Vivica A. Fox Blames Racism for being Drunk
Geez, remember the good ol days when you could pull out the Race Card and basically get out of any situation? (Hell, it worked for O.J.) Now it seems that no matter how hard you play the Race Card, no one is buying it. Isaiah Washington recently gave the gag a shot by blaming racism for being a homophobe, and now it appears Vivica A. Fox blamed racism for her DUI arrest in March. According to the AP, Fox called the cop who was giving her a sobriety test (that she kept failing) a “racist white cop” and asked the cop’s partner to help her out. Or as she put it, according to the police report, “Brother, help a sister…”
Video: Paris Hilton Released from Jail
Like the rest of the world, we were wondering, “Gee, when is Paris gonna get out of prison? Oh God, I hope she’s alright!” Okay, so maybe you weren’t wondering that, but in case you were, she got out of jail exactly 2:00 a.m. Central Time (my time), but midnight L.A. time. The pigtailed blond heiress walked out of jail looking much thinner and a little bit demure, and almost — SHY??? Well, she “looked” the part of a reformed heiress, anyway. What happens from now remainds to be seen. Video of Paris fresh out of jail below.
Tom Sizemore Sentenced to 16 Months in Prison
Poor, poor Tom Sizemore. I like the guy, I really do. He’s got some of the best roles in war movies, despite the fact that he was always surrounded by uber stars. He was one of the best things about “Saving Private Ryan” and “Black Hawk Down”. He was also pretty good in one of his earliest starring roles, the creature horror flick “The Relic”. Now Tom Sizemore has been sentenced to 16 months in state prison by a judge who ruled the alleged discovery of methamphetamine in the actor’s car had violated his probation in a previous drug case. So it’s 16 more months in the klink goes Tom.
Lou Pearlman Arrested, Headed Back to U.S.
How sad is the life and times of Lou Pearlman? Back in the ’90s, this guy nearly singlehandedly created the Boy Band craze, with manufactured pop groups chosen specifically to appeal to every part of the squealing consumer base, like ‘N Sync and Backstreet Boys. But every time he had a hit band, it wasn’t long before the band sued him and got out of his clutches. Lou tried to replicate his formula a third time with O-Town, and even swindled himself a Reality TV show out of it, but since you don’t even know who or what O-Town is, it’s a given that the third time WASN’T the charm.
NBC To Pay Paris Hilton $1 Million for Post-Jail Interview?
Sort of. Well, maybe. But probably not. (Then again, maybe Yes.) But news came out earlier in the week that NBC was going to pay Paris Hilton a whopping $1 million for the hotel heiress’ first post-jail sit-down interview because, you know, Paris has a lot to say, and it’s sure to revolutionize the world. Or maybe not. Yesterday NBC came out and said they weren’t going to shill out any such amounts, that it was all a rumor. But people aren’t buying it, and they’re still saying NBC’s Meredith Viera will do the interview. True? Untrue? Too stupid for words? You decide.
Kristy Swanson Arrested for Assault in Canada
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again — Canada is no place for a vampire killer. Or, in this case, ex-vampire killer Kristy Swanson, who was “arrested late Saturday night for allegedly assaulting the ex-wife of her companion and former skating partner, Lloyd Eisler, Swanson tells PEOPLE.” The Canucks let the ex-Buffy star off on a $500 bail after the ex pressed charges against Swanson, who plans to counter-charge the ex for assault. Besides once having a promising movie career, Swanson was most recently seen in “Skating with Celebrities”, and appeared in Playboy. Personally I recommend a caged chick fight to settle it.
Paris Hilton Returns to Jail, Ordered to Serve Full 45 Days
So I was watching CNN when they reported that Paris Hilton had been ordered back to jail. But that wasn’t all. Apparently the judge was so steamed (and most likely, got tired of people criticizing him) that FoxNews is reporting he’s now ordered Paris Hilton to serve her full original 45-day sentence for driving with a suspended license. Paris Hilton was heard to scream, “Mom!” and “It’s not right!” as she was escorted out of the courtroom and into a waiting patrol car in the back by a female deputy.
Paris Hilton Back in Court (Update: Returns to Jail!)
Has the long arm of Justice caught up with Paris Hilton once more? It would appear so (or perhaps not) with news that Paris, coming after her abrupt departure from the L.A. County Jail on her driving with a suspended license sentencing, has been ordered to re-appear in court. MSN reports that “a crying Paris Hilton was taken to court in a police car Friday for a hearing on her early release from jail, heightening the struggle between the judge who sentenced Hilton and the sheriff who turned her loose.” Basically, the judge is pissed, the people are pissed, and the only ones happy are Paris lovers and her friends and family.
Paris Hilton’s Booking Photo
Admit it, you’ve been waiting to see this ever since you heard Paris Hilton was going to jail. Come on, it’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with indulging in a little schadenfraude, especially when it’s Paris Hilton at the wrong end of things. This girl has had it so easy for so long, it’s about time she finds out what it’s like in the real world when even mommy’s money can’t buy her out of trouble. So, without further ado, here’s Paris Hilton’s police booking photo from the Los Angeles County Sheriff via the AP. Is it me, or is she “posing”…?
Lindsay Lohan Busted for DUI, Cocaine Possession
Taking a page from her buddy Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan was recently arrested for suspicion of DUI and what cops are calling a “usable amount” of cocaine found in her Mercedes SL-65 after it crashed on Sunset Boulevard early Saturday morning post-night of heavy partying by the “I Know Who Killed Me” starlet. This, after Lohan had just come out of rehab for her partying ways not all that long ago. Apparently rehab didn’t take, because she was partying it up on Friday before getting into her Mercedes, the crash taking place at 5:30 a.m. in the Saturday morning. Although Lohan was arrested at the hospital, she was released moments later. Make room, Paris, Lindsay’s coming over for a spell.
Jessica Alba Gets Pulled Over in her Prius by the Cops
Jessica Alba is so concern about the paparazzi snapping pictures of her in her snazzy little Prius that she had her windows tinted so dark no one could see inside. Unfortunately for her, that’s against the law, and a cop pulled the “Fantastic Four” star over while she was leaving the gym. (And oh yeah, for some reason her car doesn’t have license plates.) But the funny thing is (and by “funny” I mean it’s “totally crap”), although people saw Alba getting a ticket on the street, TMZ says the LAPD has no such ticket on record. So let me get this straight: Jessica Alba and her Hollywood buddies drive a Prius and gets to bitch at me about Global Warming, but they’re above getting a ticket? Hmm…
Paris Hilton’s 45 Days in Jail Lowered to 23 Days
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Paris Hilton’s 45-days in jail sentence has been knocked down to about 23 days for good behavior. So what constitutes this “good behavior”? Apparently according to this, showing up for your court date qualifies as “good behavior”. I shit you not. So Paris Hilton showing up for her court date is such a great achievement that she gets 22 days knocked off her DUI/driving with a suspended license conviction? Man, I wanna be rich and spoiled and famous and have no talent at all, too, dammit!
Married with Children’s David Faustino Arrested for Pot Possession
You know it had to happen, didn’t you? It was inevitable. Let’s count the number of cliches in this particular news: child star: check; drug arrest: check. Well, okay, those are basically the only two cliches that comes to mind at the moment. News is that former “Married with Children” star David Faustino, who plays Bud Bundy (aka Grandmaster B) on the show, was recently arrested in New Smyrna Beach, Florida for pot possession and disorderly intoxication charges (mugshot below). Which basically means he was so high that he made a royal jackass of himself in public. And get this: Bud Bundy went and got himself married! Yes, it’s true. I guess Faustino has been out of the public eye for so long that I don’t ever recall having heard that he got married.
Rapper The Game Gets Arrested
What do you think immediately goes through a gangster rapper’s head when cops slap handcuffs on them? Do they immediately think, “Oh snap! My next album is gonna go platinum in a minute, yo!” Or is it more like, “Oh man, ain’t this ironic?” I’m thinking it’s somewhere in the middle, sort of like, “Yo yo yo, my next album is gonna skyrocket; crap, I hope I don’t get rape in county jail.” All of this, of course, is to lead into this article about how rapper The Game got arrested on suspicion of making criminal threats a few months ago. Which is kind of stupid, if you think about it; gangster rappers like The Game probably makes “criminal threats” about killing someone’s momma or ho or both every other day. Isn’t that what white suburban kids buy their music for?
Paris Hilton Wants Arnold Schwarzenegger to Pardon Her. No, Seriously.
Paris Hilton is so outraged by her 45-day jail sentence (which she has to start serving next month) that she is taking her case to the highest court in all of California — Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s desk. Yes, you read that correctly. People.com reports: “In a message that went up Monday on her MySpace page and reported in the New York Post, the hotel heiress writes (in her own spelling): “My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!” Holy cow. I’ve seen and heard some really stupid things in my life, but this has to take the cake. I got 1 to 5 million odds that Schwarzenegger will pardon her for this “injustice”.
Tom Sizemore’s Drug-Fueled Downward Spiral Continues to Spiral Downward Even Further
Holy smoking cow. What has happened to Tom Sizemore? There was a time, about 7 or so years ago, when you could watch a war movie without seeing Tom Sizemore in the role of the “tough Sergeant who has seen it all”. And he played it so damn well, too, that you knew he would become a star, if not a leading man, then at least a continually working character actor. And then — BAM. It all went downhill in a pile of cocaine and whatever else Tom was snorting up his nose. And now the AP reports that Tom has been arrested again, this time for “possession of methamphetamine, being under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of narcotic paraphernalia”. Oh, Tom, you poor bastard.
Paris Hilton Gets 45 Days in L.A. County Jail
So I’m flipping through the channel when I got tired and left the TV on Fox New’s “On the Record” with Greta Van Susteren. So what do I hear? Apparently Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in L.A. County Jail, and she has until June 5th to report for her jail term. This all stems from Paris being caught driving without her license, when her license was suspended for a previous alcohol-related traffic violation. Paris’ excuse? Her PR person told her she could drive. Um, okay. That sounds reasonable. Then again, I don’t have “people” who does things for me, so what do I know. Once again: Paris has until June 5th to report for a 45-day jail sentence.
Jennifer Love Hewitt Gets Sued
Now who would sue Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cleavage — er, I mean, who would sue Jennifer Love Hewitt? How could anyone have the nerve to take this lovely, nice young woman to court? Apparently the culprits are Jennifer’s former management, who are suing her for breach of contract based on an “oral agreement” that she pay them 10% of everything she earns. Ouch. And I thought Uncle Sam trying to squeeze the last $100 bucks I owe him for taxes was a disgrace. And how much are these dastardly bastiches want from our Jennifer? At least $350,000, including court costs. The bastards!
American Idol Jessica Sierra Arrested for Assault, Drug Possession
It’s not a good time to be an ex-American Idol finalist right now. There was that whole brouhaha with Antonella Barba and some racy pictures, then Olivia Mojica had to deal with a sex tape, and now Season 4 finalist Jessica Sierra is in hot water, and has been was arrested and charged this weekend with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, possession of cocaine, and introduction of contraband into a detention facility, according to police reports. But hey, on the plus side, at least she didn’t show up naked on anyone’s website or on anyone’s home video, right?
India Judge Issues Arrest Warrants for Gere, Shetty
Apparently your country having the highest number of people infected with the deadly AIDs virus (count’em — 5.7 million people infected with AIDs in India alone) is not nearly as important as throwing Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty in jail for up to three months to the good people of India. Or at least, to the Indian Judicial System, which has just issued arrest warrants for both Gere and Shetty for “contravening the country’s public obscenity law” by dipping and then kissing her on the cheek during a recent AIDs-awareness event in India. This resulted in Gere’s effigy being burned and official complaints filed in court. Yikes.