Eva Longoria in Bebe Sports Ads Part 2
I know that Eva Longoria is one of the stars of ABC’s aging (har har, I guess that has more than one meaning now, huh?) TV show Desperate Housewives, but other than that, I know nothing else about her. Oh right, she’s also married to San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker. But other than those two — okay, I probably more other things about her, but I would prefer not to, because frankly it doesn’t matter as long as Eva Longoria continues to shill for Bebe Sports by slipping on a two-piece bikini and looking finer than fine. Seriously, the woman is just out-of-this-world fine, and if you disagree, I’ll have to come over and give you a swift kick in the nuts. I mean it.
Eva Longoria Sex Tape? Oh … My … God
Could it be? Is God so kind that he would give us a sex tape of the one and only Miss Eva Longoria indulging in some amour with her new hubby Tony Parker? Okay, so I could do without Tony Parker being involved in the tape, but if it’s a tape involving two people having sex, I guess a guy had to be there, unfortunately. (Although it would be better if it was a girl…) Anyhoo. Rumors are circulating that the Desperate Housewives star has a sex tape, and that the tape is currently being hosted on paid sites, which means it may or may not be real, or the whole thing could be crap. This isn’t the first time Longoria was the subject of a rumored sex tape; last year one was supposed to have surfaced, but that proved false.
Eva Longoria + Bikini = Good Wednesday
Forget Good Thursday or Good Friday or whatever day it is that is commonly known as “Good [Insert The Correct Day Here]” (yes, it’s true, my lack of knowledge shines through once more), because Wednesday is the real Good Day, especially when you are treated to some tasty pictures of Eva Longoria in a two-piece bikini. And what’s even better? She’s all alone, without Tony Parker or any man in sight to ruin the scenery. Which begs the question: how exactly does Eva Longoria, as hot and delicious as she is, end up at the beach in a bikini all by her little lonesome? Blasphemy!
Eva Longoria Bikinis in France
Oh, to be rich and famous and married to a famous basketball player. Well, okay, I don’t want to be married to a basketball player, because that would mean I was married to a WNBA player, and geez, have you SEEN those girls? But I digress. Eva Longoria spent the weekend in St. Tropez in the Southern part of France getting her bikini on a yacht on. Meanwhile, I was at home trying to figure out why my washer always seems to leave detergent clinging to my black clothes because, well, it’s kind of frakkin’ annoying if you know what I mean. Anyways, here’s bikini pictures of Eva Longoria. Is it me or does she look very weird in that last one? Mind you, not that you could really tell, since the pics were taken, oh, about 5 miles away.
Eva Longoria Dances on Dancing with the Stars
I must be the only one in America who doesn’t “get” the popularity of “Dancing with the Stars”. I mean, it’s a Reality TV competition show consisting of has-been stars (and some never stars) trying to win a dancing competition. And the prize is…? Um, I don’t know. I don’t think there even is a prize except the right to say, “Yeah, I won ‘Dancing with the Stars’.” And then? Um, nothing, probably. Well, anyways, my inability to “get” Dancing with the Stars aside, Eva Longoria was recently on it and made quite an impression. Here she is on stage with, if I’m not mistaken, Mario Lopez.
Latin Flavor Explosion: The 2007 Alma Awards
On Friday Hollywood’s hottest Latinas (and some Waspy chicks) showed up for the 2007 Alma Awards, basically a “Latin Only” showcase. Well, actually, you can still show up if you’re not Latin, but your chances of winning probably ain’t so good. Present and accounted for were a bevy of Latin babes, highlighted by the most famous one of them all, Eva Longoria. Joining her were Sofia Vergara, Constance Marie, Alexa Vega, Marisol Nichols, Danna Garcia, and former beauty queen Dayanara Torres. So who won and who lost? Who cares is more like it!
Jessica Biel is Sexier than Scarlett Johansson
Stuff Magazine has released their annual list of “100 Sexiest Women in the Whole Wide World and Beyond” (okay, maybe leave out half of that title), and the winner is … (drum roll, please) … Jessica Biel and her junk in the trunk! Biel, who probably didn’t cry over the recent cancellation of “Seventh Heaven”, topped the poll, as well as second place finisher Scarlett Johansson. The rest of the top 10 was composed of (in order of sexiest to least sexy) Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Katharine McPhee, Sienna Miller, Olivia Wilde, Angelina Jolie, Malin Akerman, and finally, Christina Aguilera.
Eva Longoria in Bebe Sport Ads
Now I don’t know what Bebe Sport sells, but judging from these pictures with Eva Longoria supposedly dressed in her Bebe Sport best, I could use me some Bebe Sport, um, stuff. But I do know what the “bebe look” is supposed to be: “the bebe look attempts to appeal to a “modern, sexy, sophisticated, body-conscious woman who takes pride in her appearance”. And who better to get that point across visually than Eva Longoria in her skivvies? Heck, Eva Longoria in her skivvies can convince me to invade Iran by my little lonesome. Those are some nice skivvies.
Eva Longoria is off the Market, Guys
Wait, weren’t Eva Longoria and Tony Parker supposed to have split up? Apparently not, because the two are engaged and will be getting married next year somewhere in France. Why France? Because Parker is French, and is one of the first Frenchies to ever play in the NBA. I know, right? Who knew the French could do anything besides drink wine, forget to use deodorant, and look down their nose at anyone who isn’t French. But I digress. Eva Longoria is officially off the market, guys. (At least for a year, until the inevitable divorce. I’m not trying to jinx them or anything, but come on…)
Eva Longoria Says No to Lesbian Movie
Dear Virginia: There is no Santa Clause. Or that’s what men everywhere will be saying when they hear news that Eva Longoria has shot down rumors that she will be playing lesbian lovers with Beyonce Knowles in a movie called “Tipping the Velvet”. But you know what, guys? I think that if we keep insisting that she do this movie, she might have to relent to peer pressure and actually do it. I mean, it could work, right? Right? You guys with me? Anyhoo, here’s some really hot pictures of Eva Longoria in Esquire.
Emmitt Smith Wins Dancing with the Stars
So ex-Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith has won this year’s season of “Dancing with the Stars”, and with that win comes fame, glory, and the title of “Biggest Laughing Stock of the NFL”. When Emmitt goes into the hall of fame, I bet this is going to come up. And why not? How do you go from being the best running back in the NFL to doing the salsa and tango on a crappy TV show? I swear, I don’t get the popularity of “Dancing with the Stars”. In fact, they should re-title the show “Dancing with the Has-Beens”. Seriously, when did Mario Lopez become a “star”? But I digress. Here are some sexy pictures of Eva Longoria because, honestly, I feel kinda gay just talking about this show.
Beyonce and Eva Longoria Wants to be Lesbian Lovers
There are rumors (mostly from the Eva Longoria and Beyonce themselves) that they are planning to adapt the lesbian romance novel “Tipping the Velvet” by Sarah Waters into a movie starring themselves as lesbian lovers in Victorian England. There was actually a British mini-series based on the same novel from a few years back, and as I recall, it was pretty explicit. I don’t think Longoria and Beyonce will get nearly that explicit in their movie (if it ever gets made, which is highly doubtful), but you know, that isn’t going to stop me from fantasizing about it. I mean, come on, I’m just a guy, after all.
Trailer for Eva Longoria and Christian Bale’s “Harsh Times”
Eva Longoria, Christian Bale, and some guy name Freddy Rodriguez join forces to fight “Harsh Times”, a movie, gritty flick from “Training Day” writer David Ayers that hits theaters November 10th. The official site goes live later tonight (don’t click now, it’s not there yet), but you can catch a still from the flick and take a peek at the trailer now. Read on…
Eva Longoria in Maxim Magazine
The interior pictures of Eva Longoria’s latest appearance in Maxim Magazine is here, and as expected, it’s friggin’ hot. Then again, maybe it’s just the woman — she is naturally friggin hot. I bet when she was born doctors had to slap her dad because she was so hot. Then they had to throw her around the delivery room because she was so hot they couldn’t hold her for longer than two seconds without being scolded by her hotness. That’s how hot Eva Longoria is. Dang.
Eva Longoria Maxim Cover
“Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria is on the cover of, and inside the pages of, the latest issue of Maxim Magazine, about to hit newstands or arrive in your mailbox in a brown paper bag (depending on your level of shame, or lack thereof) very soon, but for now here’s the hottest Spurs fan in the known universe on the cover. And yes, it goes without saying, that interior pics to come.
Hollywood Babes Agree that “John Tucker Must Die”
Hot Hollywood babes agree — they must all attend the premiere of “John Tucker Must Die”! (I’m tellin’ ya, kids, this stuff just rights itself!) The movie is a comedy about some guy named John Tucker who, urm, must die. Or somethin’. Anyhoo, the hotties joining the fray includes the film’s stars Arielle Kebbel, Brittany Snow, and singer-turned-actress Ashanti. And just for the heck of it, “Desperate Housewives’” Eva Longoria joined the fun to show the kids how it’s done. And go see “John Tucker”. Or don’t. See if I care.
Eva Longoria in Ocean Drive Magazine
“Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria in a dark and lovely spread in Ocean Drive Magazine, which I’m guessing is about oceans…driving. Look, it could happen. Maybe. Anyhoo, I’ve never actually watched an episode of “Housewives,” although I’ve been told that it’s “juicy”, and of course by “been told” I mean I’ve seen the commercials. (Wait, is it “Housewives” or “Housewifes”? Aw, who cares.) Here’s Eva looking pretty dark and mysterious and wet dreamable in Ocean Drive. I’d like to drive into her ocean. If you know what I mean. Ahem.
Babes Love Free T-Mobile Swag
So T-Mobile is launching their new T-Mobile Sidekick 3 (which I hear is sidekickier than the previous 2) and of course they’re “launching” it with a party and inviting a buttload of hot celebrities to join the fun and get free T-Mobile swag. And of course, the babes came in droves, since as we all know, the only thing hot Hollywood babes love more than guys with great personality and a sense of humor and who likes quiet walks on the beach is free cellphone shit. You’d think they could just buy this stuff with all the money they have, but I digress. Continue for the full guess list…
Eva Longoria’s Maxim Hot 100 Pic
So “Desperate Housewives’” Eva Longoria has topped Maxim Magazine’s Hot 100 list for 2006, repeating from 2005. Which, for you sports fans out there, is what her boyfriend Tony Parker and the San Antonio Spurs are in danger of not doing, being down 1-3 to the Pussy Dallas Mavericks and all. But I digress. Here’s the pic of Eva from that Maxim Hot 100 issue. Yowsers!
Eva Longoria Tops Maxim’s Hot 100 List
It’s official: diehard Spurs fan Eva Longoria is the hottest of them all. At least for 2006, and at least according to Maxim Magazine. Longoria tops the list for 2006 after doing it once in 2005, a major move for the hot brunette after coming in at #91 in 2004. So who did she beat out? Everybody’s girl Jessica Alba, teen tart Lindsay Lohan, the “she’s so out there I don’t even wanna try” Angelina Jolie, the Goddess herself Stacy Keibler, the upcoming Goddess Scarlett Johansson, the “too goofy even for me” Cameron Diaz, “don’t call me Lois Lane” Kate Bosworth, British lass Keira Knightley and “these abs are made for flaunting” Christina Milian.