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Danica Patrick 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

10 February 2009

Is it possible that Danica Patrick just keeps getting hotter with every Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue spread? Quite possibly. But if not, I choose to believe it anyway, and just go with it. Yes, I’m delusional that way. Speaking of delusional, what are the chances that I’ll bump into Danica Patrick in a crowded bar and she comes over to hit on me? I say it’s about 50-50. I’m really dashing and junk in a dark room. Or at least, that’s what Ed tells me, and Ed never lies about such things. Anyhoo. Here’s Danica Patrick back in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I know the whole draped over the car in a bikini is to associate her with her professional of car racing, although I don’t know why, cause the woman is just flat out hot, car racing or not.

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Bar Refaeli 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

10 February 2009

Your 2009 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model is none other than Israel’s Bar Refaeli, otherwise known as that really hot supermodel chick who even Palestinians would get a boner for, even though she’s Israeli, and thus, must be hated and shun and if given the chance, stoned. Yes, Bar Refaeli is that hot. Or maybe you know her more as the chick that Leonardo DiCaprio is putting it to on a nightly basis, at least when he’s not wandering off and putting it to another supermodel behind her back. Hey, Bar, if Leo ever cheats on you and you find out, you know what would really piss him off? Hopping into the sack with a sad perv like me. Call me! Here is Bar Refaeli’s SI shoot. Buy the issue when it hits the stands. You know you wanna.

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Some Alessandra Ambrosio for Monday

9 February 2009

So what’s worst than Monday? Having to drag yourself out of bed and get into that shower (which is always too damn cold, am I right or am I right?), then trudge on over to the bar and begin the long, long drive to work, all the while knowing that you have to do this four more times before the week is over and the weekend is here again. Yup, Mondays suck. But you know what doesn’t suck? Alessandra Ambrosio bikini pictures from back when she was somewhere doing the bikini thing and someone was there to snap the pictures. God bless whoever invented the camera. You rock, man, you really rock.

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Jaime Pressly Bikini Pictures in Shape Magazine

3 February 2009

Being married to a famous actress rocks. First, you’ve got that whole “my wife’s a famous actress, what does your wife do?” thing going on for ya, but to top it off, she’s never out of shape or never looking good. Well, for the most part. Even when she squirts out a kid, there is an army of personal trainers to put her back into shape, just like the hottie you married. Of course, finding a famous actress to get hitched to is the hard part, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out. In the meantime, here’s Jaime Pressly of My name is Earl fame in the latest issue of Shape Magazine showing off that nice body and how she gets it. In a word, personal trainers. In two words, hot.

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The Incredibly Fit Miss America 2009 Katie Stam

28 January 2009

So apparently the Miss USA pageant was held last weekend on some basic cable channel that no one watched. Or at least, I didn’t watch, because I didn’t know Katie Stam from Indiana had been crowned Miss America until these bikini pictures of her showed up on the Internet. And yes, I’m pretty sure that Katie Stam might just be the most fit (some would say TOO fit) winner in the history of the Miss USA pageant. I could be wrong, of course, but I don’t think girls looked like Katie Stam, oh, 20 or even 10 years ago. Not sure how she’s going to fare at the Miss Universe (or is that Miss World? Well, one of those) pageants later in the year, but if those bikini pictures are any indication, she could certainly take them ALL on at once.

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The Bachelor’s Melissa Rycroft Bikini Pictures

27 January 2009

If you don’t watch ABC’s The Bachelor Reality TV show, then you’re missing out on some Melissa Rycroft goodness. Who is Melissa Rycroft you ask? Well she’s a really attractive girl who did a lot of modeling before showing up on The Bachelor. And before that, she was also a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Now most people would prefer to see a hot girl in a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, but me, I prefer them in a bikini. Call me crazy, but a bikini just looks better than a cheerleader outfit. Okay, so maybe that’s not too crazy, which means I’m perfectly normal. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Anyhoo. Check out some Melissa Rycroft bikini pictures and gawk your ass off.

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Rihanna Bikini Pictures in GQ

27 January 2009

Don’t ask me to name any of Rihanna’s songs, because I haven’t a clue. But you know what I do have a clue about? These bikini pictures of Rihanna in the recent issue of GQ magazine are pretty sweet. In fact, these pictures are so great, I’ve just run out to the music store and bought a Rihanna CD and I intend to listen to it. Oh who am I kidding. I don’t have money to buy music, silly! I actually just went next door and stole my neighbor’s Rihanna CD, which is pretty amazing, considering my neighbor is deaf and doesn’t even own a CD player. Go figure! Anyways, Rihanna in bikini in GQ. Not crazy about the hair, though, but oh well.

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Gabrielle Anwar Bikini Pictures from Burn Notice

26 January 2009

If you’re one of those people who thinks Gabrielle Anwar is about 10 pounds short of looking perfect, I don’t know if I would disagree with you. Sure, she’s a tad thin, but you gotta admit, thin sorta fits Gabrielle Anwar. She was never the tallest or biggest girl to come out of Hollywood, so what did we expect, she would get suddenly fat? As these images from the most recent episode of Burn Notice proves, Gabrielle Anwar and her uber tight body are two major reasons to watch Burn Notice. Okay, so the show is pretty cool, too, but you gotta admit, it wouldn’t be nearly as watchable without Gabrielle Anwar strutting around in those tight dresses and, in this episode, bikini. Oh my.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Knows How to Wear a Bikini, Too

26 January 2009

Alessandra Ambrosio would like you kids out there to know that Marisa Miller and Miranda Kerr aren’t the only Victoria’s Secret supermodels to be hitting the beach over the weekend, as she spent the weekend doing likewise, showing off that certain something that has made her millions over the years. I’m of course talking about her brains. Isn’t that what all supermodels are known for? Their brains? Okay, sorry, even I can’t keep going with that, that’s how ridiculous it sounded. Anyways, here’s Alessandra Ambrosio getting all bikini-licious and probably getting a man or two slapped in the face as they inadvertently stared for too long and got caught by their girlfriend or wife. Sorry, boys, but what hurts you doesn’t hurt me none!

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Another Day, Another Round of Marisa Miller Bikini Pictures

22 January 2009

I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I am so sick and tired of posting pictures of Marisa Miller in a bikini flaunting her God given assets. Okay, Marisa, we get it, you’re hot (I mean really, really hot) but can you please keep yourselves covered for at least one day? God, it’s like, every single day, we gotta be seeing her in a bikini or in lingerie or something. Frankly, it’s getting a little old — JUST KIDDING! What are we, retarded? The day we can’t appreciate Marisa Miller in a bikini at the beach is the day I close up this site and go into the priesthood. Having said that — Marisa Miller bikini pictures at the beach! There IS a God, after all.

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Miranda Kerr Gets in on the Bikini Action

21 January 2009

So girls, has this ever happened to you? Your boyfriend/husband/lesbian lover invites you to the beach, and you think, “Cool, this is the perfect time to show off my brand new Jenny Craig body! Thanks, Jenny Craig!” And as soon as you arrive at the beach, who is already there, but a Victoria’s Secret supermodel in an itty bitty bikini? Man, talk about a bummer! Granted, Miranda Kerr is no Marisa Miller, and her body, though quite nice, is not the tight, incredible physique of a Marisa, but it’s not like we’re looking at chop liver here, kids. Check out Miranda Kerr getting in on the bikini action in a public beach. What are the chances that you’ll run into a Victoria’s Secret supermodel at the beach? Probably better than average if you’ve been stalking her. If not, then not so much.

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American Idol Season 8’s Other Bikini Babe Katrina Darrell

20 January 2009

I don’t know who is running the show over there at American Idol this year, but they sure are doing a lot of things right. First, adding the really hot fourth judge certainly helps. How many times can you look at Simon Cowell’s man nipples, Paula Abdul’s utterly insane eyes, and Randy Jackson’s stupid stupidity before you get fed up? In Season 8, the producers have spiced up the show with a new, hot judge and they’re showing off a ton of really easy-on-the-eyes contestants, including the aforementioned former bikini model turned singer Casey Carlson, and of course, Katrina Darrell. Who is Katrina Darrell? She’s the girl who went to the audition in a two-piece bikini. Yeah, it takes a lot of gumption to do that, kids. Gumption and a hot body, of course. Looking forward to more of that bikini — er, I mean, her singing voice!

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American Idol’s Latest Hot Babe Casey Carlson Bikini Pictures

15 January 2009

If you were watching American Idol last night, you might have noticed an incredibly cute girl with a great voice named Casey Carlson. Okay, maybe you noticed, but your eyes didn’t bug out by how hot she was. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault, your eyes are just fine. The problem is that Casey Carlson was wearing way too much clothing during the audition. But apparently it wasn’t always that way, because Casey Carlson used to be a bikini model, and once upon a time she modeled for the site Campus Girls USA in a swimsuit and bikini, and yes, I think you can guess which pictures we’re going to be going for, the swimsuit or the bikini? Um, let’s see. Yeah, let’s go with the bikini pics. Oh my! Check out more of Casey in her half-naked best over at Campus Girls USA.

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Kate Hudson + Bikini = Not a Bad Wednesday

14 January 2009

Kate Hudson bikini pictures are always cause for concern. New Kate Hudson bikini pictures make me want to jump on my dinner table and jump for joy. Which, let me say, would be a a pretty incredible feat, especially since I don’t own a dinner table, or has ever been close to one. I take my food from a bowl on the couch, in case you were wondering. That’s just how we roll in the Random Page Household, bitches. But where was I? Oh right, some new Kate Hudson bikini pictures for you boyos. These aren’t nearly the gangbuster hotness of the previous ones from last year, but you know, Kate Hudson is a mother a couple of times over, and that’s still a pretty rocking body, kids.

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Lindsay Lohan Rocks a Bikini Like it’s 2006

12 January 2009

Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. Wow. When was the last time we saw this? I remember it well. Way back in the summer of 2006. Back when you couldn’t go a day without Lindsay parading around in a different itty bitty bikini. Back then, ol Lindsay was feeling her oats something mighty, and could care less if the world got a glimpse of her many, oh so many freckles. She was hot, alright, and she knew it, and she wanted you to know and appreciate it too. Nowadays, all you hear from Lindsay is how she’s trying to quit the booze and drugs and how she’s dating some lesbian DJ chick. You know, totally uninteresting stuff from a male point of view. I mean, God, the lesbian chick is uglier than some of the guys that regularly cranks one off to those stripper scenes from “I Know Who Killed Me”, for God’s sake. But wait — Lindsay is back in a bikini in 2009! Hallelujah! Now maybe she can trade up for a lipstick lesbian. Can you say, instant threesome fantasies?

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90210’s AnnaLynne McCord Rocks a Bikini

8 January 2009

You may have heard, but word is the girls on the new version of the Beverly Hills 90210 show are a tad, shall we say, thin. Okay, let’s admit it, people have downright accused them of being anorexic. Now I haven’t watched the show enough to say either way, but I did see these bikini pictures of one of the girls, AnnaLynne McCord, and she doesn’t look all that bad. Except for that one picture where she’s reaching up to catch the ball, and you can basically count every single ribcage the girl has, but as for the rest of the pics, not too bad. Maybe she’s just naturally thin? It could be. Of course I wouldn’t know, being that I have a perfect body since birth. Yes, I’m a God. What of it? Anyways, bikini pics of AnnaLynne McCord.

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Olivia Munn’s Hawaii Bikini Pictures

6 January 2009

How could you not dig Olivia Munn? You would have to be two shades of retarded not to think that Olivia Munn is a pretty groovy gal. Besides the fact that she looks good in a two-piece bikini, but she seems to know what the boys like, and has no problems giving it to them, as evidence by these bikini pictures of our Gal Geek taken in Hawaii and posted on her blog HeyOlivia, which I’m assuming is what she hears a lot at nerd conventions, probably followed by, “…will you go home to meet my mom? She doesn’t believe we’re dating!” These bikini pics were posted under the title of “First batch of Hawaii Photos”, which means there are more to come. Joy joy!

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Kristen Bell’s Bikini Welcomes You Back

30 December 2008

Yeah, yeah, I know I said I wouldn’t be posting again until the new year, but you know what? Some things just can’t wait. One of those things are pictures of Kristen Bell in a two-piece bikini looking, as the kids would say, all hot and shit. As a fan of Kristen Bell bikini pictures, I can tell you that you don’t run across these very often. Okay, so maybe you do run across them quite often, as our little Kristen Bell is not exactly the shy kind. You saw a heck of a lot of her in a bikini in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, and you’re guaranteed to see more of her in a bikini in her new movie, a romantic comedy called “Couples Retreat”. Yep, that’s right: Kristen Bell is so cool, she did a couple of crappy romantic comedies just so you could go see her in the movie theater, while telling your imaginary girlfriend from Canada that you’re actually treating her to a chick flick! Oh, Kristen, is there nothing you won’t do for us men?

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Jaime Murray Bikini Scene from Valentine

4 December 2008

On her new CW TV show Valentine, hot to trot British import Jaime Murray plays Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, whose job is to make people fall in love. And you know something? The real Aphrodite WISHES she could look as hot as Jaime Murray. Here’s that bikini scene from a recent episode, which has Jaime Murray lounging about an outdoor pool before getting up to answer a call, revealing what can only be described as a truly incredible body covered in an itty bitty two-piece bikini. Oh my. And here I thought the only thing the CW was good for was to fill out my TV channels and every now and then air an episode of Supernatural. Jaime Murray bikini scene from Valentine ahoy!

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Julianne Hough Shape Bikini Pics

24 November 2008

Julianne Hough was in Shape Magazine a little whiles back, but being that I wasn’t paying attention, or was on a Julianne Hough kick back then, here she is in her bikini best on the cover and interior pages. Yes, we’re late, but as I like to say, better late than never. Which is right up there with my other favorite saying, “If it don’t hurt, then keep punching him until he’s bleeding out of his ears, cause he probably has it coming, and if he didn’t, well, tough cookies, biotch!” But where was I? Oh right, here’s Julianne Hough on Shape magazine. As with all the babes that show up on Shape, Julianne Hough is in a two-piece bikini and showing off her ability to stretch. God, dancers rule. Plus, a video of the shoot, cause I care, that’s why.

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