The DAY OF THE DEAD Remake Is Not So Good
The verdict is in: Hollywood needs to stop remaking classic horror films. Oh wait, nevermind. That horse got out of the barn a looooong time ago, and it’s not gonna come back in as long as Hollywood can make a dime or two off it without having to really work hard at it. Such is the zombie movie “Day of the Dead”, a supposedly remake of George Romero’s 1980s movie of the same name, that will surely be sold similar to Zach Snyder’s 2004 remake of Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead”. But according to a reviewer at AICN, this “Day of the Dead” sucks monkey balls. HARD.
Nicole Kidman Wants to MARRY A MILLIONAIRE
The Hollywood Reporter reports that Nicole Kidman will be producing and starring in the remake of the Marilyn Monroe classic “How to Marry a Millionaire”, but with a contemporary rehaul of the original story. Speaking of which, the 1953 original concerned three women in New York who set out to find eligible millionaires to marry, but find true love with non-millionaire men instead. The script for the remake will be written by Sacha Gervasi, who penned Steven Spielberg’s “The Terminal” starring Tom Hanks. Nicole Kidman, meanwhile, is busy in Australia filming Baz Luhrmann’s historical epic “Australia” with Hugh Jackman.
Jason Statham in DEATH RACE 2000 Remake Driver’s Seat
The Hollywood Reporter reports that Jason Statham (most recently seen running like a madman, half-naked through the streets of “Crank”, a most underappreciated gem, I thought) is currently in talks to star in the “Death Race 2000″, a remake of schlockmeister Roger Corman’s 1975 “classic”. And yes, I put the word classic in quotes because I get the feeling any movie over 20 years is now considered a “classic” in this day and age of crappy teen slashers and MTV “romantic comedies”. But I digress. The remake will be called “Death Race”, without the “2000″, which I think would have been fun if they had left it in, sort of a wink and a nod, kinda like how Conan still calls his “In the Year 2,000″ skit with the “2,000″ despite it not being the year 2,000 anymore.
COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT Remake On the Way
Variety reports that Brian Grazer, head honcho of Imagine Entertainment, has already put a scribe to writing a remake of the 1970 sci-fi movie “Colossus: The Forbin Project”, with an eye toward his studio partner Ron Howard directing. Based on a book by D.F. Jones, the original film was a forerunner of movies like “Terminator,” introducing the idea of a government-built computer that becomes sentient and then takes control. Stupid humans, always giving computers control.
Kate Beckinsale is … BARBARELLA?
The latest Hollywood remake news is that British import Kate Beckinsale is in the running for the totally unnecessary (but they’re gonna do it anyway) remake of “Barbarella”, a role originally assayed by a pre-hippie Jane Fonda and based on the comic books by Jean-Claude Forest. This news comes courtesy of Moviehole, who points out that last week Sienna Miller was supposed to be the frontrunner for the role. Can I see Kate as Barbarella? Hell yeah, especially very lightly dressed.
CLASH OF THE TITANS Set for a Remake
Because you demanded it, the Powers That Be have deemed the 1981 fantasy movie “Clash of the Titans” the next victim on the remake block. (And really, who are we to oppose The Powers That Be?) They’ve tapped Lawrence Kasdan, responsible for some terrific genre films in the past (including “The Empire Strikes Back”) to work on the remake. I recall seeing the original many years ago (it was 1981, after all), and remembered that I really liked it. Of course it had all the elements that kids would like — sword and scorcery, monsters, heroes on winged horses, medusas, and as I recall, giant scorpions. Plus, there was a metal owl, if I remember correctly.
SCANNERS Remake Will Deal with Post-9/11 World
After spilling the beans about this D.C. Comics movie “Super Max”, David Goyer told Sci Fi Wire about his current ideas for the “Scanners” remake, which he is currently writing. Yes, it’s true. They’re remaking “Scanners”. Why? The hell if I know. Here’s what Goyer said about the script: “So we’ve tried to keep the spirit of that and kind of transpose that into a post-9/11 world, if you can imagine what scanners would be involved in in that kind of world. That’s what we’re attempting to do here.”
Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN Remake Gets a Trailer
Over at their ranch, Yahoo! Movies has your first look at Rob Zombie’s completely unnecessary remake of John Carpenter’s 1978 seminal slasher film “Halloween” in high def quicktime format. There’s a lot of screaming, hints at gratuitous nudity, and Michael Myers doing his thing with a machete and other tools of cutting. All in all, nothing you didn’t see in the original, and certainly not a very good reason to even remake the film. It’s basically a retread, a “reboot” if you will, for the MTV generation. Maybe the finished product will be better than the trailer, and actually prove to be worthwhile, but then again, maybe not.
Salli Richardson Describes I AM LEGEND
“Transformers” is my most anticipated film of 2007, but Will Smith’s “I am Legend” is definitely on my most-watched list for 2008 (if they do this movie right, it won’t be ready for late 2007 as announced). In the film, Salli Richardson talked to Sci Fi Wire about her upcoming role in the movie, where she plays Will Smith’s wife. That’s not really important. What I found interesting was the article’s description of the movie premise: “‘I Am Legend’ stars Smith as Robert Neville, the last-known healthy survivor of a biological war, who now must contend with mutant nocturnal creatures out to kill him before he can cure the plague that brought them into being.” So I guess they’re definitely going to explain what turned the population into vampires (although I don’t know if they’ll call them vampires in the movie), which would be different from the book.
Will Smith on the Set of “I am Legend”
The first question that should spring to mind upon seeing this picture of Will Smith posing with some Coast Guard dudes on the set of “I am Legend” is, “Why is Will Smith wearing an army dress uniform?” I ask, because in the original novel, the main character was just an Everyman who ended up the last living mortal on Earth, surrounded by vampires. I guess in the movie they’ve made Will Smith’s character into a soldier. Which would kind of make sense, as it would explain the character’s ability to fend off a world full of vampires for a long stretch. Then again, I kind of dislike gratuitous tweaking of the original source material. But hey, that’s just me. Here’s a pic of Smith on the set of “I am Legend” via Dread Central.
Johnnie To’s “Exiled” to Get Hollywood Remake
Not content to just remake Johnnie To’s “The Mission”, Hollywood is now geared up to remake To’s “Exiled”, the pseudo sequel to “The Mission”. In the original, five professional gunman converge on Macau, where they cross a violent crimelord in a final blaze of glory. Now Variety reports that Media Asia, the Hong Kong company that produced “Exiled”, has successfully pimped the film to Samuel Hadida, who will produce the film for a Hollywood studio. Other Hong Kong movies of late that have been sold for a remake includes “Confession of Pain” (with Leonardo DiCaprio attached) and the in-production Jessica Alba horror movie “The Eye”.
BSG’s Tricia Helfer to Slip on the Supergirl Tights?
Well, she made the uber depressing “Battlestar Galactica” TV show worth watching, so why wouldn’t Tricia Helfer make a movie about the female version of Superman also worth a gander? Via Joblo.com, who hears from someone in the know that Warner Brothers has begun the first stages of making a movie based on the Supergirl character — they’ve paid someone to write a script. One of the names on the list of possibilities is Helfer, who happens to be 33-years old, way too old for someone called “supergirl“. Personally I think the producers should look at Helfer’s “Battlestar Galactica” co-star, Grace Park. An Asian superhero? Why not, it’s the 21st century!
Gerard Butler is Snake Plissken in “Escape From New York” Remake
Coming off the ginormous success of “300″ at the box office, Variety says Scottish dude with insane abs Gerard Butler is being packaged by Hollywood talent agency CAA as part of the “Escpe from New York” remake, in which Butler would play the role of Snake Plissken, originally played by Kurt Russell in the 1981 original. There’s no director attached yet, but Ken Nolan (”Blackhawk Down”) will write the script. The movie is about Snake Plissken, a one-eyed convict who is blackmailed into rescuing the U.S. president, who has been taken hostage after his plane goes down in a futuristic New York City that has been turned into a prison. That basic plot isn’t expected to change. After “300″, Butler and CAA are gonna have to beat off people trying to throw money at them to produce the movie with a spear.
Is Scorsese Making a “Departed” Trilogy?
Ran across this tidbit over at Moviehole, that talks about Scorsese possibly returning to the Boston hood to turn his hit crime flick “The Departed” into a trilogy. Now on the face of it that would seem hard to do, with the two leads from the original being dead and all, but as the Hong Kong original (from which “The Departed” was remade from) attest, you don’t need living characters to make two pointless sequels. One way to do it would be for Scorsese to retrace the paths that led Leonardo Dicaprio and Matt Damon’s characters to their fates in “The Departed”. A prequel, if you will. Another would be to take Mark Wahlberg’s character and spin it off. God knows Wahlberg was insanely good in the flick. Then again, this could never happen, regardless of how much the studio wants it to happen.
Hollywood Retardation Strikes Again: “The Thing” Remake Underway
Of course Hollywood is remaking John Carpenter’s 1982 sci-fi masterpiece “The Thing”. Why wouldn’t they? Hollywood is not only out of ideas, but it’s being run by a bunch of retards without a single clue as to what an original idea even is. In fact, why make something new when you can just remake an old movie or an old TV show? It’s laziness at its finest, and that’s Hollywood for ya. Oh sure, the Carpenter version of “The Thing” was a remake in itself, but if you’ve seen it, you know it was light years ahead of the Hawks original. Making matters worst, the studios have tapped “Battlestar Galactica’s” Ron Moore to pen the script. Moore blows. His “BG” is vastly overrated, made popular by critics who drools over Moore’s as-subtle-as-a-sledgehammer-to-the-forehead anti-Bush administration plot lines. The culprits are those geniuses at Strike Entertainment, which also did the “Dawn of the Dead” remake. Nice going, douche bags.
Naomi Watts in “The Birds” Remake
From a giant, furry king of the jungle to little, furry birds? Apparently that’s the curious path Naomi Watts’ career is taking, as she is expected to sign onto the remake of Hitchcock’s “The Birds” anyday now. The remake is the brainchild of “Armageddon” director Michael Bay, who has inexplicably decided to remake the film for a few years now for some UnGodly reason. Bay and company have just given the writing job to Leslie Dixon, who also scribed the remake of “The Thomas Crown Affair”. Now I’m no cinematic douche that thinks all classics shouldn’t be remade, but what in the world would be the point of remaking “The Birds” except to toss in a sea of CGI birds? Seriously, Hollywood, you’re really starting to piss me off now.
Gong Li in Miami Vice
I have to admit, the big-screen remake of “Miami Vice” is one of the few movies I’m actually looking forward to in 2006. Heck, I didn’t even care about “Pirates of the Caribbean” or overly enthuse about “Superman Returns”, but damn, I’m really looking forward to Michael Mann’s remake of his own show. And no, I didn’t “grow up” with the show in the ’80s. I was but a wee little one when the show came on, so the only memories I have of the original series were bad ones (the clothes! the closes!). In any case, here are some stills of the Gong Li from the upcoming crime flick, which stars Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell as hardcore undercover cops. From a couple of these pictures, it looks like Gong is getting something else hard from Colin. Ahem.