Archive | Jessica Biel RSS feed for this category

Nicolas Cage and Jessica Biel in “Next”, Trailer

15 March 2007

Nicolas Cage’s latest sci-fi thriller “Next” is getting released next month, on April 27th, 2007, but you wouldn’t know it from all the (lack of) publicity for the film. It’s based on a short story by “Minority Report” and “Total Recall” writer Philip K. Dick, and stars Cage alongside Jessica Biel as his girlfriend and Julianne Moore as a hardass Fed who recruits (sort of) Cage’s character, who is psychic and can see what happens next, to save the world. He’s not thrilled about it, alas. “Next” is directed by “Die Another Day’s” Lee Tamahori, who was last seen getting arrested for prostituting himself while cross dressing in L.A.

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel Booty Delivery

22 January 2007

Maybe I’m wrong, but wasn’t Jessica Biel just in Hawaii playing paddle with a ball (what is that game called, anyway? Ball and paddle or something?), and now she’s found herself down south in Puerto Rico sunbathing on a yacht and flashing that big ol booty around like it’s a weapon. Ah, the life of a rich and famous Hollywood celebrity. Seriously, how do these ladies ever manage to survive out there? It’s just so harsh, what with all the easy money, fame, and countless vacation spree. Can you tell that I’m a little envious? But perhaps Jessica Biel’s bootiliciousness can quell my anger…

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel Hawaii Bikini Pictures

27 December 2006

I am of two minds when it comes to everyone’s favorite Hollywood hardbodied babe Jessica Biel: she is to be congratulated for keeping herself incredibly fit; then again, the woman has bigger biceps that me. The latter, alas, doesn’t say very much about me, but it does say tons about Jessica. She’s a gym rat and cares about her body, whereas I think lifting a bag of Cheetos qualifies as extraneous exercise. See the difference? In any case, here’s the former “Seventh Heaven” beauty all grown up and bikini’ing it up in Hawaii. One ticket to Hawaii, please!

Continue reading...

Nicolas Cage Mindf–ks Philip K. Dick’s “Next”

5 December 2006

Hey, that’s what the guy said! Look: “If you’re looking for the Philip K. Dick mindf–k, you will get it,” Cage said in an interview at a preview of his other upcoming film, Ghost Rider, in Hollywood last week. “[It's] based on a Philip K. Dick short story about a man who has the prescient ability to see two minutes within his own future.” See? What’d I tell ya? Cage is talking about Dick’s short story “The Golden Man”, which Cage will star in next alongside Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel — the former plays a fed who needs Cage’s help to find a terrorist nuke, and the latter plays his love interest. The film, scheduled for September 2007, will be directed by convicted cross dresser Lee Tamahori (”The Cell”).

Continue reading...

Wesley Snipes is a Fugitive

17 October 2006

Oh, how the bigtime have fallen. Remember when Wesley Snipes was the black Hollywood star? His “Blade” films did gangbuster business, and then — nothing. Snipes inexplicably disappeared to Romania, where he did a ton of crap direct-to-video action movies that nobody but me saw. And now Uncle Sam wants to punish the former action star further — by jailing him for tax evasion! Yikes. Read on…

Continue reading...

New “Home of the Brave” Stills

4 October 2006

Two new stills from the upcoming Iraq war movie “Home of the Brave”, starring Jessica Biel and Samuel L. Jackson as soldiers returning home from the war and dealing with the aftermath of what happened “over there”. The first one has Jessica Biel in Army fatigues (yum), while the other one has Sam Jackson in a Hummer (eh). I’m really looking forward to the movie, because as we all know, any movie where Jackson wears army fatigues is guaranteed to be kickass.

Continue reading...

Movie Trailer for Iraq War Movie “Home of the Brave”

27 September 2006

Samuel L. Jackson goes from battling motherphuckin’ snakes on a plane to helping Iraq War II vets deal with coming home from the war. The sale copy: Directed by Irwin Winkler, this powerful film tells the story of four American soldiers nearing the end of their tours of duty in Iraq. Shortly after learning their unit will soon return home, they are sent on one final humanitarian mission and the unit is ambushed. With many lives lost, the surviving troops suffer both physical and psychological injuries. Now, as they return to the United States, four soldiers must face memories of the past as they look towards the future and return to civilian life. The film stars Samuel Jackson, Jessica Biel, Curtis Jackson and Brian Presley.

Continue reading...

Those Jessica Biel Kissing Another Girl Pictures…

21 September 2006

So Jessica Biel was about to head off to the airport when she said goodbye to a friend at her house. The friend just happened to be another attractive girl and instead of a nice hug or kiss on the cheek they went for a kiss on the lips. Soon, pictures popped up all over the Internet, and people are all abuzz about it. Now I’m pretty sure Jessica Biel isn’t a lesbian, but apparently there are a lot of guys on the Internet who really loves lesbians, so these pictures of Jessica kissing a girl has become almost legendary in a matter of days. Which goes to show you — the idea of a hot girl getting it on with another hot girl just drives guys nuts.

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel has Junk in the Trunk (aka a Big ol Ass)

17 August 2006

Who knew that of all the white girls in Hollywood it would be Jessica Biel who embraces the mythical (and usually ethnic-inclined) “junk in the trunk”. I mean, we’re talking about the girl from “7th Heaven” here, for God’s sake (pun intended). Then again, we are talking about the girl that showed up mostly topless in Gear Magazine, so… Here’s Jessica Biel and her big ol ass (the benefits of being a gym rat, no doubt, as Jessica has bigger muscles than you or I) at the red carpet premiere of her new movie “The Illusionist”, co-starring Edward Norton as David Copperfield’s evil twin. (Wait, is that last part redundant?)

Continue reading...

Adam Sandler is Gay, Jessica Biel Isn’t

2 August 2006

In his new romantic comedy, Adam Sandler puts down the clicker to play a not-gay firefighter who poses as a gay firefighter in order to get gay benefits, but he ends up falling for the hot lawyer (Jessica Biel) representing him. Kevin James, (in)famous as the star of the improbably successful sitcom “King of Queens”, plays Sandler’s not-gay/gay male lover and fellow firefighter. Funny thing about this? I’m willing to bet Jessica Biel has bigger muscles than Adam Sandler. The flick is called “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”, and is sure to be a major hoot and two-thirds.

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel Sucks

17 July 2006

A lollipop. She sucks a lollipop! Of course Jessica Biel doesn’t suck. Any woman who goes to such great lengths to look as good as Jessica, even walking her dog, gets brownie points. This woman must really love her dog, too, because there are new pictures of her walking her dog just about every day. You’d think she could afford a dog walker. Don’t celebrities just hire dog walkers? Good for Jessica for doing it herself. By the way, you think she trained her dog to turn his back on the camera and start doing his “business” just as the cameras started snapping? P.S. Notice how her glasses actually fit her face instead of trying to gobble it up. Pay attention, Paris!

Continue reading...

Hot Chicks Love the ESPY Awards

13 July 2006

The ESPYs, for those of you who don’t know (and that probably goes for most of you) is an Awards Show for, well, athletes. It’s the brainchild of ESPN, and basically hands out pre-approved awards to jocks in attendance in various categories. The whole thing is a big ruse for Hollywood stars to mingle with their athletic idols, and blah blah blah. This year’s awards show is hosted by Tour De Lance. But nevermind that. Hot chicks in attendance at this year’s ESPY includes Carmen “What am I Famous for again?” Electra, Christine “Don’t Call Me Marsha Marsha Marsha!” Taylor, Mariah “Boobies! Boobies for Everyone!” Carey, Ashley “I Married a French Guy!” Judd, Danica “I Like ‘Em Fast and Hard, Baby!” Patrick, Eva “I’m the OTHER Eva” Mendes, Maria “Someone Called for a Goddess?” Sharapova, and of course, Jessica “Just Call me Hard Body” Biel.

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel Bikini Pictures

5 July 2006

I think by now everyone knows that “Stealth” star Jessica Biel is a bit of a gym rat. The pretty brunette from the WB’s “7th Heaven”, who once graced Gear Magazine butt nekkid trying to get out of her contract to the family friendly show, has grown up into a muscular (some would say too muscular) young woman who kicks vampire ass and forgets to take names. Here’s that girl now at the beach in a red floral bikini tossing footballs around with her doggies. Lucky doggies. By the way, Jessica sure has some junk in that trunk, eh?

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel’s Got Quite “A Pair”

12 June 2006

Originally I wasn’t going to post this, but when I realized I could make some juvenile crack about Jessica Biel having “quite a pair”, I of course had to jump at the chance. It’s what makes life living, after all. Anywhatever, here’s Jessica Biel at the “What a Pair” charity concert, singing onstage. Now who in their right mind would pay to hear a tone-deaf celebrity sing to raise money for breast cancer? Any man with warm blood coursing through his veins, that’s who! Plus, Jessica is showing some fabuloso legs. Yowsa!

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel in Black

11 March 2006

Jessica Biel looks good in black. Oh what am I saying. Jessica Biel looks good in anything. Or, recently, out of anything. Here she is at a movie premiere somewhere on the red carpet in a black number. I’m not a big fan of the dress, but what the hey, it’s Jessica Biel in it, and that’s the important thing.

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel has Ridiculously Good Skin

19 February 2006

Besides being really, really good looking and ultra hot, rising superstar Jessica Biel (”Stealth” notwithstanding, although I kinda like it in a “dumb movie” kinda way) has insanely perfect skin. Plus perfect abs. Breasts. Skin tone. Basically, the woman is perfect, which makes me believe she might just be a robot. Or an alien. Either/or.

Continue reading...

Jessica Alba Tops AskMen.com’s Top 99 Women of 2006

31 January 2006

AskMen.com recently did their annual Top 99 women of the year, and screen siren Jessica Alba topped the list this year. Coming in second was British hottie Sienna Miller, followed by Angelina Jolie at #3.

The rest of the Top 10 Babes of 2006 shook out like this:

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel is Majorly Sexy

20 January 2006

Selected pictures proving that Jessica Biel is, in fact, one of the sexiest woman alive as it’s been deemed by those in the know (i.e. the magazine folks), and if you disagree she’s liable to kick your ass. Have you seen the guns on this woman? Holy hell! I don’t wanna say Jessica Biel has big muscles, but Jessica Biel has bigger muscles than me! (Then again, I am a bona fide weakling, so that’s not saying very much…)

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel is Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive

20 January 2006

Jessica Biel was named Esquire’s sexiest woman alive in 2005, which proves there are still magazines who aren’t total idiots and know their stuff. And by “stuff” I of course mean agreeing with me, which all magazines should do.

images resized for faster load time; click to enlarge

Continue reading...

Jessica Biel in Gear Magazine

8 January 2006

Remember when Jessica Biel was an innocent, “girl’s next door” type on the WB TV show “7th Heaven”? Well no one thought of her that way anymore after she did this spread for Gear Magazine!

images resized for faster load time; click to enlarge

Visit Gallery

Continue reading...