The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Christina Aguilera Pimps the Kid Out for Votes

Christina Aguilera isn’t just a pop star and former drrrty girl (you just know that that little “drrrty” phase of hers is going to follow her to the end of time, don’t you?), she’s also concern about voting. And she wants you to vote. And she doesn’t care who you vote for, either, as long as you vote. Oh who am I kidding. Of course she cares who you vote for. His first name begins with “B” and ends with “k”. If Christina Aguilera and her ilk even considers voting for someone without a “D” in parenthesis at the end of their name, their heads would probably explode. By the way, is it just me, or is that kid of hers nearly half her size already? Good God, Christina Aguilera really is a midget.

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Christina Aguilera Wants You to Vote, by Freaking You Out

You know how I feel about celebrities going out to tell you to vote; they always say they don’t care who you vote for, they just want you to go vote. Which is bullshit, and I’ll call them on it every time, because it’s the most blatant bullshit I’ve ever heard from Hollywood. How do you tell a kid that you don’t care who he votes for, as long as he votes, and then spend the next two hours telling him about WHO he should vote for? Give me a break. Then there’s this freaky ass advertisement by Christina Aguilera for the Declare Yourself campaign. This is actually from 2004, but since it’s just so damn freaky (”Let’s freak the kids out! And then they’ll vote!”), I just had to post it again for the current year’s election mania.

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Christina Aguilera Shows Massive Cleavage

Christina Aguilera was recently in Shanghai, China doing her “Back to Basics” promotions, and apparently she remembered to pack the Wonderbra. Either that, or she’s pregnant and as a result is carrying around an extra set of big guns. And of course by “guns” I mean she she showed up in China with an impressive set of gazongas, resulting in a rather impressive looking cleavage. There are also rumors that she has always had breast implants. Then again, it’s not like I keep track of all the rumors about Christina Aguilera, but celebrity cleavage is always enough for me to notice.

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Jessica Biel is Sexier than Scarlett Johansson

Stuff Magazine has released their annual list of “100 Sexiest Women in the Whole Wide World and Beyond” (okay, maybe leave out half of that title), and the winner is … (drum roll, please) … Jessica Biel and her junk in the trunk! Biel, who probably didn’t cry over the recent cancellation of “Seventh Heaven”, topped the poll, as well as second place finisher Scarlett Johansson. The rest of the top 10 was composed of (in order of sexiest to least sexy) Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Katharine McPhee, Sienna Miller, Olivia Wilde, Angelina Jolie, Malin Akerman, and finally, Christina Aguilera.

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Christina Aguilera in Maxim Magazine

Christina Aguilera, the drrrrtiest grrrrl among the current crop of interchangeable pop stars, makes her debut (or is it?) in Maxim Magazine. Not a bad spread. Quite sexy, actually. Regular viewers of the site (yes, all 5 of you) will know that I’ve never been all that “into” Christina, as a singer, a celebrity, and most of all, as a sex symbol. She’s always seemed to try way too hard to be sexy. And although this spread in Maxim doesn’t completely change my mind, I’ll admit it’s not altogether not sexy. And if that makes sense, I got swampland in Florida to sell ya.

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I Still Don’t “Get” Christina Aguilera’s Popularity

Seriously, folks, someone please convince me why Christina Aguilera is as popular as she is. Okay, so she has a pretty good voice, but why does everyone I meet keep insist on telling me this girl is “hot”? She has a ginorous head, it’s nearly as big as the rest of her upper body, and she’s exactly 4-feet tall. And don’t even get me started on her propensity for getting “drrrty” (I feel stupid just typing that). Now seriously, folks, how in the world does people look at this mental midget and say, “Now that’s hot!”

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Christina Aguilera Shills for Pepsi

File this one under, “See, this is why I don’t drink soft drinks anymore”, because nothing says “Refreshing taste” like hiring a skanky midget with an unnatural voice to sell your ads for you. And by that I of course mean here’s pop idol Christina Aguilera in ad promos for Pepsi soft drink. Or “pop” for you Easterners. (And of course by “Easteners” I mean you weirdos who calls soft drinks “pops”.)

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Jessica Alba at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards

This year’s host, Jessica Alba, arrives at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards to play MC. The lovely Miss Alba is looking lovely as usual, or at least until the end, when some short blonde midget pushed her way into the picture. Damn, what a media whore! Anyways, Jessica didn’t just host the awards, but she also won for “Sexiest Performance” in “Sin City”, where she played a hooker who didn’t take off her clothes. Which, if you’re keeping track, makes “Sin City” the movie even less realistic than the original Frank Miller comic books, where “young Nancy” was shown in all her glory. Stupid Hollywood.

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