The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Audrina Patridge and her Hills are Worth Ogling

You can say a lot of things about the girls of MTV’s The Hills, but one thing you can’t say about them is that they don’t make themselves available for the camera, and looking their best doing it, too. Okay, so maybe one or two of the Hills gals are too good to be modeling bikinis on a beach or at the pool, but that’s their problem. We’re delighted that Audrina Patridge knows what she’s got, and doesn’t mind showing it off to the world. And really, when what you have looks this good, why would you want to hide it? Exactly. Now if you don’t mind, check out them hills! (Yes, I will never get tired of using that pun when it comes to the girls of The Hills. That’s just how I roll, brotha.)

Teresa Palmer in a Gold Bikini from the set of Bedtime Stories

American audiences probably have no idea who Teresa Palmer is, but that should change when the Australian babe shows up in a gold bikini in Adam Sandler’s new comedy “Bedtime Stories”. In the film, Sandler plays a hotel handyman whose made-up bedtime stories starts to come true. Apparently one of those stories include Sandler as a Roman soldier with Teresa Palmer in a gold bikini on a beach. Hey, I know I dream about that, too. Minus the Adam Sandler and Roman soldier part, of course. Anyways, here’s Teresa Palmer. The girl is only in her early 20s, and isn’t exactly a fitness freak, but there’s a lot of potential there, alright. Lovely face, to boot.

Great Bikini Pictures of Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett

What are the chances that we’ll see OUR Miss Whatever slipping on the two-piece bikini and going for a stroll on the beach while they’re still wearing their precious little crown? Not a chance in hell would be my guess. Or at least, I haven’t seen it happen yet outside of a sanctioned beauty pageant. Yup, that’s how anal ass tight we are over here. The Brits, on the other hand? Free as a bird, apparently. Or at least, their beauty queens are. You’ve got them showing up in men’s magazines, modeling, and here’s Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett showing off her bikini body. Now that’s a beauty queen!

Italian Babe Elisabetta Canalis Brings her Bikini Goodness to Miami

Apparently tired of giving the Italians an eyeful of that wonderful body of hers, model, actress, and all-around hot babe Elisabetta Canalis wandered over to the States earlier this month to show off that ridiculously perfect bikini body. And what’s this? I don’t see a man anywhere within sight of her, and let’s face it, if you came to Miami with a bikini-clad Elisabetta Canalis, there is no way in hell you’re letting her out of your site — or a 5 feet radius from you. Let’s face it, men, if we knew Elisabetta Canalis was here all by her perfect bodied little lonesome, we’d be all over Miami. Of course, we’d have to get some time off from our night shift at the Burger King, but you know, we’d make it happen. Elisabetta Canalis bikini pics. Please to ogle.

Happy Fourth of July, America

Let’s face it, America rocks. If you don’t agree, then you’re probably not one of us (you poor bastard), or you are one and if you still disagree, then you’re a self-hating douche bag. Either way, go fuck yourself. And now, our daily dose of celebrities looking smoking hot in American flag themed bikini ensembles. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s probably not such a good idea to turn our precious American flag into a frakkin’ bikini, or any other article of clothing for that matter, but just for THIS ONE TIME, we’re going to look the other way. Please to enjoy. (And try not to blow off your fingers throwing dynamites at your bratty nephews, ya bums. Happy Fourth of July!)

Marla Maples and her Bikini Loves America

You gotta love Marla Maples. She’s 44-years old and counting, but she doesn’t look a day over, uh, 39? Fact is, some woman just look good aging, and Marla is certainly one of those. Tell me she’s not out there on the prowl every night, waiting to pounce on the nearest fresh meat that wanders into her cougar radar. If you were looking for a good example of why we should not only indulge, but encourage cougars to prowl the streets of America, Marla Maples is that example. And oh yeah, she also loves America, hence the American flag waving while on the beach with a bikini. Yup, this doesn’t look staged at all. Mind you, not that I’m complaining. Hotness in a bikini never needs to apologize. Happy Fourth of July, America!

Ashley Tisdale’s Bikini Pictures Make a Comeback

Around the same time this year, Ashley Tisdale treated us to some very nice bikini pictures, and yes, that body was just as nice as we always suspected that it would be. As someone who has probably seen one The Suite Life of Zack and Cody more than humanly necessary for an adult male (hey, it’s not my fault, I have nephews, and they basically live on a steady diet of Disney Channel shows — yeah, that’s the ticket), I gotta admit, any chance to ogle bikini pictures of Ashley Tisdale is A-Okay in my book. Hey, if she didn’t want us to admire what’s underneath that clothes, she shouldn’t look so good. Yeah, that’s right, it’s all her fault. Whew, I’m glad we’re off the hook!

Kelly Ripa Bikini Pictures from Hamptons Magazine

Will there ever come a time when I don’t stand at attention for a Kelly Ripa bikini picture? Um, probably not. Sure, eventually she’s going to get up there in age, but like us normal mortals, I’m not sure if age is going to keep Kelly Ripa from looking this awesomely awesome in a bikini spread. This is something she did for Hamptons Magazine, which she has done previously. No idea if this is a new issue, or an old one, or somewhere in-between, and frankly, I could care less. It’s Kelly Ripa, the bubbly queen of talk shows, showing off what God gave her and way too many hours in the gym turned into a nice, fine looking package. Cripes, Kelly Ripa is awesome hot.

Michelle Hunziker is a Red Bikini Wearing Babe

Pictures of Michelle Hunziker in a bikini is nothing new. After all, when you’re this hot (naturally or not, does it matter? hotness is hotness), and as such you’d want to hit the beach as often as you can, and if a dozen or so paparazzi happens to show up to snap some pictures of you looking all kinds of good in your chosen choice of bikini, then who is getting hurt? Exactly. It’s the same explanation I use whenever my girlfriend catches me with her best friend, and the best friend just happens to be laying on the floor on her stomach, her ankles hog-tied behind her back because that’s just how she likes it, and me likeys to please the ladies. But I digress. Michelle Hunziker in bikini. HOT.

There’s Nothing Complicated about Denise Richards Bikini Pics

So Denise Richards, aka the former Mrs. Charlie “STD Machine” Sheen, has a Reality TV show on the E! Channel called It’s Complicated. Like all Reality TV shows about a specific celebrity, the show follows Denise Richards around Hollywood as she goes about doing, you know, stuff. Seriously, what do actors in Hollywood do all day besides going to see family members and friends and going rock climbing? It seems that every Reality TV show I see about a celebrity always has them going around doing stuff that has nothing to do with their chosen profession — i.e. acting, modeling, etc. Anyways, I thought I would explain the premise of this post’s title in case, you know, you guys cared. Eh. Denise Richards bikini pics. Please to ogle.

Gemma Atkinson Goes to the Beach

Besides looking like she was born to wear a two-piece bikini, British glamour model Gemma Atkinson also likes her some soccer players. Or football, as it’s known on that side of the pond. According to published reports (by which I mean all the tabloids that prints news that’s barely fit to print, but are printed just the same — hey, someone’s gotta do it), Gemma Atkinson has been linked to not one, or two, but five soccer players. She’s currently dating some bloke (as they say over there) who plays for the Wigan Athletic Football Club. Lucky bastard. Take a look at what he’s laying the wood on every night. Holy crap. I gotsa start playing me some soccer…

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in Bikinis Doing Stuff

If you were to ask me who Kourtney Kardashian is, and why she qualifies as being a celebrity, I would tell you that she’s the sister of Kim Kardashian, who has her own reality TV show on the E! Channel. Other than that, um, I have no Earthly idea why either one of these ladies qualifies as being celebrities, but they do have really big asses, which, shockingly, doesn’t prevent them from looking like gangbusters in two-piece bikinis. Check them out here, hanging around on a yacht or at the swimming pool or somewhere near water, which is just enough excuse they need to slip on a bikini and go out for a leisurely walk for the camera. God bless America.

Ashley Dupre Hits the Beach in a Bikini

Hey, remember Ashley Dupre? Or Ashley Alexandra Dupre? Or Kristen? Well, you know, the hooker who slept with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer for $2000 an hour and got him busted and kicked out of the Governor’s Mansion? Yeah, that girl. Well she recently hit the beach in a two-piece bikini to remind you what $2000 an hour gets you, and I have to admit, even long after her 15 minutes of infamy has passed, Ashley Dupre still looks pretty damn good. And the woman with her? That’s her mom. Yup. 46 years old and still kicking it hot. I guess we now know that Ashley will be able to charge $2000 an hour for a little while longer if mom is any indication. Whatever happened to that singing career, by the way…?

Sundays on the Beach with Cora Skinner

If model and kinda actress Cora Skinner does end up being a regular on MTV’s fake Reality TV show The Hills, then there is a very good reason I might actually tune into that thing just to ogle her. Now you may be asking yourself, am I really that shallow and superficial? Oh hell yes, especially when the object of my shallowness and superficialness looks as insanely awesome as Cora Skinner does in a two-piece bikini. Check her out at the beach. See, this is how she usually looks when we head out to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the beach together, although she sometimes prefer black bikinis — wait, what? Where am I? Oh right, wide awake. Damn. Anyhoo. This is Cora Skinner, she’s a model, and bikinis were made for girls like her.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Fitness Bikini Cover

Let’s face it, unless you’re a 40-year old housewife, there’s absolutely no reason why you should ever, EVER, watch ABC’s The View program. Come on, how much of the inane chatter that goes on on that show, and at such high decibels, and any sane person take before they blow out their own brains? But if you absolutely had to watch The View (say, your girlfriend or your dog forces you to watch it with them), then there’s at least Elisabeth Hasselbeck to focus your entire conversation on. In a show full of old, nagging hags, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the one hotness that makes an otherwise torturous affair just this side of bearable. Speaking of Elisabeth, here’s the baby-dropping babe having lost her baby fat and in a bikini on the cover of Fitness Magazine. Get a nice “view” of that bikini body. Get it? Eh.

Sarah McLachlan Bikini Pictures

Wow, Sarah McLachlan bikini pictures. I didn’t think I would ever be able to think those words, much less actually type them out on this thing that’s attached to my computer that allows me to make words appear on my screen thingie, and then have the pictures to prove it. And wow, Sarah McLachlan is tone, dudes and dudettes. Somehow, I never pictured the queen of Lilith Fair and other, female-centric musical niceties to look this muscular and tone. Instead of singing you to sleep with a sweet lullaby, she could probably put you in a headlock and achieve the same thing. These are, apparently, post-pregnancy bikini pictures.

Maria Menounos and Blake Lively Bikini Tag-Team

If I had to guess the premise of these pictures showing Maria Menounos and Blake Lively in bikinis walking on the beach apparently very excited about something happening off-screen, I would say Menounos is shooting an interview for one of those entertainment shows that she reports for. I forgot what it was; Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, Entertainment Access Tonight, etc. You know, one of those. In any case, does it matter? Maria Menounos and Blake Lively are in bikinis and walking on the beach. The only thing that would make this better is if they both tripped at the same time, fell to the beach, and somehow got tangled up in each other arms, as their lips slowly but surely move towards each other’s — wait, what? Oh, right. Please to ogle.

Bianca Gascoigne and Charlotte Mears Bikini Tag Team

To be perfectly honest with you, a combination of laziness and inability to really care means I’m not even going to try to provide content to what the heck is going on in these pictures. Except to say this: it’s two British gals named Bianca Gascoigne and Charlotte Mears at the beach and they happen to be wearing two-piece bikinis and, if that wasn’t enough, they started to grope each other and — well, okay, maybe the last part is a bit stretching it, but in my mind they’re groping each other, and really, isn’t what I think more important than what is actually happening? Well I think so, anyways. Anyhoo, Bianca Gascoigne is famous for being a famous soccer player’s daughter, and Charlotte Mears (in the red) is famous for being, um, hot?

Gemma Atkinson Beach Bikini Shoot

My favorite part about these bikini pictures of Gemma Atkinson at the beach behind-the-scenes of her latest calendar shoot isn’t the fact that, well, Gemma Atkinson is in a bikini posing for pictures, but that there is one picture (the last one) where a fat dude shows up while Gemma is on her hands and knees posing and plucks her bikini out of her ass crack. Now how would you like to have a job like that? “Hey, honey, how was your work today?” “Um, I had to pull Gemma Atkinson’s bikini out of her ass crack. And yes, I saw plenty of crack. God, I love my job.” Of course I could be wrong, but I’m guessing whoever the bloated fat dude is, he says “God, I love my job” almost every day.

Happy Memorial Day, America!