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Celebrity Pictures, Hot Babes, Entertainment News, and Other Topics of Random Interest. But Mostly Pictures of Hot Celebrities.Archive | Funny Stuff RSS feed for this category
Another Reason why Soccer Blows
See, this is precisely why I joined the Americans Against Soccer Association (or AASA as we like to call ourselves), because soccer blows, and kids shouldn’t be playing it in the States. Here’s a good example of why soccer sucks: the French plays it. I mean, come on, the French! Those guys haven’t enjoyed doing something yet that has been worthwhile. But hey, don’t let my totally illogical bias against the French sway you. Check out this footage of a soccer move gone terribly, terribly wrong. Then listen to the kids laughing as one of their own takes a shot to the face. See what I mean? Soccer doesn’t just suck donkey balls, it also turns your kids into bastards! Now you understand? (P.S. AASA is currently accepting applications for new members…)
More Proof Chicks Can’t Drive
11 November 2008
You know that old chauvinist saying that girls can’t drive? Well sure, it’s very macho and demeaning to woman, but you know what else about it? It happens to be true! (Or at least, that’s what I tell my buddies when I’m with them. When my girlfriend is around, I of course will demand they apologize for such a neanderthal thinking.) Of course, the truth is, chicks really can’t drive. Take a look at this surveillance video from a gas station. Pay attention to the woman who has just bought a pack of smokes at the beginning and goes out the door. She gets into her car, reverses, and before you know it — BAM! Right back into the store. P.S. I love the last guy who didn’t get out of the way. Dude, the damage is already done, stop running like a little girl!
Guy vs. Vending Machine
3 November 2008
Vending machines are a college student’s best friend. Where else are you gonna go for a quick lunch in-between classes? What, the school cafeteria, where you’ll have to stand in line for 20 minutes just to place your order? The alley between the Chem building and the Pharm building where undergrads give handjobs to student aides for the answers to next week’s pop quiz? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s all about the vending machines. And that’s why, boys and girls, you should never try to jump kick a vending machine. Not only do they not deserve the abuse (having given so much to us already), but you probably won’t win. Let this video be a lesson to you — leave the vending machines alone! God bless them.
Don’t Vote PSA Becomes Nicolas Cage PSA
10 October 2008
You may or may not have seen those celebrity PSAs that tells you not to vote. You know, the one that thinks it’s just soooooooooo clever? Basically, because celebrities think you’re fucking morons, they’ll do a PSA telling you not to vote, so that way you’ll go out and vote. Yeah, that makes real sense, you hypocrite limousine-driving millionaires. Anyways, someone did the smart thing and made that retarded PSA useful by inserting their own little clips into it. Except this PSA isn’t about voting, it’s about the actor Nicolas Cage, and how bad his movies are, and why in God’s name does Nic Cage continue to work. Now I happen to like Nic Cage, but yeah, I’ll admit it, the guy sure puts out a lot of manure. What is he, afraid he’ll never work again if he doesn’t take every acting job offered to him? Anyways, funny stuff. Please to enjoy.
This is How to NOT Play Dodgeball
8 October 2008
Hey kids, remember dodgeball? No? Well, let me assure you, there was actually a sports played in public school called dodgeball. It involved getting a bunch of kids together, and trying not to pick the fat and slow kids in your class. That done, you separate into two sides, and begin flinging balls at each other. Yup, we actually did that in school. You know, before America became a country of pussies, and they started outlawing dodgeball in school. Hey, if I had to get hit in the balls by a big, inflated ball, then by God my kids are gonna get smack there, too! Anyways, in case you ever find yourself playing dodgeball, this is NOT how you do it. I.e. use your hands, or if you must, your back, but for crying out loud, don’t try to catch with your face. Good times, good times…
Paul Blart: Mall Cop Trailer. Why? Because God Loves You, That’s Why.
8 October 2008
I like Kevin James, I really do, which is why I’m probably going to watch “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” when it shows up on TV. Or when Blockbuster suckers my nephew into renting a copy when this thing hits DVD. The plot: “Mall cop Paul Blart loves his job but his enthusiasm and dedication gets only contempt from his colleagues and the mall employees. Paul finally gets the respect he deserves when he thwarts Veck Sims’ master plan to rob the entire mall, and in the process earns the love of kiosk owner Naomi when he saves both her and his own daughter, Maya, from the bad guys.” Basically, a lot of “Damn, Kevin James is fat” jokes, which is always good for a laugh. That, plus the notion of extreme sports bad guys once again gets re-used, because, you know, “xXx” and that crap haven’t used it up yet. Shit, doesn’t even the Bond movies have extreme sports bad guys now?
Cuba’s Angel Matos Kicks Olympics Ref in the Face
23 August 2008
I couldn’t believe this when I first heard it on the news. Seriously, this is the type of stuff that only happens in the movies. You know, where the hero is young and brash, and when he is disqualified for a TaeKwonDo match at the Olympics, he gets mad and punches and kicks the ref in the face and is subsequently banned from the sport forever? He then spends the rest of the movie trying to take on the world, but at the end, finds redemption by realizing his mistake. Or something like that. Cuban’s Angel Matos isn’t a movie character, but he mind as well be. After being disqualified during his Bronze Medal Match for taking too much time for an injury, Matos got pissed and decided to take it out on the Swedish ref. I only have one thing to say: Angel Matos is da man! Who knew the Olympics could be so fun?
Spinal Cord Damage is Funny
18 June 2008
Granted, there’s nothing overly funny about cervical spine bone fracture or the spinal cord damage, but if done right, it’s good for a chuckle or two. Here’s the premise of this video from Japan: “The object of the game was to stand back to back and try to knock the other person off the raft into the rice field. Watch the guy in the red jacket in the second round, suffered a cervical spine bone fracture and the spinal cord damage.” That’ll teach him to play games on TV when he’s supposed to be working. And apparently, according to that flashing “Live” sign, this thing was live on Japanese TV when it happened. Fake or real? You decide.
Reporter, Meet Fly. Fly, Meet Reporter’s Mouth.
11 June 2008
Think you’ve seen all the foul-mouthed reporter caught on tape on the net? You probably haven’t seen this one yet. A reporter is out in the open field doing a report when a fly flies right into his mouth. He starts spitting it out, cursing like a sailor all the while, and starts getting into a diatribe about “this country ass f–k up town”. The funny part is, pay attention to the beginning of his report — he’s smooth as anything you’ve seen on the news, but once the fly goes into his mouth, it all falls apart. Anyways, I wonder if he ever got out of this “country ass mother f–ker”?
Scientologists Talks About Being Scientologists. One Word: Awesome.
5 June 2008
So what’s it like being a Scientologist? Hey, everyone wants to know. Some say it’s a cult. Others say it’s an honest to goodness religion designed to help you get through with life, to help others, and as Tom Cruise would say, to save people involved in car accidents. Or something like that. Anyhoo, here’s a good refresher course on what it means to be a Scientologist. And yes, I’m pretty sure the dude in the plaid shirt i.e. the country guy is a plant, while everyone else is real. Maybe. So what’s it like being a Scientologist? In a word: it’s friggin’ awesome, dude. See and hear it for yourself if you don’t believe me.
Family Guy Puke-a-Thon
27 May 2008
Let’s face it, if you can’t laugh at a perfectly brilliant puking scene, you just don’t have a sense of humor. Or maybe you’re just too damn high-falutin’, in which case, what the heck are you doing on this site? So here’s a pretty damn funny puking scene from Family Guy. It’s 90 seconds long, and features Peter, Brian, Stewie, and Chris trying out some new drink (I have no idea what that thing is) and trying desperately not to puke. Needless to say, they fail. Miserably. You haven’t laughed your ass off until you’ve laughed your ass off at a baby puking his guts out and then bawling, and then puking some more.
Women + Oprah = Thank God I’m Not a Chick
19 May 2008
To be honest with you, I don’t know if this says more about the cult of personality that is Oprah, or the women who watches and attends her shows, or just women in general. So check out this clip from Oprah’s show, where she announces that she’s NOT going to be giving away free stuff to her audience, but her audience goes bonkers anyway. Remember, she said she’s NOT going to be giving away free stuff, but all they hear is “Oprah’s Favorite Things” and goes completely insane. I mean, out of their motherlovin’ minds. Now I don’t know if Oprah ended up giving these moonbats free stuff or not, the video is only two minutes long, but holy mother of God, I am so glad I’m not a chick. Seriously, if not for the boobs and you know what down there, I wouldn’t even bother with the lot of ‘em.
John McCain on Saturday Night Live: He’s Old
18 May 2008
If you’ve been listening to the Democrat talking heads on TV (and pretty much whenever they get the chance they’ll tell you), John McCain is old. Really, really old. So old that, apparently, if a wind blew at him, it would blow him to another State. McCain has heard it, heard the late-night jokes, and he decided to not fight it; instead, he joined in. I saw the tail end of his guest appearance on Saturday Night Live last night, and found the YouTube version. My favorite: “The oldness it takes to protect America, to honor her, love her and tell her about what cute things the cat did.” Will it backfire? Who knows. America loves people who makes fun of themselves. It might just be crazy enough to work for the old timer…
Olivia Munn is a Dirty, Dirty Girl
14 May 2008
How hot it is to listen to a really hot girl talk dirty? Olivia Munn is one such hot girl, and she was talking pretty dirty in this behind-the-scenes clip from her Complex video shoot. Basically it’s just two minutes of Olivia sitting in a chair doing a gag about which male body odor spray will make a girl jump your bones, and if that works, what else would it do? She also throws out some Asian jokes and a couple of f-bombs, so don’t play this while you’re at work, boys, and I know some of you are at work right now. You dirty, dirty little bastards. What are you doing visiting this site while your boss is walking up and down the hallway? Anyhoo. Olivia Munn talks dirty. God, she’s hot.
Han Solo Grabs a Handful of Princess Leia Boobage
13 May 2008
Can you really blame Han Solo for grabbing a handful of Princess Leia boobage after seeing her in that gold metal bikini being fondled by the disgusting Jabba the Hutt? I bet while he was trapped in carbonite Han Solo had nothing but time to think about how he’d grab himself a handful of Princess Leia goodness when he got the chance. And as luck would have it, the chance came during the battle for the Ewok moon, when Princess Leia gets blasted, fell down, and Han Solo made his move. (Han Solo? More like All-Hands Solo!) Way to go, you rogue! (The video was put together by these guys, who had too much time on their hands, God bless’em.)
Bill O’Reilly Needs Words. Words!!!
13 May 2008
Remember that old Saturday Night Live skit with Will Ferrell as one of those really lame personalities on a morning talk show, where the teleprompter suddenly dies and Ferrel and his co-host goes nuts, eventually becoming cannibals — all because the teleprompter refuses to “give them words” to read? Well apparently that’s not so far fetch. Here’s an old clip of Fox News’ Bill Oreilly blowing a huge gasket after he doesn’t quite “get” what his producers are trying to say on the teleprompters. Either that, or Bill doesn’t like Sting. Either way, it’s funny as hell, and shows you two sides of Bill O’Reilly — check out how quickly he shifts from nice on-air guy that’s all smiles to a raving lunatic throwing out f-bombs and verbally abusing his studio guys. Holy crap, this one’s gonna go around for a while!
Charles Barkley Gets Punked on TNT
9 May 2008
I love Charles Barkley. Not because he’s the smartest guy on TV, or the best basketball player to ever play the game despite being grossly overweight, but because it’s so fun watching him on TNT’s pre and post-game shows. I love the fact that Barkley will always say what he thinks, even when it turns out to be completely wrong. And let’s face it, even fans of Charles will have to say that the dude gets a lot of things wrong. Like, 9 out of 10 things he says turns out wrong, especially on basketball. But he’s a riot, and during a recent TNT showing, Charles got punked. Reading teleprompters are so easy that sometimes those reading it don’t even bother to think about what they’re reading. Here’s one such occasion. You’ve been punked, Charles!
It’s On! Stephen Colbert vs Rain Dance-Off
8 May 2008
Now I’m not a Stephen Colbert fan or anything. I think the guy is funny, but I’ve seen him on the Daily Show, and he works in two to five minute spurts, but a whole show around him doing his shtick? I don’t think I could take it. But even as a non-fan, I know he’s been doing this gag where he challenged South Korean pop star and now “Speed Racer” actor Rain (or Bi, as he’s also known) to a dance off. Apparently Rain has been saying no — UNTIL NOW. So yes, there’s Colbert cleaning the cameras in his studio late at night when Rain arrives for the much-anticipated dance off. I have to admit, Colbert is pretty funny here, but pretty much only because he’s not doing his jackass shtick.
Tiffany Shepherd: Too Hot for Teacher
6 May 2008
Hey, we all wish we were hot, don’t we? Of course, sometimes being hot just isn’t enough — or maybe, it ends up being too much, and it gets us fired. From our teaching job. Because we moonlight in a two-piece bikini on a yacht and somehow some people who weren’t meant to see it found out. You know, the usual story. That’s exactly what happened to 30-year old Florida teacher Tiffany Shepherd. To be honest with you, she’s not even all that hot — a mildly attractive girl with ugly tattoos and a huge rack. Wait, did I say she wasn’t even all that hot? I meant, she’s incredibly hot. The huge rack really helps, you know. An actual news report (yes, an actual news report) on her firing and some gratuitous shots of her in bikini via a video salute. God bless the public education system. And the Internets.
A Family of Idiots on Deal or No Deal
5 May 2008
Let’s face it, no one goes on the game show Deal or No Deal and pays any attention to the models. Or at least, most of the girls don’t. The guys? Well, they’re probably DISTRACTED by the models. Too distracted to, you know, pick numbers, and stuff. (God, is this game for retards or what?) In any case, when the game show puts your SISTER on the game as one of the models, and the host keeps telling you to LOOK at her, don’t you? Apparently not so much, because the contestant on this edition of Deal or No Deal is completely clueless. Not her fault, since it appears her mom is also retarded. “She has to feel it”, says the retarded sister, when prodded by the host to LOOK at the models.
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19 November 2008