories include Sandler as a Roman soldier with Teresa Palmer in a gold bikini on a beach. Hey, I know I dream about that, too. Minus the Adam Sandler and Roman soldier part, of course. Anyways, here’s Teresa Palmer. The girl is only in her early 20s, and isn’t exactly a fitness freak, but there’s a lot of potential there, alright. Lovely face, to boot.
Great Bikini Pictures of Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett
What are the chances that we’ll see OUR Miss Whatever slipping on the two-piece bikini and going for a stroll on the beach while they’re still wearing their precious little crown? Not a chance in hell would be my guess. Or at least, I haven’t seen it happen yet outside of a sanctioned beauty pageant. Yup, that’s how anal ass tight we are over here. The Brits, on the other hand? Free as a bird, apparently. Or at least, their beauty queens are. You’ve got them showing up in men’s magazines, modeling, and here’s Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett showing off her bikini body. Now that’s a beauty queen!
Italian Babe Elisabetta Canalis Brings her Bikini Goodness to Miami
Apparently tired of giving the Italians an eyeful of that wonderful body of hers, model, actress, and all-around hot babe Elisabetta Canalis wandered over to the States earlier this month to show off that ridiculously perfect bikini body. And what’s this? I don’t see a man anywhere within sight of her, and let’s face it, if you came to Miami with a bikini-clad Elisabetta Canalis, there is no way in hell you’re letting her out of your site — or a 5 feet radius from you. Let’s face it, men, if we knew Elisabetta Canalis was here all by her perfect bodied little lonesome, we’d be all over Miami. Of course, we’d have to get some time off from our night shift at the Burger King, but you know, we’d make it happen. Elisabetta Canalis bikini pics. Please to ogle.
Happy Fourth of July, America
Let’s face it, America rocks. If you don’t agree, then you’re probably not one of us (you poor bastard), or you are one and if you still disagree, then you’re a self-hating douche bag. Either way, go fuck yourself. And now, our daily dose of celebrities looking smoking hot in American flag themed bikini ensembles. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s probably not such a good idea to turn our precious American flag into a frakkin’ bikini, or any other article of clothing for that matter, but just for THIS ONE TIME, we’re going to look the other way. Please to enjoy. (And try not to blow off your fingers throwing dynamites at your bratty nephews, ya bums. Happy Fourth of July!)
Marla Maples and her Bikini Loves America
You gotta love Marla Maples. She’s 44-years old and counting, but she doesn’t look a day over, uh, 39? Fact is, some woman just look good aging, and Marla is certainly one of those. Tell me she’s not out there on the prowl every night, waiting to pounce on the nearest fresh meat that wanders into her cougar radar. If you were looking for a good example of why we should not only indulge, but encourage cougars to prowl the streets of America, Marla Maples is that example. And oh yeah, she also loves America, hence the American flag waving while on the beach with a bikini. Yup, this doesn’t look staged at all. Mind you, not that I’m complaining. Hotness in a bikini never needs to apologize. Happy Fourth of July, America!
Ashley Tisdale’s Bikini Pictures Make a Comeback
Around the same time this year, Ashley Tisdale treated us to some very nice bikini pictures, and yes, that body was just as nice as we always suspected that it would be. As someone who has probably seen one The Suite Life of Zack and Cody more than humanly necessary for an adult male (hey, it’s not my fault, I have nephews, and they basically live on a steady diet of Disney Channel shows — yeah, that’s the ticket), I gotta admit, any chance to ogle bikini pictures of Ashley Tisdale is A-Okay in my book. Hey, if she didn’t want us to admire what’s underneath that clothes, she shouldn’t look so good. Yeah, that’s right, it’s all her fault. Whew, I’m glad we’re off the hook!
Kelly Ripa Bikini Pictures from Hamptons Magazine
Will there ever come a time when I don’t stand at attention for a Kelly Ripa bikini picture? Um, probably not. Sure, eventually she’s going to get up there in age, but like us normal mortals, I’m not sure if age is going to keep Kelly Ripa from looking this awesomely awesome in a bikini spread. This is something she did for Hamptons Magazine, which she has done previously. No idea if this is a new issue, or an old one, or somewhere in-between, and frankly, I could care less. It’s Kelly Ripa, the bubbly queen of talk shows, showing off what God gave her and way too many hours in the gym turned into a nice, fine looking package. Cripes, Kelly Ripa is awesome hot.