Lionsgate Has “The Eye” for Jessica Alba
According to industry trade Variety, Lionsgate is picking up the remake rights to the Hong Kong horror flick “The Eye” from Paramount and Tom “Wacky Tacky” Cruise, who was supposed to remake it years ago but didn’t. And who does Lionsgate want to play the role of a young blind woman who gets a cornea transplant and starts seeing ghosts? Try Jessica Alba. If you’ve seen the original, you’ll know this is a bad idea. Why? Because the role requires an actor who can emote, who can be moody, who can act; Jessica Alba is 0 for 3. Hey, she’s a real cutie, but let’s face it, the poor girl can’t act her way out of a wet sock. But she sure can fill out a bikini. Pictures of Jessica Alba at the beach in a bikini two-piece below.
Jessica Alba Likes it Doggie Style
I don’t care how hot Jessica Alba is, but this is just not right. In fact, it’s so not right that I’m filing it under, “Oh man, come on, we have millions of years of evolution under our belt, and you go and do this in front of the paparazzi?” where it belongs. Here’s Jessica Alba letting her dog lick her. No, not the boyfriend. Her actual dog. Sick, Jessica! Now go home and brush your teeth, young lady!
Jessica Alba in Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List” Issue
How easy is this? So you got a special “Must List” issue of your magazine, and you slap a giant photo of Jessica Alba on the front cover. And inside, you have pictures of Jessica being photographed, i.e. pictures of pictures being taken. Nice! Here’s Jessica on the cover and inside the pages of that EW Must List issue. Small pics, I know, but deal with it, kiddos.
Suck on it, Jessica Alba! Suck it!
No, really, look, Jessica Alba is sucking it. A lollipop. What did you think I meant? Oh, you dirty little rascals, shame on you. Tsk tsk and all that good stuff.
Jessica Alba has Gaps in her Legs
MTV Movie Awards MC duties, King Kong parodies, and comic book movies? What can’t Jessica Alba do? (And let’s not forget, she was once the star of her very own TV show. Oh sure, it got canned after one year despite having James Cameron’s name attached, but that’s neither here nor there.) Adding to her hefty resume, here’s Jessica shilling for Gap jeans, complete with bendable poses ala Paris Hilton.
Jessica Alba as a Blonde
Pictures of Jessica Alba as a blonde. Hey, why not? She’s hot, so she can do whatever she wants, including dying her hair blonde for absolutely no reason. Although I did see her as a blonde doing Naomi Watts for that “King Kong” skit on MTV, and she looked pretty good there. I sure wouldn’t mind seeing Jessica as a redhead, too…
Jessica Alba Does the 2006 MTV Movie Awards
Jessica Alba on the stage doing the MC thang, picking up an award (golden friggin pop corn, fer Christ), and I missed it. Dagnabbit. Well, actually, I never bothered to catch it, so I guess — wait, is it over? Or are they showing it later this week? Man, I really gotta keep abreast of these things. Speaking of abreast, I think I got bigger titties than poor Jessica. Ouch.
Jessica Alba at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards
This year’s host, Jessica Alba, arrives at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards to play MC. The lovely Miss Alba is looking lovely as usual, or at least until the end, when some short blonde midget pushed her way into the picture. Damn, what a media whore! Anyways, Jessica didn’t just host the awards, but she also won for “Sexiest Performance” in “Sin City”, where she played a hooker who didn’t take off her clothes. Which, if you’re keeping track, makes “Sin City” the movie even less realistic than the original Frank Miller comic books, where “young Nancy” was shown in all her glory. Stupid Hollywood.
Jessica Alba is Tat, Baby!
Check it out, kids. Everybody’s Dream Girl Jessica Alba, Miss Fantastic One herself, has a tattoo underneath her right wrist. Don’t know if it’s real or one of those lame, posuer temporary tattoos (I spit on anyone with a fake tattoo — PFFT!), but it’s surprising to see her with it. If it’s real, I mean. Girl’s got a bit of a bad girl streak underneath all that goody two shoes, perhaps? One can only hope.
Your Mystery Weekend Treat
Here’s your mystery treat for the weekend, kiddies. She’s hot. She’s the object of everyone’s wet dream. She can’t really act, but you let it go because, well, like I said, she’s really, really hot. In fact, she’s downright fantastic. Read on to find out who your mysterious weekend treat is…
Jessica Alba 2006 MTV Movie Awards Promo
Jessica Alba does some promo work for her upcoming hosting gig at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards. Remember the day when the only celebrities that would show up at the MTV Movie Awards were the ones guaranteed to win? And even then, half of the winners never bothered to show up, but did their “thanks” via satellite feeds. Now the Awards show has gotten so big everyone shows up just to look “hip”. Anyways, I don’t know how Jessica will handle this hosting gig. I mean, she has to read off cue cards and have joke writers. Come on, don’t tell me the girl knows how to ab lib jokes. I smell a disaster in the making.
Babes and the 2006 NCLR ALMA Awards
Looks like Hollywood was out and about for the 2006 ALMA Awards this Sunday. Some of the babes present was a dangerously orange Jessica Simpson, a smoking hot Jessica Alba in a black number, Latina songstress Paulina Rubio, big ass mother trucker Jennifer Lopez, desperate housewife Eva Longoria taking time off from watching her boyfriend cut a swath through the NBA Playoffs, not-really-any-talent chick Carmen Electra, and of course the always gorgeous and illuminating Roselyn Sanchez. And oh yeah, the ALMA Awards celebrates Latinos in the entertainment biz and such.
Jessica Alba to Host 2006 MTV Movie Awards
“Into the Blue” star Jessica Alba has been tapped to host the 2006 MTV Movie Awards, to be held this year on June 3. Alba is ecstatic about hosting the always “hip” (snicker) awards show, and why not, it’s probably the only movie awards she has any chance of winning. Look, I like Jessica Alba, but come on, can’t we just admit it? She ain’t no Charlize Theron. (Then again, she never made a movie as crappy as “Aeon Flux”, so maybe that’s a compliment.) But anyways, check out the first picture, and look at the woman in the background starring at Jessica’s ass. Heh heh.
Jessica Alba’s Almost Nip Slip
Damn Jessica Alba’s fast reactionary timing! While attending the US Weekly Hot Hollywood bash like all of Hollywood’s hot little minxes, Jessica Alba nearly had a nipple slip when the strap of her gown fell off on the red carpet (see the pictures). Unfortunately Jessica was too quick, and grabbed the rebel strap before it could peel away to reveal her, what we can only assume, revealing bra. Then again, maybe our imaginations are just working over time. One can only dream…
Jessica Alba is Tired of Playing Vixens
Jessica Alba has been pretty vocal lately about getting away from the sexy roles. According to the curvy babe, she’s more inclined towards romantic comedies, say, opposite a guy like George Clooney. I guess nobody told Jessica that Georgie boy only does serious movies about how evil Bush is nowadays. Duh!
Jessica Alba in FHM Collections
Look, kids, it’s Jessica Alba with — gasp! — giant ’80s hair! Holy God. What happened here? Didn’t FHM used to mean sexy and half-naked girls in bikinis? Since when did being in FHM mean period costumes, giant friggin’ hair, and totally unarousing pictures??? Oh well, here’s Jessica Alba and the words “FHM” together, although it’s all kinda disappointing to be honest.
Jessica Alba in Movieline Magazine
Who can blame Playboy for putting Jessica Alba on the cover? Look at her. Don’t you wish you could see the sexy little lass without all those bothersome clothes? Yeah, me, too. Here’s Jessica in a very hot (though unfortunately clothed) spread for Movieline from 2005.
Hot Famous Women on the Red Carpet — at the Oscars!
It’s that time of the year again, when hot famous women in expensive dress walks down a bright red carpet and crazy photographers snap pictures of them. Woohoo! It’s the Oscars again, baby! And for your viewing pleasure, a group of Oscar arrivals by some of Hollywood’s hottest women.
Jessica Alba Threatens to Sue Playboy Over Cover
Fight fight fight! Looks like hot to trot actress Jessica Alba is steamed that Playboy put a picture of her from “Into the Blue” (where she appears in a bikini throughout) on the cover of their March issue. She’s so mad and she isn’t going to take it anymore, thus — a lawsuit! Or, actually, a threatened lawsuit. Read on!
Jessica Alba in Cinemania (and Esquire)
Jessica Alba sure likes bikinis, and God bless her for realizing that people love her not for her non-existent talent, but rather for her very much existing gorgeous good looks. Here she is in the Spanish cinema magazine Cinemania (which, if I’m not mistaken, takes the pictures from Esquire Magazine?) dressed as various famous movie characters and that weird looking girl from “Secretary”. Plus Marilyn Monroe, I think. Man, does my Old Movie IQ suck or what?