The Random Stuff of Interests Page

It Doesn’t Suck to Be … Bruce Willis

For a balding guy in his ’60s (he’s in his ’60s, right?), Bruce Willis sure knows how to live up life. Hell, I’ll be lucky if I accomplish 5% of the things in my entire lifetime that this guy gets done in one morning. Such as marrying a gorgeous Victoria’s Secret supermodel, which Willis has just done when he hooked up with Emma Heming over the weekend. Lucky bastard. Take a look at some Emma Heming pics below, and then join me in wishing ill on Bruce Willis, will you? Okay, we like the guy, and we don’t want anything to happen to him, but holy shit … Emma Heming is HOT.

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It Doesn’t Suck to Be … Mark Consuelos

So who is Mark Consuelos, you ask? Well, not being a daytime soap opera fan, I don’t blame you for not knowing who he is. Consuelos is a Spanish actor, and one of the stars of ABC’s long-running daytime soap All My Children, where he plays the role of Mateo Santos Sr., no doubt a suave Spanish dude who gets all the chicks. Besides being handsome, with a great last name to pick up girls with, and a burgeoning movie career, Consuelos is also married to Kelly Ripa, the hardest working woman in showbiz. And just in case you still don’t get why it doesn’t suck to be Consuelos, take a gander at what he goes home to every night below. Seriously, I hate this guy.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be … Reggie Bush

It sure doesn’t suck to be Reggie Bush. The former USC running back blasted onto the NFL with the New Orleans after those idiots in Houston took Mario Williams at #1 instead of him, and did to pros just what he has been doing to college athletes — he ran rings around them. And now word is that Reggie Bush is putting it to big booty and bodacious socialite Kim Kardashian, who has yet to meet a famous black dude she didn’t want to cozy that big booty up to. (Did I mention that Kim Dardashian has a really juicy big booty?) Is there any doubt that Bush will be even better in his second NFL career? If this guy doesn’t end up in the Superbowl sooner or later, I’m going to eat my leather shoe, and it tastes really, really awful.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be … Tony Romo

Boy, does it not suck to be Tony Romo. (Well, except for that one game up there in Seattle…) How exactly does a college quarterback from Eastern Illinois University land the main main job with the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys? Or for that matter, how does a guy from San Diego end up on the arms of America’s sweetheart, Carrie Underwood and attending the 2007 Country Music Awards (pictures below)? Don’t ask me, I’m just a schmuck who types on a computer for a living. But however Tony Romo did it, I wish he’d let me know. (Plus, that’s a cool last name. “Romo”. Damn, this guy has it all! Damn him!) Of course, there’s always that game up in Seattle…

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It Doesn’t Suck to be… Kid Rock

Kid Rock’s life pisses me off. Imagine being this guy — scruffy, dirty, skinny, not even capable of matching “average” in the looks department. He hails from Detroit, and seems proud of it (why?), had one hit song and somehow managed to ride it for years, and just recently he was putting it regularly to Pam “Boom Boom” Anderson. Now he’s out and about with supermodel May Andersen and, one presumes, putting it to her regularly as well. And the worst part of it? I kinda like the guy. He seems totally cool, which makes it not suck to be Kid Rock.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be…Leonardo DiCaprio

If I were to list all the reasons why Leonardo DiCaprio’s life doesn’t suck, I would be here all day, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and quite possibly, the next month. This guy has it all. Looks, talent, fame, fortune, Oscar nominations (how many has this punk been nominated, and wasn’t he first nominated when he was just a teen?) and of course, A-class poontang is at his beck and call He’s dated Gisele Bundchen and just about every supermodel he feels like it, and his current girlfriend is Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli, who this year joins the ranks of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue babeapalooza. Oh yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio’s life doesn’t suck one iota.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be… Richie Sambora

You know, I can stand Tom Brady getting Grade-A tail like Bridget Moynahan (and apparently now Gisele Bundchen) — I mean, the guy is talented, an amazing quarterback, and hell, he’s even as good looking as Brad Pitt, minus the girlie qualities of Pitt. But Richie Sambora? Come on! This guy plays guitar in a rock band, can’t sing, looks like a manatee, and he’s gone from Heather Locklear to Denise Richards? And now he spends all his time frolicking on Hawaiian beaches while Denise Richards parades around in a variety of bikinis for him? I tell you, it doesn’t suck to be Richie Sambora. Where’s my rock band? Guys? Anyone? I can stand in the back playing guitar, too. Well, not really, but I could learn. How hard is it to play guitar, anyway?

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It Doesn’t Suck to be…Gisele Bundchen

Gisele Bundchen is 5′10, 26 years old, and she makes more money than God. Well, okay, maybe not more than God, but she certainly makes more money than all of us combined, coming in 16th place on Forbes’ Top 20 Richest Woman in Entertainment, a list that includes Oprah Winfrey. She once dated Leonardo DiCaprio before, rumor has it, moving onto Tom Brady. She’s Brazilian, she’s got legs that go on forever, and she can get any man she wants. And oh yeah, there’s that whole modeling thing, where she’s required to walk up and down a narrow path for an hour and then make millions. Damn, where can I get that job?

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It Doesn’t Suck to be…Tom Brady

The life of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady doesn’t suck. Let’s count the ways, shall we? He’s handsome as hell, athletic as hell, and he’s a pro NFL quarterback making millions. He’s won three Superbowl rings in five years, he has one of the winningest Playoff record of all time, and yesterday afternoon he pulled out a miraculous win against the San Diego Chargers and reigning NFL MVP LaDanian Tomlinson in a game that, by all rights, the Patriots should have lost many times over. He even threw an interception that should have ended the game, but instead won the game for him. Now Brady is going to play the Indianapolis Colts for the right to go to his fourth Superbowl in six years. And oh yeah, his girlfriend is actress Bridget Moynahan. Screw you, Tom Brady!

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