Jessica Simpson in “Employee of the Month” Poster
Jessica Simpson isn’t what you would call talented. Oh sure, I think she can sing. Maybe. But acting? I never saw the remake of “The Dukes of Hazzard,”, but since the only thing that movie required her to do was look skinny while wearing next to nothing, I’m going to assume it didn’t take a whole lot of thespian ability on her part to pull it off. So I’m approaching Jessica’s starring turn in “Employee of the Month” with caution. (And of course by “with caution” I mean I ain’t touchin’ this thing with a ten foot pole.) But anyways, here’s the poster for the movie if you’re interested, with Jessica featured prominently. Check it out late 2006 if it’s your thing.
Jessica Simpson’s “A Public Affair” CD Cover
I know it’s hard to believe, but once upon a time Jessica Simpson was a singer. But that was before the whole Lachey fiasco, the MTV brouhaha, the “My sister is trying to replace me, help!” scenario, and the whole “Jessica the Movie Star” complex. It would appear out lovely Miss Simpson is about to come out with a new album, called “A Public Affair”, and here is the CD cover.
Babes Love Free T-Mobile Swag
So T-Mobile is launching their new T-Mobile Sidekick 3 (which I hear is sidekickier than the previous 2) and of course they’re “launching” it with a party and inviting a buttload of hot celebrities to join the fun and get free T-Mobile swag. And of course, the babes came in droves, since as we all know, the only thing hot Hollywood babes love more than guys with great personality and a sense of humor and who likes quiet walks on the beach is free cellphone shit. You’d think they could just buy this stuff with all the money they have, but I digress. Continue for the full guess list…
Jessica Simpson in Maxim — the Complete Collection?
Finally, the complete Jessica Simpson appearance in Maxim Magazine. Maybe. Sort of. Possibly. Oh well, even if it’s not, it’s still more pictures of Jessica Simpson in Maxim Magazine. By the way, why is Jessica Simpson’s head the shade of carrots, and why did they choose that fugly one-piece for her to wear? I thought this was Maxim, not Homely Girl’s Weekly.
More of Jessica Simpson in Maxim
Well, to be honest, when I said “more” I actually meant one more. But hey, it’s still “more”, isn’t it? Ahem. Anywhatever, here is one more picture of Jessica Simpson in the latest issue of Maxim Magazine, this one from inside the mag. Not exactly revealing stuff, but hey, beggers can’t be choosers and all that junk.
Jessica Simpson on the Cover of Maxim
Jessica Simpson has finally stopped pretending to be chaste and “a good Southern belle” and gone the down and dirty route. Or at least as “down and dirty” as the U.S. version of Maxim has gotten in the past, which, although slightly sexy, was never that “down and dirty” to begin with. Having said that, it’s still pretty swanky to see Jessica’s boobs — er, I mean, Jessica — on the cover of Maxim. And of course, she’ll be inside the magazine’s latest issue as well. Run to the newstands, kids, don’t walk!
Scarlett Johansson’s Boobies Triumphs Over Salma Hayek’s and Jessica Simpson’s
File this one under, “Only in Hollywood would people even tolerate something as stupid as this,” but Scarlett Johansson’s breasts have been voted by the readers of In Touch Magazine as the “Best Breasts in Hollywood”. No, I kid you not. This was a real survey, by a real magazine, about real people. Coming in second and third were Salma Hayek and Jessica Simpson. Take a look at the samples below and judge for yourself!
Jessica Simpson at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards
A dangerously (some might say stupidly) tanned Jessica Simpson, still trying desperately to escape the “Single White Female”-esque motives of little sister Ashlee, ended up attending the 2006 MTV Movie Awards. Or actually, she was there to shill for her upcoming movie “Employee of the Month“, which co-stars that crazy but insanely funny comedian Dane Cook, seen onstage with Jessica in some of the photos. If you haven’t caught Cook’s act, I highly recommend it. He is one BAMF.
The Secret of Jessica Simpson’s Success
Despite evidence the contrary, singer-actor Jessica Simpson is actually not as dumb as people think. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that she’s twice as smart as the average blonde. Don’t believe me? Take a look…
Babes and the 2006 NCLR ALMA Awards
Looks like Hollywood was out and about for the 2006 ALMA Awards this Sunday. Some of the babes present was a dangerously orange Jessica Simpson, a smoking hot Jessica Alba in a black number, Latina songstress Paulina Rubio, big ass mother trucker Jennifer Lopez, desperate housewife Eva Longoria taking time off from watching her boyfriend cut a swath through the NBA Playoffs, not-really-any-talent chick Carmen Electra, and of course the always gorgeous and illuminating Roselyn Sanchez. And oh yeah, the ALMA Awards celebrates Latinos in the entertainment biz and such.
Jessica Simpson in Employee of the Month
Some new stills of blonde temptress Jessica Simpson, sister of Ashlee and daughter of Joe, in her new romantic comedy “Employee of the Month”. The film stars Simpson as the checkout girl who becomes the object of obsession for Ryan Reynolds and that dork from “Scrubs”. I think. Anyways, here are two pics from the movie.
Jessica Simpson Gets Wet for Blender Magazine
The newly single Jessica Simpson (who is, it seems, being sued for big buckos at the moment) getting all wet (but not very wild) in Blender Magazine. You get the feeling she’s thinking, “No more of this for you, Nicky boy” while she’s in these poses? Heh heh, I think so.
Jessica Simpson to do Baywatch
Or at least that’s the rumor going around. It seems Jessica has just about toss that singing career aside for a future career in B-movies, judging by the roles she’s taking. “The Dukes of Hazzard” and now this? Sheesh. Talk about voluntary career sabotage!
Jessica Simpson’s Cleavage Says Hi
Recently single Jessica Simpson must be on the prowl something fierce when she showed up at this event (probably a fashion show) wearing the world’s lowest cut dress and revealing some generous cleavage. The way those babies hang, there’s no way they’re implants.
Jessica Simpson in W Magazine
Singer, actress, MTV reality star, and how globe-hopping humanitarian. Who does Jessica Simpson think she is, a serious person? I liked her so much better when she couldn’t figure out the difference between chicken and tuna. But alas, all good things must end. Here’s the blonde ambition babe in W Magazine.
Jessica Simpson as a Drunk Pussycat Dolls?
I’m not really sure where these pictures are from, or what’s going on here, but it looks like Jessica Simpson is doing one of those Pussycat Dolls number for ex-hubby Nick Lachey. Man, does Jessica look sloshed out of her mind or what? And tanned. Man that’s some heavy tan out of a bottle!
Jessica Simpson Meets with President Bush
Earlier today Jessica Simpson met up with President Dubya Bush to talk about a celebrity cause (or some crap like that). There were earlier reports taht Jessica had left Bushy hanging, but as it turned out, that wasn’t the case. They are very much meeting today in Washington D.C. Boy, wouldn’t you want to be a fly on the wall when these two intellectual powerhouses exchanged geopolitical observations?
Jessica Simpson Has Been Dumped — Again
Poor Jessica. First she’s contemplating dumping her singing career for a movie career, and now Adam Levine, lead singer of “Maroon 5″, has dumped her — and not just that, but he dumped her via text messaging! How hip!
Jessica Simpson has Fantastic Cleavage
Newly single girl and ProActive pitchwoman Jessica Simpson looks good in white. Of course it helps that she’s basically busting out of her top, introducing the world to her wonderful twin talents. I wonder if she’s named them? If she hasn’t, I recommend “Ditzy” and “Airhead”.
Jessica Simpson Scores $1 Million as “Employee of the Month”
Poor Nick Lachey. While his ex Jessica Simpson has to hire help to haul her cash to the bank, Nick is relegated to suing the ditzy blonde for support. And here’s news that Jessica will bank an impressive $1 million for her new role in “Employee of the Month”, which according to In Touch magazine she’ll only have 806 words of dialogue throughout the movie. If you’re good at math, that means she’ll make $1,240 for every word she has to say in the movie! Oh, Jess, will you marry me?