The last we heard, Gisele Bundchen had gotten hitched to Tom Brady of the New England Patriots. Or maybe they’re just engaged. I would do some research to bring you the facts, but what the hell is this, Wikipedia? Go type in Gisele Bundchen and get your own facts, dammit. Anyhoo. So here’s Gisele Bundchen somewhere doing something in a very nice, revealing dress. She’s such a nice gal this Gisele Bundchen that she even leans over to let the photographers snap some pics of her fine, very very fine Brazilian cleavage. Thank you, Gisele Bundchen’s cleavage! Now go home and get drunk, ya bums. The weekend is here!

Oh, Carmen Electra. I’ve never seen a woman do so much with so little. We’re talking about a woman who doesn’t really have all that much talent here; she can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t act, can’t do much of anything. But what she has going for her is a huge rack thanks to a competent plastic surgeon and the drive to get people to notice. Now take Carmen Electra here for example: I haven’t a clue what she’s doing here, but I’m assuming it’s something for charity (or free publicity) where she gets to dress up, show off a lot of cleavage, and entice some horny — er, I mean, wealthy — gamblers to come pay with her. Hey, I’d drop a couple of grand to take a gander at them shooters up close. Wouldn’t you? Okay, maybe not a couple of grand. But definitely a couple of bucks, though. Yeah, I think I could part with a couple of buckaroos there…

Isla Fisher is an actress who is probably most famous for dating that douche bag Borat. Or the guy who plays Borat in the movies and on that thing the kids call a TV show. Who knows? Maybe in the coming years she’ll be known as Isla Fisher the really sexy actress with the killer cleavage. Hey, we can dream, can’t we? In any case, it’s Friday, and here’s your totally gratuitous dose of celebrity cleavage courtesy of Isla Fisher. Oh sure, you could probably find a woman with a better rack, but I don’t know, Isla Fisher’s combination of next-door pretty good looks and ability to impress with the rack is just too good to pass up. So if your weekend sucks, just come back here and take a look at our latest celebrity cleavage, and thank your stars you’re still alive. And still have eyes. Cause you know, it would suck if you were alive but couldn’t see, as you wouldn’t be able to see this. But I digress.

Color me disappointed that Kathleen Robertson never really caught. I mean, did you see her in “Scary Movie 2″? Running around in that skin-tight outfit with the G-string showing? Dude, that is, like, the greatest role ever! And it’s not like she’s not talented, too. The woman actually has oodles of talent. But she puts on the sexiest movie role in a spoof film in, like, EVER, and no one even notices. Meanwhile, Carmen Electra can’t even spell the word “act”, and she’s more famous than Kathleen Robertson? God, you guys suck. Anyways, Kathleen Robertson was at last week’s Emmys show, and brought the boys with her. Yes, I am talking about that killer cleavage. Egads. Those are real, too, boys. Damn, I knew I should have watch the Emmys like my gay neighbors did…

I am so feeling Dania Ramirez of Heroes fame right now that I plan on naming my first born Dania, which would be really weird if it turned out to be a boy. But you know, being that I always keep my promise, I’m going to make him take the name Dania anyway. Hey, if he turns out all screwed up, it’s not my fault, it’s Dania Ramirez’s fault for being such a friggin’ hottie and going out without her bra. Here’s a very nice cleavage shot of Dania Ramirez out and about. I’m glad she let the puppies out to say Hi. Now I don’t know if Dania Ramirez has become my favorite Heroes castmember, but I’m also not saying that she isn’t. Sure, Hayden and Ali are always welcome here, but every now and then it’s nice to have someone without blonde hair. And there is absolutely nothing NOT nice about Dania Ramirez.

Say what you will about blonde singing cutie Jessica Simpson (she’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch, her sister creeps me out, her dad invades my nightmares, and the Dallas Cowboys suck donkey balls), but what you can’t say about Jessica Simpson is that she doesn’t know what the boys want. And what does the boys want? Boobs. Big, fat, massive boobs. Rumor has Jessica Simpson having gone under the knife for her rack, which may or may not be true, but as a warm-blooded American male, I can safely look you in the eyes (that’s right, I can SEE YOU THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER MONITOR!!!) and tell you, “And your point is…?” That’s right, kids, it’s time for some celebrity cleavage.

You know, I’ve been watching Lauren Holly on and off in the movies for a while now (and now on the small tube on the CBS show Navy NCIS), and I never once thought to myself, “Dude, Lauren Holly is packing!” But you know what? I finally said that after seeing these pictures of Lauren Holly. I don’t know if she went under the knife or what post-Jim Carrey, but I just never remembered Lauren Holly as packing this much heat before. And it’s not like she’s pregnant, eithe, which has been known to increase the size of the prize, if you know what I mean; or at least, she doesn’t look preggars in these pics. So enjoy some celebrity cleavage courtesy of Lauren Holly. Holy mother that is some sweet’ums.

To be perfectly honest with you, I’m not sure how a picture of Lindsay Lohan standing in a mini-skirt and wearing a jacket without any bra on helps to sell Visa cards to the masses, but it’s not like it’s gonna hurt, either. If I had to guess, I would say this is an abstract advertising campaign that says something to the effect of, “As Lindsay Lohan’s nice cleavage, I too, uses Visa everywhere I go.” What, too far off? Oh well. Here’s Lindsay Lohan rising back from the ashes of booze and pseudo lesbian rumors to claim what’s hers — pitchwoman status for credit cards in another country. Now that’s girl power.

I’ll grant you that I don’t know the basis for these photographs, but if I had to guess, I would say it’s a press meet-and-greet for a new movie that Rachael Leigh Cook is starring in, and that the two guys are her co-stars in the movie. Or, hey, it could be a shoot for “Save the Monkeys” for all I know. But all I really know, and all I really care about, is that whoever is posing them has put Rachael Leigh Cook is a very stimulating position between the two guys. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Rachael Leigh Cook definitely knows what boys like, and speaking for all the boys out there, we would very much like to thank her. “This is your brain, this is Rachael Leigh Cook’s cleavage staring at your brain…”

Meagan Good is a good girl, but Meagan Good showing off some stunning cleavage in this edition of Celebrity Cleavage is a very, very good girl. I’m not sure what Meagan Good has done since the very awful Stomp the Yard, but I’m sure it involved wearing a very low-cut dress to show off that bodacious rack of hers. For the newly minted fans of Meagan Good (seriously, you still aren’t a fan of hers after THIS?), Meagan’s got the movies The Love Guru and Sundays in Fort Greene coming up for 2008. After that, she’ll continue to show up in my wet dreams because, let’s face it, that’s how it should be.

I don’t know if Jennifer Tilly even still acts anymore, although I do know that she does voice work of Joe’s wife on Family Guy. Other than that, I don’t know if she still works as an actress, what with having pretty much devoted her time to playing poker professionally now. You see her on all the poker shows (if you happen to watch such things), and she’s not a bad player. Mind you, I’m not saying she’s great, but you know, I’ve seen worst. Plus, you just know those big gazongas she’s carrying around in those low-cut dresses have got to give her some advantage over all the guys (and it’s mostly all guys) playing at the same table with her. How can you concentrate with those babies winking at you? It’s not fair, I tell ya!

You would be forgiven for thinking that all Kim Kardashian has going for her is that pretty face and that massive caboose, since, well, that caboose is so massive that’s oftentimes the only thing of her you see. But hey, our socialite also has some rockin’ rack going on for her, as this installment of Celebrity Cleavage proves. And oh yeah, catch Kim Kardashian on her new E! Reality TV show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”, which I think is about Kim Kardashian and how you need to catch up with her, or something. Um, anyways, expect plenty of Kim Kardashian booty and rack on the show; it’s the least they could do for us, right? Am I right or am I right?

We all know that former Party of Five star Lacey Chabert has grown up. Boy did she ever grow up! Thankfully for us cleavage lovers, Lacey’s body has really ballooned, and not in the Kirsty Alley ballooning variety, but rather the va-va-voom variety. Which is the good variety, in case you were wondering. Here’s our tribute to a grown up Lacey Chabert and her party of two, if you know what I’m saying, and I think you do. Hint hint, wink wink, and all that jazz. Basically I’m talking about her cleavage. Oh vey, you guys are dense.

When you think of generous cleavage, you certainly don’t think of country and western singers. Okay, okay, aside from Dolly Parton, I mean, you don’t immediately associate country music with heavy cleavage. But here’s country darling Sara Evans proving that theory wrong with a promo for her new album. Yes, she looks very good, as she always does, but the generous display of cleavage is a shocker — a good, delightful shocker, that is. Now if we can only get Carrie Underwood and the rest of country’s young hotties to follow suit…

Oh my my my. I guess it comes as no surprise to anyone who knows their Italian ladies, but Maria Grazia Cucinotta in particular, that our latest entry in the Celebrity Cleavage column is Maria Grazia Cucinotta, former Bond girl and all-around babe. I’m not sure what Maria is doing now, but I’m guessing having been a Bond Girl goes a pretty long way, which should serve her well in her career to come. And in fact, IMDB.com lists a ton of movies to her credit in the coming years, but I’ve never heard a single one of those movies, so I don’t know if they’re big-time or not. Then again, the last time I went to the movies it was 1988, so who am I to talk. Check out some Maria Grazia Cucinotta cleavage and have a great Tuesday.

For great Italian cleavage, you can’t get any better than the one, the original, the great Monica Bellucci. The Italian sex bomb turned French citizen has never shied away from showing off that perfect rack of hers, and she’s not gonna start now. God bless her for that lack of inhibition because if this world needs something, it’s more super hot women without inhibitions who goes around wearing low-cut dresses to show off their God-given assets. Both of them. Anyhoo, enjoy some celebrity cleavage courtesy of “Tears of the Sun” and “Matrix” star Monica Bellucci. Ain’t she grand?

So what the heck has Elisha Cuthbert been doing since she abandoned 24 for the movies? Well, there were a couple of major bombs like The Girl Next Door, House of Wax, and more recently, Captivity, which despite a ton of free publicity for its controversial advertising campaign and scenes, bombed harder than Martin Sheen at an NRA convention. But that won’t stop us from featuring the lovely Ms. Elisha Cuthbert in our Celebrity Cleavage column, because let’s face it, if the girl can do something right, it’s hypnotize with that rack. Here’s a very nice picture of Elisha showing off her greatest assets, and I’m not talking about her bad hair coloring.

I’ve been confessing it since the beginning and I’ll confess it again now — I still don’t get the vast popularity of Eva Mendes. Sure, she’s an attractive girl, and according to this picture, she’s got some rockin’ cleavage going on, but can anyone honestly tell me Eva Mendes is a good actress? Then again, this is Hollywood we’re talking about, so being “good” is highly subjective. Carmen Electra, for example, isn’t good at anything except being Carmen Electra, and she’s still working. And don’t even get me started on the delicous Jessica Alba. But in any case, here’s Eva Mendes adding to our ever expanding entry of celebrity cleavage. Mama mia I want to get lost in those fluffy pillows…

Our celebrity cleavage for today is Marisol Nichols, who you may recognize as Nadia on the last season of FOX’s aging action-adventure TV show “24″. Since Marisol’s character survived last season, a rare occasion since the producers seemed to be killing people off left and right — it sucks to work for CTU Los Angeles, apparently — we can only hope that Nadia will make a return appearance and finally slip out of that uptight power suit they had her wearing throughout the year. Of course there’s no guarantee, we are talking about “24″ here after all, where everyone except Jack Bauer gets it sooner or later. But if Marisol Nichols shows this picture around, I’m willing to bet Nadia will get a chance to climb out of her suit on the show.

When you think celebrity cleavage, you don’t think Brittany Snow. Then again, I don’t think Brittany Snow very often, but maybe I should start, because she’s not only showing some mighty fine cleavage here, but she’s not an altogether bad looking girl. And of course by “not altogether bad” I mean she’s way beyond my league, but I’m going to pretend like she’s not anyway because that’s just how I like to roll. You can catch Brittany Snow in the upcoming horror remake of “Prom Night”, where if the Gods are listening, we’ll be treated to more pictures of Brittany Snow cleavage. I hear prom dresses are designed for just that.